1:9 For they themselves report concerning us what manner of entering in we had unto you; and how ye turned unto God from idols, to serve a living and true God, 1:10 and to wait for his Son from heaven, whom he raised from the dead, `even' Jesus, who delivereth us from the wrath to come.
As many of you know I work as a tech in a 28 day addictions house. I work pretty much all evening shifts and one of my duties is to take the guys to a AA or NA meeting. I find myself thanking Jesus or telling Jesus that I love him under my breath (boy do I wish I were bolder). I would be considered a seasoned old time in either of these fellowships.
If I'm asked to speak I'll introduce myself by saying that it's only by God's grace that I stayed Sober/Clean this long. But generally I just wont speak in either of these fellowships because I believe there is only one God that's willing to save me even thou there are many imposters who would want to deceive me.
But last night I succombed to the temptation to speak. the topic was AA's 3rd step which is 3) made a decision to turn my will and my life over to the care of God as we understood him. This is a good Idea, and I really like the quote that my buddy Jen has on her profile about surrender by CS Lewis.
The book Alcoholics Anonymous has something called a third step prayer which Goes "God I offer myself to tee to do with as thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self." etc. etc.to me the prayer said is less imprtant than the decision made.
To me it's a decision to do something that I've never done before. sometimes its a moment by moment decision to live for Christ. I was not at all happy with what I had to say. I felt myself being pulled backwards. But like philipians 2:13 sais it's god who works in me. I think my flesh was trying to produce some sort of rightiousness which of course it can't do.
I was late for the first service at church and hadn't slept hardly a wink the night before. I was just plain wanting to rest on my laurels. I was getting along well with people. But sometimes at the end of the day when I would say I was in a good mood I found that my walk was horrendous.
Because at the end of the day it's not what I did or didn't do but did I remember who's I am.
Thanks Lara, for years I put off surrendering to Christ, thinking I'd do it just as soon as I got it right. So finally I decide to surrender and then I suddenly want to get to work getting things right.
It's all a process that's for sure. One way to make it easier on yourself is to focus on Him. More Him less you. Don't hold back, allow God to use you, just know that's it's Him and trust in Him. Hope this is helpful.
I know everyday it's a battle called spirtual warefare, it's a battle we do everyday, but God gave us the power, to take control, so there is nothing to feel guity about, nobody is pointing a finger at you, it something we must work out everyday with the Lord our God
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