I just feel the need to encourage myself in this blog. I write all the time to send a message to encourage others, all along while being hurt. The weight of hoplessness has burdened me down so much lately. I remember a time when this feeling would come and I would quickly bounce back and get it together...lol But now, things have really taken a heavy toll on my life. I am at the place where tears just come when I talk about it what's happening; I don't have peace within and my mind has been in total chaos. I need deliverance, and if it's not meant for me to be delivered, then I need God's grace. A lot of times, we look at test and trials as a place where we have to endure suffering, but I believe that this place of transition in my life is so I could die. I was reading a book called "LET GO" by Fenelon and there were some great points that he made that made me understand why I was facing these challenges. This chapter is called "The Death of Self', Letter 4 page 6... Here's an excerpt...

"And the very proof that God loves you is that He does not spare you, but lays upon you the cross of Jesus Christ. Whatever spiritual knowledge or feelings we may have, they are all a delusion if they do not lead us to the real and constant practice of dying to self. And it is true that we do not die without suffering. Nor is it possible to be considered truly dead while there is any part of us which is yet alive. This spiritual death (which is really a blessing in disguise) is undeniably painful. It cuts "swift and deep into our innermost thoughts and desires with all their parts, exposing us for what we really are." The great Physician who sees in us what we cannot see, knows exactly where to place the knife. He cuts away that which we are most reluctant to give up. And how it hurts! But we must remember that pain is only felt where there is life, and where there is life is just the place where death is needed. Our Father waste no time by cutting into parts which are already dead. Do not misunderstand me; he wants you to to live abundantly, but this can only be accomplished by allowing Him to cut into that fleshly part of you which is still stubbornly clinging to life..."

So can it be that the reason why we feel pain and suffering is because we are "under the knife"? God is cutting away the impurities that are causing us to be spiritually sick, and cleansing us from the inside out.

I don't know about you but when it comes to suffering, this is one area that God really helps me with. We can have all the scriptures in the world that can tell us about it, but when it comes down to it, none of us like it. But we have to learn to glory through it, so God can be glorified in it...

Check out the New Living Translation version of the scripture:

I don't know about you, but my hope is in the "later". I can't focus on the now because things are not the way that I desire them to be right now. I can't focus on the now because there is pain associated with the now. I can't focus on the now because things are NOT they way that they should be. But my later..... better yet.... my latter will be greater than the now and then.... Halleujah!!