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| Our relationship will be tested – so prepare! |
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Call it a fact of life, a spiritual reality, or a necessary evil. It seems all meaningful relationships are tested. No adversity? Then probably not a very important relationship. The more valuable the relationship, the more likely it is to be tested, and tested often. Got a friend? Expect occasional friction. Got a really good friend? Expect heavy friction from time to time. Got deep relationships with other Christians? Expect major friction – and pain! Married? Whoa, don’t even need to go there, we all know what that can be like! So expect the testing to come. Furthermore, when it does come, try to remember that it’s an opportunity for growth! (James 1:2-4)
In the midst of difficulties, it’s tough to see the benefits “trouble” can bring. Growth and resilience are brought to a relationship through testing. If you accept it, embrace it, and have a vision of what the relationship will look like after the testing, your relationships should be able to soar through any trial. Of course the secret to overcoming relationship problems is in the power of the Holy Spirit, and especially with the nine relational aids the Spirit offers: love, joy, peace, patience, goodness, kindness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self control (Gal. 5:22-23). None of these are contrary to any law or any standard of behavior – in other words, when these are in good supply, any relationship will be strengthened!!
If Satan thinks he can isolate us easily by throwing adversity at our relationships, I sincerely hope he’s mistaken! I’m sure he hates relationships, at least, healthy ones. He’ll do anything to drive a wedge between people! And especially people that stand to gain from each other! Christian relationships aren’t the only ones under attack, and Christian couples aren’t the only ones getting divorced left and right. God made relationships, for himself and for humankind. Therefore we should expect Satan’s ceaseless attacks on them. Let’s defy Satan, and persevere in our relationships!!
Here’s another thought. As long as we’re living here, we are going to put our relationship with God to the test. Not necessarily on purpose, either. Thankfully he is abounding in grace and faithfulness. And he promised never to abandon us!
Can relationships grow without testing? Can they deepen without pain? Will we accept the testing and embrace our growing relationships, or will we react to pain by throwing in the towel and looking for easier (and less meaningful) relationships? I hope we can follow God’s example of faithfulness and longsuffering. In the long run, it’s almost always worth it. |
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| To add a comment to "Our relationship will be tested – so prepare!" |
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| September 28, 2007 |
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| I know whatcha mean about Marriage. In marriage I've learned that I'm only as good as my last mistake. So, I just try not to do nothin dumb and it usually works out alright for me. |
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| September 28, 2007 |
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| When I start having negative thoughts about someone, I slam on the mental brakes, so to speak, and do a 180. I tell God I'm sorry and then ask Him to show me what needs to be worked on in me. He is always faithful to show me where I need to grow... :-) |
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| September 29, 2007 |
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| When is there ever growth w/o pain? Yet growth itself is a Joy. Good post. |
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| September 29, 2007 |
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Mike, You've been a real pain in t........ Wait. You mean that might be a good thing?!?!? |
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| September 29, 2007 |
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| BTW, I debated adding 2 stars to that and many smileys... ;) |
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| September 29, 2007 |
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| Great words Mike , I thought i was the only one who was being tested(lol) Marrige, Relationship, friendship, and Ministry all relationships Have their trials, In Fact i quit the ministry every week Lol, but i have, and am learning that these things are going to happen! and i am getting strenghth from every trial, even though i wish i didnt have to go through them. Thanks mike, i needed that! |
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| September 29, 2007 |
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lol - Norm, your always bringing a smile to my face. Often whether you mean to or not. (Maybe it's that cat in your pic...) Thanks for the star, buddy. Good to hear from ya.
Jen - right on! My hope is always that I'll become aware of those negative thoughts BEFORE I do or say something stupid to hurt someone or make things worse!
BlewJ - Amen. Growth is a joy, though don't we always have to look backwards to see it?
Pastor Tim - great list. Seems like something I should keep in my pocket as I begin my new career as an usher at church! (It's a part time gig.)
Mullet - lol, I hope Cathy is able to look past those mistakes. :-) I would guess so, just keep amusing her with your humorous stories!
And Shannon, great thoughts! Way to bring the Spirit into how we monitor our interactions. For us, it's all about following the leading of the Spirit. Oh that I could cling tighter! ps.... you make me laugh too! |
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| September 29, 2007 |
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Hello Keith! No you are absolutely NOT the only one tested. But Satan wants you and I to think that very thing! As soon as we think we are worse off than anyone else, we're in danger! We're harder on ourselves, more likely to give up on relationships, tempted to isolate ourselves, etc. We get a lot of benefit from being in a "marriage enrichment small group" at our church. (We actually lead it.) The point is, by getting together with other believers and talking about relationships, we see that ours is certainly not the exception. ALL marriages go through struggles!
(This blog wasn't actually written in response to marriage crisis, but it was originally "penned" after a couple of my tightest Christian relationships were tested -- boy did that hurt! Yet God pulled us through, and I'm confident we're even tighter now as a result. Praise God!) |
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| September 29, 2007 |
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| Mike, I have been through serious problems in my marriage, and I know from experience that working through those problems made our relationship stronger. There will be tests throughout our lives in different relationships, but if we let God lead us, we can work through those tests and make our relationships strong. Good blog! |
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| September 29, 2007 |
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Carrie Ann, I would hope that we can all remember that testing of our relationships will come, in this lifetime! That is a sure bet -- so let's expect it, and not be so completely taken by surprise. Hey, I'm glad you realize it sometimes and are able to say to yourself "freeze! stop right there!" Just like Jen, above.
Jack, Yes, Satan certainly can be a tool in God's hand. I would hope that we would all welcome prayer for ourselves -- because there are actually TWO sides of grace!
Deb, praise God that he continues to sustain your marriage. There's a serious testimony there. Thank you for your faithfulness to God and your perseverance in his will for you! |
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| September 29, 2007 |
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Mike,
I know that one thing I have found is to let Jesus be Lord of your relationships by staying sensitive to whether there is life in them or not. God connects and disconnects the joints of His Body according to His will and purposes. One relationship may have spiritual life at any given time and another may not. Do we "kick against the goads" and try to keep alive what God is not on just because it once was a spiritually living relationship in the past? No, we follow after life.
Of course, when it comes to marriage or other covenant relationships we must maintain regardless of how we feel.
John |
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| September 30, 2007 |
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Mike my life was a test even before I got married or saved, at that time I was being tested by the enemy and welcome him because it look good felt good taste good.When God sent somebody to resue me by mnistering the word to me I ran Today I'm still being tested and not just by the enemy God has his own tests He just wants to see how I would react to them. Mike 26 years of marrige to the same man yes it was work, tests and trails and storms but we pulled to gether to make it work by the grace of God, not just my husband I had to build my relationship back with my children with the grace and mercy of our God all things are possible.
TESTING WHY DO WE FACE TESTING IN OUR LIFE? BIBLE READING: Genesis 12:10-20 KEY BIBLE VERSE: At that time there was a severe famine in the land, so Abram went down to Egypt to wait it out. (Genesis 12:10) TESTS THROUGHOUT LIFE CAN TEACH US TO THINK CLEARLY AND TO CONSTANTLY TRUST IN GOD. When famine struck, Abram went to Egypt where there was food. Why would there be a famine in the land to which God had just called Abram? This was a test of Abram’s faith, and Abram passed. He didn’t question God’s leading when facing this difficulty. Many believers find that when they determine to follow God, they immediately encounter great obstacles. The next time you face such a test, don’t try to second-guess what God is doing. Use the intelligence God gave you, as Abram did when he temporarily moved to Egypt, and wait for new opportunities. TESTS SHOW US THAT MAKING ONE GOOD DECISION MAY NOT PREVENT ANOTHER BAD DECISION. Having trusted God and moved to Egypt for a while, Abram immediately made a bad choice. Acting out of fear, he asked Sarai to tell a half-truth and say that she was his sister. She was his half sister, but she was also his wife (see Genesis 20:11-12). Abram’s intent was to deceive the Egyptians. He feared that if they knew the truth, they would kill him to get Sarai. She would have been a desirable addition to Pharaoh’s harem because of her wealth, beauty, and potential for political alliance. As Sarai’s brother, Abram would have been given a place of honor. As her husband, however, his life would be in danger, because Sarai could not enter Pharaoh’s harem unless Abram was dead. So Abram lost faith in God’s protection, even after all God had promised him, and told a half-truth. This shows how lying compounds the effects of sin. When he lied, Abram’s problems multiplied. The tests became real trials. BIBLE READING: Genesis 22:1-18 KEY BIBLE VERSE: Later on God tested Abraham’s faith and obedience. “Abraham!” God called. “Yes,” he replied. “Here I am.” “Take your son, your only son-yes, Isaac, whom you love so much-and go to the land of Moriah. Sacrifice him there as a burnt offering on one of the mountains, which I will point out to you.” (Genesis 22:1-2)
TESTS ARE INTENDED TO MAKE US, NOT BREAK US. God tested Abraham, not to trip him and watch him fall, but to deepen his capacity to obey God and thus to develop his character. Just as fire refines ore to extract precious metals, God refines us through difficult circumstances. When we are tested, we can complain, or we can try to see how God is stretching us to develop our character.
TESTING BRINGS OUR REAL PRIORITIES OUT INTO THE OPEN. Why did God ask Abraham to perform human sacrifice? Pagan nations practiced human sacrifice, but God condemned this as a terrible sin (Leviticus 20:1-5). God did not want Isaac to die, but he wanted Abraham to “sacrifice” Isaac in his heart so it would be clear that Abraham loved God more than he loved his promised and long-awaited son. God was testing Abraham. The purpose of testing is to strengthen our character and deepen our commitment to God and his perfect timing. Through this difficult experience, Abraham strengthened his commitment to obey God. He also learned about God’s ability to provide. BIBLE READING: 2 Chronicles 32:24-33 KEY BIBLE VERSE: When ambassadors arrived from Babylon to ask about the remarkable events that had taken place in the land, God withdrew from Hezekiah in order to test him and to see what was really in his heart. (2 Chronicles 32:31)
TESTING CAN BRING OUT OUR TRUE CHARACTER. God tested Hezekiah to see what he was really like and to show him his own shortcomings and the attitude of his heart. God did not totally abandon Hezekiah, nor did he tempt him to sin, or trick him. The test was meant to strengthen Hezekiah, develop his character, and prepare him for the tasks ahead. In times of success, most of us can live a good life. But pressure, trouble, or pain will quickly remove our thin veneer of goodness unless our strength comes from God. What are you like under pressure or when everything is going wrong? Do you give in or turn to God? Those who are consistently in touch with God don’t have to worry about what pressure may reveal about them. BIBLE READING: Psalm 11:1-7 KEY BIBLE VERSE: The LORD examines both the righteous and the wicked. He hates everyone who loves violence. (Psalm 11:5)
TESTING GIVES US A CLEAR OPPORTUNITY TO GROW, WITH GOD’S HELP. God does not preserve believers from difficult circumstances, but he tests both the righteous and the wicked. For some, God’s tests become a refining fire, while for others, they become an incinerator for destruction. Don’t ignore or defy the tests and challenges that come your way. Use them as opportunities for you to grow.
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| September 30, 2007 |
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Mike...
This is very timely. You know through personal messages sent from me that I have had my share of trials and tests in my relationship. And if you even look closely at my friend list and maybe yours....one friend is missing. This doesn' mean that we have called it quits....just realizing that storms are upon us. But maybe one day we can grasp the vision past the storm. Thanks for this blog my friend.
Jeremy |
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| October 14, 2007 |
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| Very well written and very true! |
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| October 14, 2007 |
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| And very worthy of re reading from time to time. |
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| January 12, 2008 |
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Thanks Mike, The lord brought me to your blog just now and stopped me from being a jerk its a good thing the lord knows what you need and when you need it. thanks to all who left comments also this is really blessing me more and more every-time i log in may god bless you all !!!! Thanks for allowing the Lord to use you with blogs! Praise to the Lord for Him writing though you! |  | Bud |
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| January 12, 2008 |
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| My goodness Bud, you must be some kind of angel! Thank you!! |
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| January 12, 2008 |
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Mike
My everything was tested yesterday, my read post GOD MERCY AND GRACE |
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| January 13, 2008 |
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No angel here Mike...Jesus leads and I'm learning to follow! thank you |
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