The comedian George Burns once said, “Too bad the only people who know how to run this country are busy driving cabs and cutting hair.” Burns humorously illustrates the point that without a doubt, there will always be critics. This is what led Elbert Hubbard to say, “To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing.” One can conclude, then, that receiving criticism is an unfortunate part of life in our fallen world.  

The longer I live the more I am convinced that how well one deals with criticism will be the determining factor regarding ones success in life. Indeed, allowing criticism to consume us will thwart the plan of God. In today’s blog I would like to offer 5 points that will help us deal with criticism.

Our tendency is to value people’s opinions too much. This is not to say that we go around not caring what people think. To the contrary, we should remain sensitive to others and try our best not to cause a reason for them to criticize. It has been said, “If you are a Christian, you can expect folks to criticize, but you ought to live so nobody will believe them.” However, we must avoid the trap of people pleasing. “People pleasing” finds its root in the satanic lie that says, “I must be accepted to feel good about myself.” If this is true of you, criticism is probably your personal battle.

One of the best ways to impede the affects of criticism is to draw closer to God. This is done by passionate prayer and an unquenchable passion to know God’s Word. In doing so, what is fostered is an unshakable foundation that cannot be destroyed. You see worry and prayer do not mix. Consequently, what is needed is a determination to seek God and let what He thinks about us supersede what man thinks. To do this, we must be connected to God.

What I am not saying here is to try to avoid criticism all together. That would mean that we have to adopt some sort of medieval, monastic lifestyle, which is obviously unfeasible. Besides, criticism can be beneficial sometimes. Instead, when possible, avoid putting yourself in a position to receive an exorbitant amount of undue criticism. If you have a friend or a relative who is a constant source of criticism, you may have to change how much you spend time with them.

When we confront criticism, it is not necessarily a negative thing. In fact, it may be an opportunity to clear up some confusion. I have experienced this many times as a pastor, particularly when there is a change being made. During times a change there is the occasional misunderstanding that develops which results in ensuing criticism. However, a loving confrontation maybe all that is needed to dispel the criticism and restore harmony in the organization.

My wife is a Spanish teacher and on occasion we go to places where Spanish is the primary language. I remember on one occasion where my wife and I went to a Mexican restaurant and she ordered her meal in her usual perfect Spanish. After the waitress took her order, she turned to me and asked in Spanish what I wanted. Instead of allowing my wife to interpret for me, I tried to speak Spanish for myself. What I meant to say to the waitress was that I speak little Spanish. Instead, I told her I speak pig Spanish. Because I avoided using an interpreter the message was distorted.

Likewise, we need someone who can listen to us talk about that criticism that was leveled and allow that person to interpret either the validity or lack of validity of the criticism. If you don’t, you may fall into the trap I fell in and find yourself speaking pig Spanish.

Augustine once prayed, “Lord, deliver me from the lust of vindicating myself”. The need to do this sometimes arises because of the preoccupation with the criticism that has been leveled. One way to avoid this trap is to think about all the things you do right, all the blessings you have received, and write them down as a reminder. This allows the criticism not to cloud your perspective.