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| Can being a Christian be Torture? Sometimes? |
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(Disclaimer: This blog is probably not for my Christian toddler friends, or babies. As I am asking for myself here, I am not a teacher)
I have been joyously struggling lately. Well, sometimes it’s not so joyous.
I am glad I am, though, because my Christian friends have taught me that this means a huge blessing is coming. Sometimes I tell my friends that it feels like I am being tortured because I am a Christian. They look at me as if I just said something horrible. This torture though, is only in my own mind. I suppose I am growing in my relationship with Christ. ALL I desire is to learn, grow, and serve him. All I desire is to be a living sacrifice for him. To be a living sacrifice it means that I must obey the bible at all times. Sometimes it is almost like I am wearing my own invisible crown of thorns that keep poking me when I say or do something that I know I shouldn’t and then there is a scripture that tells me something different. Like when I am at work and all I want to do is goof off, read blogs, read the e-sword bible, write blogs or talk/text my friends/family NOT analyze revenues or bad debt. Well the bible says in all things I should do them as if I would be doing it for the Lord. I don’t think the following verse was the verse I was looking for, but it does say the same thing in a round about way. Tit 2:7-8 In all things see that you are an example of good works; holy in your teaching, serious in behavior, Saying true and right words, against which no protest may be made, so that he who is not on our side may be put to shame, unable to say any evil of us. (BBE) Sometimes I shove an extra helping in my mouth, or indulge in sweets, when I know I should treat my body as a temple of the Lord’s. Or as of my relapse last year, I struggle with smoking. (Pray I finally quit, this time yeah I quit last week and struggle this week) 1Co 6:19-20 Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit in you, whom you have of God? And you are not your own, for you are bought with a price. Therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God's. Or like when I quickly get angry to something that is stupid when I know I should be slow to anger. Pro 16:32 (I had to show three versions since I struggle with this one.) (BBE) He who is slow to be angry is better than a man of war, and he who has control over his spirit than he who takes a town. (CEV) Controlling your temper is better than being a hero who captures a city. (MKJV) He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit is better than he who takes a city. Or better yet, my mind can go crazy sometimes with fear of the unknowns. Fears with my children, whether we are guiding them correctly, fears about their future, the list goes on and on and on. My husband knows, when my fear button is pushed, Watch Out! Luk 12:24 (BBE) Give thought to the ravens; they do not put seeds into the earth, or get together grain; they have no store-houses or buildings; and God gives them their food: of how much greater value are you than the birds! Php 4:8 Finally, my brothers, whatever things are true, whatever things are honest, whatever things are right, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report; if there is any virtue and if there is any praise, think on these things.
Rom 12:2 And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, in order to prove by you what is that good and pleasing and perfect will of God. There I go again sinning against the Lord and it, I am holding me back. I know it is supposed to be a process. Php 3:14 I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus. I know, I know, I know the verses or Becky’s paraphrases keep going off in my head about obedience. See how lately, it feels like torture to be a Christian. Let me just back up to where this all began. We moved into our new house the end of May. Since it sits on three acres of what we call the Sherwood Forest (cause if you are looking for dad he’s in the Sherwood Forest cutting down trees), we had a problem with all kinds of bugs and critters. We had to call the bug man Orkin to come to our house to spray. Patrick was assigned to this quest and came once, then when we moved in we still had a ant problem so I called back. I just happened to be there on vacation unpacking us. Patrick was on his lunch break and it was a little ways from our house, also having a really bad day talking to the Lord a lot, but he decided to come anyway. Well we discussed the bugs, and then ever so boldly our discussions turned to the Lord because Patrick was a bold warrior. He walked and talked about the Lord so boldly that I started to ask him questions. My questions were why I could have my days or weeks where I felt like I was walking at lower levels than I should be. I compared it to percentages. When I finally opened up the door and accepted Him as my savior my walk and joy was at 50% then as I became more refined by His glorious fires (trials and tribulations), my walk became more like 75% - 85% then if I fasted and searched for him fervently it would actually go up to almost 95%. But it never stayed at that 95% level. I wanted to get past that 95% level and stay there for more than just a fast. I loved the pure joy and discernment at that level. He said it was possible, if I was blessed by the Holy Spirit, and continued my fervent walk. I was baptized in the water, full submission. I had only been sprinkled on as a baby so the realization that I wasn’t really baptized hit me and I asked to be baptized. I also asked for a healing, and the baptism of the Holy Spirit. I received the healing, it was miraculous. But I didn’t receive the Holy Spirit blessing.
I met his wife and we went to their church for a while, and it was great! I am still good friends with them. But the church wasn’t for our entire family, because they didn’t feel comfortable with freely flowing speaking in tongues. I knew what I have been missing is being blessed by the Holy Spirit. It isn’t that I necessarily care to speak in tongues, but I would like to know that the Holy Spirit is in me. If that makes some sense at all, I believe the bible says that the evidence of you being blessed by the Holy Spirit is that you speak, even if it is just once. I have been with the Holy Spirit, I have been held by the Holy Spirit, and I somewhat know if I am hearing or seeing something that isn’t of the Holy Spirit. Anyway I searched, and studied, and cried to my husband because I felt undeserving. I knew it was a gift and I felt I was such a sinner; I wasn’t worth getting that gift. I knew that wasn’t true, because of course this IS God we are talking about. We were so blessed to have found a church (Calvary Chapel – non denominational -“bapti-costals”) that met the needs of my entire family. It is so Spirit filled that it has inspired my entire family to seek out the word of God more than just on a Sunday. But all the time, they are searching, seeking and fellowshipping. I am so blessed. Then I was even doubly blessed that a dear friend moved back into this area, you know the military always move around. She gave me great advice and a bible study on the topic of the Holy Spirit. She said, “Seek the Lord as a deer pants for water”
The study (which is not mine, just plagiarized) includes these words, words which resonate with me:
"As with counseling or assisting inquirers to receive salvation, it is in order to encourage people to receive the baptism."
¨ Acts 8:14-17 Now when the apostles which were at Jerusalem hear that Samaria had received the word of God, they sent unto them Peter and John: Who, when they were come down, prayed for the, that they might receive the Holy Ghost. Then laid their hands on them, and they received the Holy Ghost.
There are two basic requirements: - Acts 5:32 We are his witnesses of these things; and so is also the Holy Ghost, whom God hath given to them that OBEY HIM.
Obedience is knowing Jesus as Savior and having also presented your body as a living sacrifice, HOLY, and acceptable unto God for the Holy Spirit is going to move from being “with you” to being “in you” “know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost?”
- Luk 11:1-131 For what father of you, if the son asks for bread, will he give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will he give him a snake for a fish? Or if he shall ask for an egg, will he give him a scorpion? If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more shall your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask Him?
Salvation is for all but only those who confess and receive are saved. The promise of the Holy Ghost is “for all flesh” but the individual must ask, yield and receive. Ok, so here is my dilemma. I never seem to obey. I always fall short. The more I try to draw closer to the Lord the more I realize I fail at everything.
Try as I might, patient as can be, I feel like I will never be worthy of the Holy Ghost. When will I get to follow these words and reap the rewards? Gal 5:16 I say, then, Walk in the Spirit and you shall not fulfill the lusts of the flesh. What am I doing wrong?
Do you see why I feel like I am in a joyous torture in my walk as a Christian?
Desperately seeking Jesus,
Becky
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Dear friens Becky, i have read your blog and i understand the torture you exspress, however i want you to know that this is merely a growing process, sometime people when they get saved some things are taken away instantly, while other things take time and a whole lot of prayer, i like you and somany other people have and still struggle with smoking, they just dont admit it! anyway i still to this day struggle with smoking although its been sometime scince i have had one, but now i live with a smoker and its even harder! but i keep praying and asking the Lord to keep me and he does, now you watch somebody say that you shouldnt have that problem. but guess what they probably never struggled with that sin! but rest asure they have struggled with something.
also the Holy Spirit lives in every believer and he does not go any were but its up to us to yield to him. ( Before anyone says anything i am not saying we have a lisence to sin) but we do have forgiveness of sin. |
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Becky,
If I had to describe you in one word it would be - Precious.
You write in such a way, that I can see you. Ok, there's a lot here. Let's start from the end, shall we? You said, "What am I doing wrong?"
I say to you this: it's not what you are doing wrong, it's how your looking at it. You also said, "I fail at everything." Again it's how you're looking at it. Look at the words that you use. Example. Everything means all things, right? Can you really say, you fail at all things? I need you to stop and think about this. Let me know your thinking on the matter and when you are ready, we can continue.
Pastor Aminata |
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So true Evangelist,
So true.
Pastor Aminata |
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Becky |
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September 21, 2007 at 9:34am |
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Evangelist,
I suppose what is killing most right now is the disobedience, but Yes yeilding is something I am having a problem with too. Although I don't really quite understand it. If I try to interperate what I think it is it would by "Thy will not mine be done". Always trying to turn my will and my life over to the care of God.
Other than that I guess I really don't get yeilding. Please feel free to elaborate.
Thanks |
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Becky |
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September 21, 2007 at 9:47am |
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Pastor Aminita,
Precious? Precious? How can you possibly see this as Precious? I see it as a toddler stomping their feet and demanding their Father give them a new toy called the Holy Spirit. Frankly I am quite embarassed and ashamed.
I do fail at everything when I am going it alone. I think I have asked God to give me direction and his will everyday, then it is ooops, shouldn't have done that.... forgive me....ooops shouldn't have said that... forgive me...Ooops Why did my mind turn to that thought.... ARGH! Then I have to start all over again. Please show me the way to SSA (Selfish Sinners Anonymous). I want a 12 step program to get rid of me.
I know the only one who is standing in the way of everything is ME.
The only thing that I am doing right, is not giving up and seeking Him even more in EVERYTHING.
Still love your teaching, just frustrated with self.
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The most "Precious" thing in my life right now is my granddaughter Shadae. She is two going on three. To make this quick, she wants, what she wants, when she wants it.
Becky this is why I see you as Precious.
One more thing: I am stealing it.... nope forgot can't steal in the name of Jesus.... ok, I am robbing you.... nope, can't rob in the name of Jesus either.... let me think, let me think....
It's best that I just ask. May I use your saying.... "SSA" Selfish Sinners Anonymous. Girl, that's a lesson in and of itself.
Ok, so now I'm asking you this, which one of your above questions do you want to begin with? Is it the disobedience?
Let me know.
Pastor Aminata |
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Becky |
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September 21, 2007 at 10:47am |
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Ok then I suppose I am precious, but you forgot I want it and I want it NOW.
Yes please start with disobedience. I have been bad, and I am tired of time out!
Please feel free to use SSA, or anything else. My mind races so much I don't know what will spew out of it sometimes. I just hope somehow it can be Godly.
Just a Jesus Junkie
Becky |
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Becky,
Shadae is only two, only she doesn't realize what two means yet. You should hear her, "Boy, go do your homework!" "Boy, go clean up your room!" She is talking to her 11yrs old brother. She is repeating what she has heard her mother say. Shadae doesn't understand that she is only two.
Becky doesn't understand what a 'babe" in Christ means yet. It doesn't matter how old you are in the natural, it's how old you are in the spiritual. There is so much to learn, so much to understand, and like children will do, they want to grow up fast.
Ponder on this and I'll get back at ya.
Pastor Aminata |
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Becky |
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September 21, 2007 at 11:58am |
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Ok... I will ponder :-(.....
I know slow and steady wins the race, but, but, but ...I wanna be good soil.
Luk 8:15 The seeds that fell in good soil stand for those who hear the message and retain it in a good and obedient heart, and they until they bear fruit. |
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O.K Becky, 1 John 1:9 helped me alot it says " If we confess our sins He is faithful and just to forgive us our sin and cleanse us from all unrighteousness" the key to this verse that helped me is" HE"!
Allthough you and i are not always faithful.HE is always faithful to his word, again ( thats not a liscense to Sin) but one thing you have to understand is that confession is just like breathing! You sin you confess and repent, you sin you confess and repent! it is a constant thing that we all go through, the more you yield to the Lord the easier it gets to forsake that thing, just like the more you yield to the sin the more you are going stay in it!
We could get into so much with this question , like Holiness, sactification,and other things, but to avoid those out thier who think that you can talk to those learning in a more indepth way, i want to give it to you at your speed. all the words i listed are progressive words and you have to progress in your walk! The more you talk to the Holy Spirit the more you yield to his voice the better you will be able to understand as he does.
you will no that he is a person, and he can be quenched, grieved, and neglected!. and you will grow to realize that this is not a person you want to feel like that so it will become easier to obey him. I pray this will help. |
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| By the way you are good soil. |
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Becky |
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September 21, 2007 at 7:45pm |
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Wow.
I have re-read intermitantly what the both of you have said all day long. I have pondered, and pondered. I am just going to write some of the things that I will ponder on some more because I believe they are the points you may be trying to make to me.
Evangelist,
You say the Holy Spirit is living with me, that is hopeful, I never dreamed He was there within me. I just have to yeild to Him. When you say that I am going to try to answer that with a couple of questions. So are you talking about the voices in my head and heart? There are many and they conflict with each other. Or in a pictorial sense, the devil and the angel sitting on my shoulder? When you talk about yeilding are you talking about yeilding to what the word is telling me is right?
Pastor Aminata,
Ok I think I got the lesson of SSA, I am in conflict with myself. You knew it was wrong to steal, or rob, but you were in conflict with the Word you knew in your heart. You then proceeded to yeild to what is right and ask.
As far as disobedience, I don't know what my problem is. Why can't I slow my mind down enough to yeild to the Word? It is usually afterwords, mainly in my mind but sometimes in my words, that I think, oops that was wrong. Then I am in "time out" with my sin asking for forgiveness, and sometimes I have to go back to others and ask.
I am a little confussed about the "babe" in Christ. I know I want to be a sponge and absorb as much as I can, whenever I can, all the time. Just like a baby, who amazingly learns how to crawl, walk and talk all within two years. I thought the bible told us to remain like children, in our walk. But that is probably a Becky paraphrase that is probably wrong. Are you trying to tell me that I haven't had enough study (spiritual time) in the word, but I am not patient enough to wait, like Shandea? Are you saying that I am repeating what I hear from the Bible and trying to act like Him when I am too young in my walk to get it? This I am not getting at all. You, Pastor Aminata have so many things packed in your teachings it makes me think, just like many of the hidden meanings in the Bible. Sometimes it makes me think way too much. It hurts, but I love it.;-) So moving on talk about obedience too.
Evangelist,
I understand HE is always faithful. At the rate I am going I will have to confess and repent with ever breath of life. But this helps a lot about the yeilding.
You sin you confess and repent, you sin you confess and repent! it is a constant thing that we all go through, the more you yield to the Lord the easier it gets to forsake that thing, just like the more you yield to the sin the more you are going stay in it!
Ah ha, so this makes sense it is like a cycle, a vicious (sinful), or beautiful (repentance & forgiveness) cycle that spins you closer to Him. Got it.
Then you say, the Holy Spirit is a person, you also say he indwells in me, then you say that person (HS) could to be quenched, grieved, and neglected. You are telling me to quench the HS in me and neglect the sin in me right? the more I practice the cycle the more I will obey, Right?
Wow, I need to sleep on all this information.
By the way, if I am on good soil, why does it feel as if I am on rocks and have weeds? Is that because I am growing?
Thanks Brother & Sister
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Becky, first let me say to you that no you Dont want to quench the Holy Spirit, because he is like fire, and what happens when you put water on fire?" It goes out" The Holy spirit is a resident that you have invited to come and live with you- You have to know that when a person recieves Jesus as Savior he comes and lives in the believer, however its like if you invite me to come and live with you and, say " this is your home" but you never allow me to come in the kitchen, use the bathroom freely, nor,give me anything to eat unless i ask you. ( I would never feel like i am home) i would feel like a neglected guest. Thats how he feels. (unwelcomed) The Bible tells us in John 14:16,17"and i will pray the Father,and he shall give you another Coforter,that he may abide with you for ever; even the Spirit of truth; Whom the world cannot recieve, because it seeth Him not, neither Knoweth Him: but ye know Him; for He dwelleth with you,and shall be in you." Becky, this scripture refers to another comforter who comes to take place in you (Jesus the Holy Spirit) And just like Jesus didnt make you accept him, the Holy Spirit is not going to make you do anything either! I know it is not easy but just like the relationship that you have with your husband ( You didnt just know his likes and dislikes) No you had to learn, and that takes time. you have to learn What HE the Holy Spirit likes! The only way to do that is to spend time with him reading the word of God, praying and yes, yielding. You may not like what he has to say but " believe me you" His way is always for your good , Remember he is the teacher.
As for the Babe in Christ thing, and i pray you wont get upset, but you can be saved for fifty years and still have the walk of a two year old! The reason you might ask is simple! we want what we want and not what he wants, anything that goes agaist the will of the Father He is not going to allow. ( This is Quenching the Spirit!) Its only when we yield ourslves to him that he can operate freely.
Last thing. A lot of us , including me dont have real power with God is because we refuse to yield to the Spirit that is in us.
i pray that you will be blessed after reading this and pray that you will begain to know him more. |
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Becky |
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September 22, 2007 at 5:51am |
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Evangelist,
Ah ha, I understand, I hope.
I asked my husband to read this, and afterwards he said, "Becky don't you know you already have the HS in you? It is evidenced by all the voices in your head." Wow that was comforting, I REALLY thought at times I was going crazy. I had this happen once before as an addict/alcoholic and that is when I went to treatment, the first time. So this time, at times, I was actually scared and thought I would end up in the mental ward all the voices were driving me crazy, making me depressed, and I was scared to talk about it in fear you all would think I was crazy.
So the Holy Spirit lives in me.Cool. What you are saying Evangelist is that I will have to quench my thirst for the Word of God because the Holy Spirit is on Fire inside of me. I will need to greive me, because it is no longer about me if I am completely yeilding to the Holy Spirit. The same is true about neglecting me, when I neglect me I am free to to the work God wants me to.
No I am not upset about the Babe thing. Disgusted in myself, but I wanted it right now because it was so crazy all the voices in my head and I was angry cause it felt like I could never be obedient to the Word of God. My husband went to San Jose , CA on a business trip for a week a couple of weeks ago. One night I cried and cried to him for hours, and he yeilded to his Holy Spirit he told me that he wished he could be there to hold me, but this was something I had to go through. He wished he could help, but he couldn't.
I wanted to be Baptised by the Holy Spirit, and yes I wanted it right now. I thought the baptism was what was going to make the torture stop. I thought I had to see the evidence of the Holy Spirit in me. I wanted to be happy joyous and free. I didn't realize that it was the obedience and yeilding to the Holy Spirt and God that was going to set me free.
For some odd reason I felt lead to put this down in AA/NA terms, I have had a lot of that training (attendence in meetings), I saw a lot of people that had twenty years or so but they were angry ole farts then there were people who had two or three years and they were happy joyous and free. I wanted their years at first but then I wanted the happy joyous free part. Funny thing, going back to the AA realm, step #3 is "turn our will and our live over to the care of God". The people with the fewer years understood step three and applied it in their lives. Evangelist, I have seen it in the church too, but didn't understand it as thouroughly as I see it clearly today.
I haven't been to AA in quite a while, not that it doesn't help, it does. I just know for me without God in my life I will go back. Experienced that a year and a half ago ( after a year of no walk with God), after almost 7 years of sobriety, the first 6 of those walkin with God, almost killed me. So my fire to stick with God every day has kept me happy joyous and free without the desire to drink or use. I couldn't get into the belief and acceptance for some people that the group could be the Higher Power, not God. To me, it was my backdoor to accepting Jesus, but it helped me stay sober enough to listen to Him.
Anyway back to the issue at hand, I have learned that there is a cycle. Obedience, and yeilding must occure if I am to listen to the Holy Spirit which dwells within me. I must stay in constant prayer, repentance, and reading/studying of the word so I can fuel the fire of the Holy Spirit within me. Only then can hear the will of God, only then can I be free of the torture.
I am blessed from reading this and I will be seeking him as a deer pants for water like my girlfriend told me to do.
Thanks a lot |
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Becky i am glad you got somrthing from this, and i want to tell you something i was on all kinds of drugs before, i used everything under the sun, i am not saying this to Glorify it, i am saying this to teach a lesson! With all the AA/ NA meetings i have gone to! The onlything that got me sober was God! i am not saying that NA/aa wont help because that would be a lie, but i will say that the onlything that completed me was the Love of Jesus ( this is a Fact) Becky i say this with the Love of Jesus " I Have Grown to Love you and your Famly over the past week) i mean that with all my Heart! You have something to offer and alot of people need to hear your story! Dont be afriad to tell your story! Keep on reading and praying and the Lord will fill your mouth with great Power.
You Have a voice! use it to the Glory of God. |
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Becky,
You said, "Anyway back to the issue at hand, I have learned that there is a cycle. Obedience, and yeilding must occure if I am to listen to the Holy Spirit which dwells within me. I must stay in constant prayer, repentance, and reading/studying of the word so I can fuel the fire of the Holy Spirit within me. Only then can hear the will of God, only then can I be free of the torture. "
I want to add that the "torture" that is experienced is when we entertain our own thoughts. Sometimes, I just have tell myself to shut up. Seriously, just tell yourself to shut up, tell self, you don't know the answers, you don't know how God is gonna move."
Remind self, how good God has been to you. Each day as we gave thanks to God for our "daily bread," we won't become overwhelmed with the tomorrows, with the what ifs. Practice living each moment with Jesus. Let Jesus fill each moment, and there will be no room for "self talk".
Love ya,
Pastor Aminata |
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| well said Pastor Aminata! |
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Becky |
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September 24, 2007 at 9:45am |
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Pastor Aminata,
So True Thanks.
Funny thing I have something similar to that posted on my cube. It should actually be a screen saver for my computer. Candance forwarded it to me from another friend who received it from a daily e-mail (long story short, I really don't know who to give the credit to). So I printed it off & posted it by my computer. It says:
You can't win a victory as long as the problem is the bigest thing in your life!
Matthew 6:24-25 "Ye cannot serve God and mammon. Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life."
I'd read that scripture hundreds of times, but that day I say something I'd never noticed before. I saw that immediately after Jesus said, "No man can serve two masters," He said "Take no thought. Suddenly it hit me: We serve our thoughts!
That's why Isaia 55 says for us to forsake our thought, and by the word, take God's thoughts. That's why 2 Chorinthians 10:5 says to cast our thought that challenge the Word and bring into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ.
Do you want deliverance from your problems today?
Then quit serving them! Quit allowing them to consume your thought life. And don't wait until circumstances change to do it. Instead, realize that circumstances won't ever change until you switch from wrong to right thinking.
I know that's not easy to do, especially in the midst of heavy darkness and trial. But you can do it if you'll do these three things:
First, remember you aren't alone. You have the Word (God's thoughts). You have the Holy Spirit to strengthen you and you have the nind of Christ.
Second, get around people who are full of faith. Instead of rehearsing your problem, let them do the talking. Make yourself listen. Join in with their faith and resist darkness.
Third, praise God. Do whatever it takes to make yourself praise. When you begin to praise, God's presence will turn back those worried thoughts and make them fall!
Your problems are not the biggest thing in your life. Jesus is. Serve Him with your thougts and he will set you free!
Yeah, I really wish that was mine, but it isn't.
Funny thing I should have not only looked up, but over. Didn't realize I was serving my thoughts. I like telling myself to shut up. I will practice on this.
Love ya back "Jedi Knight"
Becky |
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There you go.... O how sweet is the Spirit that abides within thee...
One day darkness was trying to get about in his house. Darkness kept bumping into things, because Darkness couldn't see. He kept bumping into walls, hitting the corners of countertops, knocking over chairs, and lamps. Before long, Darkness was all bruised up. Just black and blue all over.
Once again Darkness still trying to get about in his house, tripped and fell upon yet another wall and accidently turned on the light switch. Well, all that brightness was most uncomfortable to Darkness, squenching, and such trying to make adjustments and all, until he realized something.
The light was simply too much to bear. Darkness couldn't handle being in the light. He hurried up and hit that light switch back to off. You will find Darkness today, still trying to get about in His house, still bumping into walls, still knocking over chairs and lamps, still black and blue. But never, ever did Darkness hit the light switch again.
Just my rambling thoughts....
Pastor Aminata |
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Hi Becky,
You said "I would like to know that the Holy Spirit is in me." A question. How do you know a particular tree is an orange tree? Or an apple tree? By the fruit! In Galatians 5:22-23 Paul gives a list of the "fruit of the Spirit." These are very useful for (1) knowing if others are really living after the Spirit of God, and (2) assessing your own progress in the faith. Speaking in tongues may be as much an evidence of the indwelling of the Spirit as morning quiet times, or church attendance. In other words, tongues is not proof of the Holy Spirit within. Tongues can be faked, and the practice of tongues goes on in other religions around the world, it's not just a Christian practice. This is not a condemnation of the practice of speaking in tongues, it's just to say that this is not the proof of the Spirit's presence. The fruit of the Spirit, since it comes from the Spirit and is easily seen by all, is a more reliable measure of the Spirit's influence in one's life. Paul even said things such as speaking in tongues were meaningless without love (which is a fruit of the Spirit).
Here's a link to a blog I wrote about a spiritual exercise which turned my life around. I recognized the "I do what I do not want to do, and I don't do what it is that I do want to do...." syndrome, and simply decided to put guilt and shame on the shelf and pursue God regardless of how obedient I was. And the great thing I found was, my dogged determination to seek God daily paid huge dividends. The sins I couldn't get rid of in my own efforts simply started vanishing, as if God himself were taking them away.
God bless you sister, hope you are encouraged. ~mike |
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Well said Mike, well said.
Pastor Aminata
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