A minister once said, forgiveness comes from God.  If you feel that you can't forgive, ask God to help you.  God showed me, if I don't forgive, He won't forgive me.  That really got my attention.  I definitely need to be forgiven because I am not perfect, make alot of mistakes. 

When I was first saved, I found out that the babysitter of my children was abusing my son, he was 4 at the time.  He was mentally, spiritually and physically abused from 2-4, didn't find out until he was 5 and at another babysitter.  He truly believed that he was bad and was going to hell.  As little as he was, he asked me if hell was real.  I told him yes and he said, I guess that's where I'm going.  I asked him, do you love Jesus?  He said, yes.  I told him, he would never end up in hell.

I went the route of trying to have the county pull her license and was told since a 4 year old could not give specific dates, they would not pull her license.

God put me thru some step:  First, this woman and myself were one aisle apart in the bakery of our grocery store, when my little girl at the time (8 years old) told me that woman was staring at us.  I started shaking and gripped the grocery cart and yelled, if she looks this way one more time I will not be responsible for my actions. (cleaned that up a little for this web site)  I left and cart and walked out of the store.  I prayed, Lord help me with this rage.

Second encounter,  I was driving home from work and looked at the car in front of me on Rte 5 and guess who was driving it?  Yes, that woman.  My leg started shaking and I cried out to God to give me a sound mind.  Help me to forgive this woman.  I felt like I passed that test, I didn't run her off the road.

Third encounter, same setting on Rte 5, but this time I started to feel sorry for her.  I prayed, Lord help her she is really a sick person mentally.

Finally, I saw her again years later when my son was in middle school.  She walked past me as fast as she could.  I prayed, Lord I forgive her, You forgive her and save her.

I haven't had the opportunity to speak to her again because she has moved.

My son, has never forgiven her and I pray he will someday.  He is now 21.

God has put me through many steps of forgiveness over the years.

I believe when you forgive someone, you trully have to forgive.  When I write about this woman I do not feel rage, I feel pity for her now.  If I had the opportunity, I would invite her to church.

The question I have is this:  Some say when you forgive someone, you do not have to reconcile with the person who hurt you.  You don't even have to tell the person just God.  I believe you do especially if the person is a christian.  I don't think when we get to heaven we will be able to ignore the people who we have forgiven.  It really takes alot of energy avoiding someone.  The next step of reconciliation is the hardest, it involves humility. 

In His Service,
Evangelist Shellie Polk