| Towards the lamb... |
|
| |
Sometimes these BLOGs should stay in my journal but I've just plain become more used to being more transparent here on My Church.
this text was used at todays service. 3:20 See, I am waiting at the door and giving the sign; if my voice comes to any man's ears and he makes the door open, I will come in to him, and will take food with him and he with me.
This next text didn't really come up but it has been on my heart a lot lately.
3:7 And to the angel of the church in Philadelphia say: These things says he who is holy, he who is true, he who has the key of David, opening the door so that it may be shut by no one, and shutting it so that it may be open to no one.
By the time I had sat through both services I had one thing on my heart. That is that I need to repent from Fear of Rejection.. Perhaps part of this is if a door is shut I don't need to be trying to manipulate it open.
the other side is true that if it's open I need to go inside. I did have it layed on my heart to get the number of the fellow that drives the bus for church. Unfortunately I didn't get his number. So much for obedience.hopefully God being a God of second chances will lay this on my heart again. If the need be I have a chauffer's liscense and am familiar with the operation of wheelchair lifts having spent several years installing them and repairing them for a local Durable Medical Equipment dealer.
But this brings me back to whatever I was talking about to begin with how does one repent from fear? I find that I succomb to it way more often than I'd like. I sometimes feel like fear is very akin to idolatry. I love my fears and insecurities more than God. Fear produces excuses. I can't do this of thus because I don't have this or that ability.
While I stayed clean in NA and there was a lot of positive things that came with it. Fear kept me from stepping out of my comfort zone. I'll simply hang here where it's safe rather than seeking God amongst the people who worship Christ. Fear told me that Christians would have nothing to do with me.
Other Christians didn't say that. As it turns out there are a lot of Junkies staying clean and getting lives in a lot of places besides the 12 step fellowships. I saw no solution to fear as a kid. I was raised in a Church but a long way from a Bible. We had a Bible on a bookshelf at home but it stayed there until it was to be dusted around.
As it turns out the Word really does change us. |
|
Follow this blog
