| Life's Not Fair.. STOMP...STOMP...STOMP!!! |
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23:17 Let not your heart envy sinners, but continue in the fear of the LORD all the day. 24:19 Fret not yourself because of evildoers, and be not envious of the wicked; 24:20 for the evil man has no future; the lamp of the wicked will be put out.
Here we go again...... I am having to apply one of yesterday's and one of today's Proverbs directly to my day, and I don't want to. I want to stomp my feet and pitch a good old fashioned temper tantrum because life is not fair!!!
If you will permit me to whine for a moment, I will explain.....
For the past 25 months, my life and my children's lives have been very difficult. We've all been in survival mode, and have made it through pretty well. However, we've not had a real break from it all. I dream of taking us all away to Disney World for a week and just forgetting about the real world. But, of course, that is so far from practical, it's just a dream.
However, I have wanted to do something special - just a little get-away for me and my children. My goodness, we haven't had a vacation or even a whole day away or anything in over two years.
So, I got this brilliant idea..... since I am off on Labor Day, that gives me two days in a row off -- Sunday and Monday. I have tons of PTO (paid time off) accumulated -- because the only days off I have taken this past year are one day each for my chidlren's birthdays. We are allowed to cash in our PTO, so that is what I decided to do.
Then I had to decide where to go and what to do. We love going to the beach and we've always talked about how much fun it would be to stay in one of the hotels directly on the beach.
I did a little research and decided that we would spend Labor Day on Okaloosa Island (between Fort Walton Beach and Destin). We could spend the night at a hotel with a gulf view/balcony. Then on Monday, we could go to the Gulfarium (I haven't been since 3rd grade, and they've never been). I did the math and put in a request for the number of hours I thought I would need to cover this little two day Get-Away.
I've had this all planned out. My PTO was to be direct deposited today (my last pay day until after Labor Day). I checked my account this morning and saw this tiny amount deposited. I thought there surely had to be a mistake. I called payroll and found that it *was* correct. What I didn't know was that you only get 90% of your base pay. Then they tax it at 25% AND still take out Medicaid and Social Security. Needless to say, that's not enough for my fun filled night at the beach.
Now, if you've read this far, then you've agreed to let me whine, so here's my biggest (but last) cry baby fit -- Mike has just come back from a three day vacation in New Orleans. IT'S NOT FAIR -- WHY DOES HE GET TO GO OFF AND DO STUFF WHEN I CAN'T??? O.k.- tiddy baby fit over.
So, now you see why I am really having to apply those two verses to my life today. I think I need to write them 500 times each or repeat them 1,000 times each day until the sink in.
I know God is in control -- and He knows what He is doing through this. This did not surprise Him - only me, but it just doesn't seem like life is fair.
When I found all this out, I just had to go to my room and regroup. I was just flipping through my Bible and came across:
15:16 Better is a little with the fear of the LORD than great treasure and trouble with it.
and....
37:16 Better is a little that the righteous has than the abundance of many wicked. 37:17 For the arms of the wicked shall be broken; but the LORD upholds the righteous.
I know I need to meditate on these verses. I know in my heart they are true, but in my humanity, I still get envious and angry, and that is wrong.
**God, please take away my envy and jealousy -- I know I have so much more by having You as my Savior and friend, and that is worth so much more than money or vacations. Please help me to keep my focus on You - and not on circumstances. - Amen ** |
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