| "I Once Was A Jonah" |
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| Sitting here thinking about the events of my life that have led me to the place and state of mind that I am at today, I can't help reflect on the title above... Mostly because the person that you see today is not the person that I have always been. I was raised in church, more importantly TRUTH my whole life. I was witness to the power of a praying Mother, that never questioned the awesome power of Jesus Christ. For it was she that bore the load of spiritual leadership during my life. I remember as a little girl coming home and my sister and I sitting in the hall of the house listening to the sound of intense, life changing prayer coming from the closet of my mother's bedroom. Although, she has never cared to sing, or be in any sort of spot light she would be so involved in prayer that she would literally be singing recognizable songs in a beautiful heavenly language. The shame is that even the beauty and knowledge of knowing who God really was when I became old enough didn't deter me from going my own way. The drawing of the world was so strong and I was determined to check out the bright lights and big city on my own. After all surely I could live under the covenant of my praying mother... Turns out that I did, but not without consequence, pain and heartache along the way. You see I know that I am here because of her prayer. Honestly it took me a good 10 years to find my way back to God. Not because I didn't know that is what I ultimately needed, but because it can be just that hard once you leave his presence. Not only do have to change your life, but you have to bare the guilt and shame of the choices you have made and for each of us they are all different. I am so thankful that God is so merciful and that although I have never deserved one single blessing in my life, he has given me so many! After figuring out that I could never make it on my own, and running in complete opposite of everything I was called to do, God literally placed me in the belly of a whale of my own problems. It seemed unbearable then, but it was so for my benefit. It was there that I realized that life was nothing without him, and no person, job, friend, or family member could ever be to me what he could! So if you are running, and you've taken a long hard look in the mirror to find yourself as Jonah... in the belly of a whale.. Just know that you too can find redemption, restoration, and peace like you have never known. Just don't wait and waste valuable years of your life taking chances on getting it all right, only to not be aloted the time to get back..... Whether you are young or old as long as you have breath there is hope.... Don't be a Jonah! And if you are go ahead and face reality and pursue the Ninevah that God has called you to go too! |
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