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God is working on me. Have you ever been unmistakably and powerfully under the conviction of the Holy Spirit for a period of time, but didn’t know where He was taking you? I am there. For three weeks I have been unable to get past a particular situation, which, in itself, does not seem to merit such intensity. Because I have given my word not to speak of it, however, and because I suspect a part of what God may be trying to remind me of is that He can accomplish much greater things through only my prayers than I can accomplish through any of my own ideas and actions, I am forced into silence. For three weeks I have prayed and cried (literally) for His intervention and His wisdom. Sunday I got a partial answer from Him: "Do nothing for now. Talk about it to no one involved. Just pray fervently and allow Me to work."
Well, since I can’t talk about this issue, let me tell you about a similar time in the past, when the Holy Spirit was working overtime to get a message to me:
It was the summer of 1995. I had just moved into my newly built house maybe a month before and was ecstatic about it! All new, built to my own specifications, and being the ISTJ that I am, I had meticulously calculated the finances, and all was well. The entire process of building, closing, and moving, came together more perfectly than I could have imagined, and I hadn’t a care in the world. Until God stepped in . . .
"Sell the house," I sensed Him telling me, as I prayed. The first few times I ignored it, but it got stronger and stronger. Every time I prayed, I heard Him, and I cried in frustration: "No, God. That makes no sense. I prayed about building this house from the very beginning, and you gave me your OK. I’m happy with it, I have just moved in, and it would be crazy to sell it."
All my prayers began to bounce off the ceiling, as if unheard. I cried more and more in frustration. Day after day. Then I stopped praying because I couldn’t take it anymore. He still didn’t let up. I could hear Him everywhere: "Sell the house."
"What would everybody think?," I asked Him. No answer.
"Where would I live?" No answer.
"Can you just give me a reason?" No answer.
One Sunday after church, I reached my breaking point. I knelt down by my bed and cried in disbelief at what I was about to say: "OK, Lord. This makes no sense to me at all. I love this house, and I feel like a crazy person, but I will call the realtor tomorrow morning and put the house on the market." It was a crazy but sincere prayer of blind and desperate obedience.
All of a sudden my black and white world turned to color. The tears dried up. The heaviness of my heart dissipated. I knew at that moment that I didn’t have to sell the house. "Thou shalt have no other gods before Me." Now God was restored to His proper place in my life. He was number one. There was nothing I would not give up for Him.
Twelve years later, the house and I are still together, but it has its proper place of importance, and every remembrance of that period of spiritual turmoil serves to remind me of a lesson learned.
What might He be teaching me now? I will keep praying . . .
18:22 And when Jesus heard it, he said to him, "One thing you still lack. Sell all that you have and distribute to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow me."
20:3 "You shall have no other gods before me.
22:9 When they came to the place of which God had told him, Abraham built an altar there, and laid the wood in order, and bound Isaac his son, and laid him on the altar, upon the wood.
15:5 I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in me, and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.
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| Sounds like a very big deal for you Kathy. I can offer my prayers... |
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| I ain't usually up this late, but was tonight. I will really be praying for you Kathy cause I can sorta relate. See, one time our Pastor was sayin things from the pulpit that just were really abrasive and harsh. I knew he meant well, but sometimes he just didn't speak the truth in love. So, obviously my first instinct was to go tell him what I thought about him... or at least go tell somebody else lol. Well, instead God told me to keep my mouth shut and just pray for my pastor. So that's what I did. And amazingly he changed. Turns out the guy has a real moldable heart, and God was able to change him real easy without me sayin a word. lol |
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Awesome blog.
As I was reading your blog I couldn’t help but think about the battle of Jericho. God commanded the people to be totally silent as they walked around the city of Jericho. I am sure that they were wondering what God was trying to teach them? Then, as they obeyed the Lord, the walls fell down. I believe that through what you are doing regarding praying fervently and allowing Him to work, God will answer your prayer and the walls will come down. God bless you sister; I will be praying for you! Pastor Tim |
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Kathy |
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October 10, 2007 at 4:45am |
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Pastor Tim, the Jericho image is a perfect one! Thank you for giving me a new image of the wall that is before me. You get it! And thank you sincerely for your prayers!
Mullet Preacher, "I ain't usually up this late" either! You know how it is when you start a blog . . . Your story too is very fitting! You too get it! Thank you, MP!
Mike, when I was writing this post, I started to ask for prayer, but decided that those who understood the post would pray as God led. A sincere thank you, my friend! |
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Kathy,
After reading your blog, these words comes to mind is "purge" or "prune." Having been placed in a muted postition many times by the Holy Spirit I have come to realized this: that it is through the agony, tears, much prayer and total surrender to His Will that we are privy to the Awesomeness of the Almighty One. As we evolve in His Grace, we must be pruned for that next level.
Pastor Aminata |
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Glenn |
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October 10, 2007 at 6:02am |
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Surrendering everything can be a very difficult thing! We sooo want to be in control, but true control only comes when He is calling the shots. God please allow Kathy to know your leading today and rest in your grace.
peace |
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Kathy,
Great devotion for me this morning as I start off my day...
Two points I picked up here - maybe not for you, but for me: First, you say "He can accomplish much greater things through only my prayers than I can accomplish through any of my own ideas and actions" How humbling of a statement, but how true. We often wonder what the power of prayer is. Even not knowing precisely, you step out in faith knowing who the One is that is leading. Awesome statement of your heart. Second, in your example, the end result was you being changed. Not somebody else. Not the rest of the world changing for you. No, you being changed to be more like Him. Wow.
Need to chew on this food for a while today. A good meal is best savored. Selah. |
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Denise |
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October 10, 2007 at 6:09am |
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| Praying for you Kathy, and thanks for the eye opener for me. |
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| ISTJ ? ¿Qué significa eso, hermanita? |
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| I will be praying for you, Sister. God bless. |
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| ISTJ is a personality type... stands for Introverted Sensing Thinking Judging. |
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Jen |
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October 10, 2007 at 8:15am |
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| Thanks for sharing this with us, Kathy! Lifting you up in prayer! |
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Thanks Kathy, It's good to hear from you. I was wondering where you got to. What test does the ISTJ come from (Meyers-Brigg?). Don't know what's up, but I don't need to. I'll be praying for you sis. God Bless You, Jess |
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| I'll be happy to lift you up in prayer, but I must say this post was a real blessing. |
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Deb |
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October 10, 2007 at 9:33am |
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| Obedience is a tough one, but God keeps speaking to us, chasing us down until we listen to Him. Thanks for the great post, and I will pray for you. |
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Kathy |
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October 10, 2007 at 11:08am |
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Pastor Aminata and Deb, I welcome any purging or pruning God wants to do in my life, although not always at the time! I hope He never stops "chasing me down" and working on me!
Thank you, Glenn. Tough truths for us stubborn types!
Voice, thank you. You make me smile! And you are so right. For a couple of weeks I thought my conviction was about what to do about "the other people," but I suspect now it has at least as much to do with whatever He is trying to mold me into through this struggle.
Elmer, Jess, Denise and Jen, thank you so much!
Elmer and Jess, my apologies for throwing out the ISTJ thing with no explanation! Yes, it is a personality type from the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, as Mullet Preacher explained. I am a very strong J, which means I organize and plan everything out, even my spontaneity! :)
Dave, thank you! Your comment blessed me back! |
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...the effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much. ~James 5:16
I will also pray for you!
Blessings,
Prudence |
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You know, there have been times when I have said, "OK, LORD not now" and he just keeps plugging away. We are his CHILDREN and even though we know to stop, listen and obey we just keep trudging along until there is no choice but to stop and heed him. He needs to reach down and wear our fannies out like my mom use to do. But he doesn't, he just keeps gently nudging us.
I thank you FATHER for your patience, love, guidance and understanding. PLEASE never ever stop nudging me in your direction.
Kathy you are in my prayers as always..
MUCH LOVE |
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Kathy |
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October 10, 2007 at 5:32pm |
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| Great verse, Prue! Thanks! And thank you, mstovall! Be blessed! |
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Kathy, that was "Awesome"! God is so Good...if we would only take hold of his hand and allow Him to lead us "where ever" our lives would be so "Spiritfilled".
That reminds me of an experience I had some time back...God had instructed me to give something up..."not that there was anything wrong with it...but He told me "No"...trust I got counsel by all and everyone that felt as I did....they too felt there was nothing wrong with it. My life got real "Quiet" if you know what I mean...I began searching the scriptures and praying. Mainly trying to justify...without dealing with "That" after "Several" hours of searching, reading, praying, crying...I so desperately asked "God Please Answer Me"...and in a still quiet voice HE SAID...I already answered YOU!...WOW...I had to take a Stand! God wanted to take me in a differenet direction than my family and friends...He wanted to Walk Alone with me and Teach Me! I had to be Obedient alone! I learned a very valuable lesson...1) When God Speaks...He Is Your Only Counsel 2) When God Directs You...Seeking Someone Elses Advice which goes against what He Instructs ...Is SIN 3) We Think We Choose The Direction of our life...It's God that "Directs Our Pathes"!
I know that this probably has nothing to do with your situation but it makes me feel good knowing that He Is In Complete Control of our lives.
Sisters In Christ
Annette
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Kathy |
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October 10, 2007 at 8:32pm |
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Marcella, thanks for sharing your story! It is encouraging to hear stories of others' spiritual battles, especially when they reaffirm our own! We are blessings to each other!
Annette, thank you! Actually your story applies very well to mine. Sometimes God works on us when we are doing something "good", but He needs to give us a different perspective or take us to a new level. And if we are looking to justify our own desires, there will always people to agree with us, but God doesn't call for a vote. You understand! |
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| Wow, that really spoke to me. I love it! |
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| Awe! Thanks for posting! You got me thinking so much about where we are right now in our life. maybe we should consider selling it all & see if He takes us up on it! LOL! |
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Kathy |
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October 11, 2007 at 4:52pm |
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Thank you, Hands! I'm happy to meet you and am glad you enjoyed this post!
Shannon, you won't have any trouble justifying that biblically! Our lives have moved a long way from that ideal, haven't they! |
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Rosie |
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October 12, 2007 at 2:38am |
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| GREAT BLOG KATHY I'M PRAYING FOR YOU.......... |
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Joey |
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October 12, 2007 at 12:00pm |
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Kathy,
It IS the walls! Oh, the walls of humanity!
We must keep in mind that "It is in God's time", not our own. We must do what it is that He has called us to do and be merciful and to keep praying. You have such a pure heart. May God surround you with his love and comfort as you work and seek Truth.
Love,
Joey |
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Kathy |
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October 12, 2007 at 12:47pm |
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Thank you, Rosie! And Joey! Waiting upon the Lord is difficult for me. I want to jump in and fix things, but my "fixing" is grossly inferior to His perfect work! |
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Kathy |
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October 12, 2007 at 2:53pm |
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D., I'm going to respond to your private question here, so others can add their responses as well. You asked: How do you listen to the Holy Spirit? First, that's a great question, and I assure you I don't have the all-encompassing answer, but I will share with you some elements that come to mind from my own personal experience, and I invite others to share here with you about theirs.
1. I find I can't listen unless I am 100% focused on Him. No time limits, no distracting noise, no family members running in and out. Just Him and me. Alone without a clock. I pour out my soul to Him, whatever is on my mind, including any concerns, questions, or dilemmas, and I ask for His direction.
2. I have no expectation of HOW he may choose to speak to me. He speaks in so many ways. I don't expect Him to answer me right at the second I ask, but I try to be sensitive to His voice however and whenever He wants to speak. Maybe through my Bible reading, maybe through my pastor . . . Sometimes I just wake up in the morning and know the answer!
3. I understand that not all my questions will get a response from Him, as so many of my concerns are not nearly as critical from His omniscient perspective. For example, I have seen friends stress themselves immensely over what job God wants them to take. Imho, He is not usually concerned with which job we do, but rather of how we serve Him in it. Make your own choice, He says, but give that choice to me. If He DOES care about which job you take, He will make that clear to you somehow. I firmly believe that if we are fervently seeking His will in our decisions, He will not allow us to make the wrong choice.
4. I don't expect to receive a clear telegram from God every time I want one. Notice this story happened 12 years ago, and is so memorable because of the rarity of such a clear "telegram."
5. Finally, I find that if there is any disobedience in my life, I have messed up the communication.
A prayer for you D., and you are right that communication is paramount in any relationship! I suspect we all hear from God more than we are aware! |
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| Thanks for the experienc Kathy. |
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Kathy, you share a lot of wisdom in your comment above on "hearing from Him". It is so key to learn the Master's voice and, as you say, it can come in a variety of ways. His promise is that if we seek Him, we will find Him. My desire has been to have a seeking heart. That is when I hear from Him most clearly. Distractions, as you stated above, cloud the communication and I am the one who hurts.
Wow, so much to digest at once...(pass the peas, please;^)) |
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| Wow Salmon, corn lots of fresh corn hear in Terre Haute, and Tomatoes. yummm. Thanks voice. learning to slow down and listen. I have a bad habit of having that quiet time at the end of the day. When the occasional deep breath needed to be during the day, and the reading and quiet time before jumping into the days trials would also have been a good idea. |
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One thing to add here. Kathy states:
I don't expect to receive a clear telegram from God every time I want one.
A few weeks ago we did a study on David in the cave of Adullum. This is where Saul comes into the cave and David cuts off part of his robe. All of David's people were telling him that this was the Lord delivering Saul into David's hands. Why would they tell him this? Because David had been telling them all that the Lord would deliver them. In walks Saul and everybody believes this is the Lord moving...except David, who thinks it out and even has some remorse over cutting Saul's robe. What does this teach me? That we may not always get a telegram, but it is important that we hear from God and don't give in to those around us - even when they seem to be wanting what is best for us. I am not sure I could have backed off like David did. I would like to think I would have, but I think I would have seen it as God delivering Saul into my hands. Selah.
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Sue |
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October 13, 2007 at 9:20pm |
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| Very good post, Kathy. I also find that when we do let go of the things that God does not have in our lives, that we find very quickly that we never really "needed" them in the first place. I am sure glad to hear that you got to keep your house. |
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Kathy |
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October 14, 2007 at 6:23pm |
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So true, Sue! And thanks - I'm glad I got to keep the house too!
Voice, such an important point! I think one of our greatest mistakes hearing from God is that we ask everyone else's opinion first.
An interesting bit of info from the cave incident: The Bible gives us two different versions of what happened. (1Samuel is an interweaving of 2 different sources distinguished as "the early source" and "the late source".) One says Saul was sleeping when David spared his life. The other says Saul was "relieving himself." (1 Sam. 23:14 - 24:22 and 1 Sam. 26). One of hundreds of "discrepancies" in the Bible that so many Christians choose not to acknowledge for fear that it would mean God is not real! For me these small discerpancies, not only do not minimize God, but they add great validity to the Bible. I'll blog on this one day when I find some time! The Bible has so much more meaning if we read and study it in its entirety without religious politics. |
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How do you listen to the Holy Spirit? I'm always interested in just how God gets a point across to each of us. I know a guy who is very rational and logical. He asks God for guidance by asking God to "fiddle with his brain chemicals". I'm more intuitive, and rely on a heart feeling - if it's God's will, something I can't define will feel right, if not it definitely doesn't feel right. Both he and I seek out God's Word to make sure the way we are being led is in line with God's truth. If it doesn't line up with God's Word, it wasn't God. This thing I love about the Holy Spirit: He never seems to communicate with people the same way, but He always gets our attention (if we are willing to listen). |
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Neoka |
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October 15, 2007 at 5:15pm |
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| This is a great post. It's so true how we put things before God. A carnal mind would think well I'm not practicing idolatry becauseI'm not worshipping any other God, but the fact of the matter is anything that usurps the authority of God is idolatry. An example let's say Rachel got her feelings hurt by someone dear to her, and she cried night after night about it. Every night that she pondered over the situation was a night that she allowed that situation to take complete control of her. That situation had more power in her life at that moment. Anything that we get involved in, in this walk that takes more time than the time we spend with our Father is idolatry. He is Supreme, Number 1 so nothing or no one should usurp his authority. We have to get to that broken state to realize it. Whatever the case may be, God will be heard whether we like it or not, and what's so awesome about it is he loves us so much that he commands our full attention. So continue to stay focused on God, and you will reap a wonderful harvest in due season. God bless you! |
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Kathy |
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October 15, 2007 at 6:04pm |
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| Jess, thank you for adding your experience to that question! Neoka, you are right. Idolatry covers much more than we realize! Thank you for posting! |
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Becky |
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October 19, 2007 at 4:05pm |
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I KNOW KATHY
it can even cover Star Trek!
Love
7 of 9 |
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Kathy |
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October 19, 2007 at 6:54pm |
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Thanks, Seven!
A couple of great verses sent privately from a friend:
30:7 ...therefore have I cried concerning this, Their strength [is] to sit still.
Isaiah 30:7 KJV
30:15 For thus said the Lord GOD, the Holy One of Israel, "In returning and rest you shall be saved; in quietness and in trust shall be your strength."
Isaiah 30:15 RSV
Thanks, my friend! :) |
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Wonderful post, Kathy. We can so easily get our eyes off of the Lord and onto other things without even realizing it. I have heard it put that we seek His hand rather than His face and we are to be seeking His face. For those who may not understand, His face is relationship and His hand is what He can do for us. Relationship is what He wants; the things are byproducts of the relationship. 6:33 But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. I have had times where I have taken my eyes off the Lord, my Abba Father, and looked at the things He had done for me with more appreciation than for the very relationship that blessed me with those things. I believe it is part of the human condition. We just have to keep making those little adjustments so we don't have big, ugly ones to make later. |
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Kathy |
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October 20, 2007 at 12:46pm |
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| Good thoughts, Coreena! Simple words, but so hard for us to master! Thanks for being a part of my blog! |
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Kathy |
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October 20, 2007 at 9:28pm |
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| Story Update: My only instruction from God was to pray and not talk, until after the event. I failed. I needed to obey through today, and a couple of days ago I talked. There is always sin in disobedience to God. Although I am still praying about it, and still getting the sense that God is not finished working, I will never know what would have happened had I left everything in His hands without my interference. I am remorseful, repentant and becoming more maleable. My failure has caused me much inner grief. Tonight, however, I cried and smiled, accepting God's forgiveness. Thank you, Voice_in_DC for posting a blog that reached into my soul and brought God's peace. If you have messed up, and are feeling the pain, go read this blog: http://www.mychurch.org/blog/82678/Bays-Lesson-on-Performance God is not dependent on our performance, and He gives us another chance! It's time to pick myself up and get back to the work of prayer! |
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Jordan |
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October 20, 2007 at 10:48pm |
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| that's incredible. he speaks to you so clearly. how? |
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Water was pouring into the ship. Frantically with a bucket I was doing all I could but my efforts to avert the disaster were failing. Others watched my efforts but no one was helping. I didn't understand. Couldn't they see what happening? Didn't they know what was going to happen if they didn't help me?
The water got to my knees, then my waist, then my chest. Realizing it was too late I climbed exhausted to a dry place. I had done my best but my best wasn't good enough. Closing my eyes I began praying as I lay there.
"Why, GOD, why?"
"Couldn't they see what was so obvious? I tried and tried to save us but no one else seemed to care. They just stood and looked at me, some amused, others indifferent. I did my best, Lord, unless you do something we will all die."
Too tired to pray, feeling so tired, knowing death was imminent..."I give up."
I heard a splash and water covered me for a moment. I knew the end was near. And then another splash and another. The sound of children laughing. Confused, I looked to the place where I had worked so hard to try to save the ship from sinking. I was amazed at what I saw. What I had thought was water pouring in that was going to sink the ship was just a pool on the deck being filled.
Kathy, a smart person learns from their mistakes. A wise person learns from the mistakes of others. I'm probably the smartest person you will ever meet. I don't know how many times GOD has worked in situations in spite of my best efforts.
Some years back I had a dream. I was slamming a phone down again and again against the receiver. And then blood began oozing from the phone. I woke-up. I was troubled by the dream. That is not how I act. When I went into my living room all our grandchildren were in there. Because of family conflict some had not been to our home in over a year.
Now during the previous year I had often "comforted" my wife by assuring her she had not done anything wrong. And I would repeat the things that had been done and the words that had been said in an attempt to relieve her pain. Unknowingly, in spite of my best efforts, I was only adding to the pain of someone who did not need anymore pain. I understood the dream.
Some things I learned from that experience.
Be still and know that I am GOD.....includes my lips.
Even when I give up on someone or something GOD doesn't.
GOD knows what He is doing and doesn't feel the need to keep me informed.
Be quiet, don't give up, trust.
Since that time things have not been perfect in the family. But now I pray for those involved instead of "praying against". I believe that what GOD has begun in hearts He will finish and this is part of His process to bring it all about. Sometimes life is like giving the keys of your home to a realtor and trusting them to sell the house. We don't want to let go.
.....peace.....
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Kathy |
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October 21, 2007 at 2:16pm |
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Hi Jordan! Always great to see you! I don't think there's any all-encompassing answer to your query. See my response to D. above (numbered 1-5), and then to subsequent other commenters who have shared from their experiences. God bless you, Jordan!
Apureheart, thank you for your stories. One of your lessons is definitely one of mine here. I failed, and He is still working on me. Be quiet, Do nothing, Pray, and Let Him work! I am a "fix-er", and this is a tough lesson for me!
Tropical, I agree there are no pat answers. God is God and is not confined to whatever parameters we may set for Him. He speaks whenever and however He desires. Most of us will not hear Him through a talking donkey or a burning bush and shouldn't waste our energy wondering why. As you said, if we are His children, He is communicating with us somehow. I believe if we need an answer of what to do by a certain time and through fervent prayer have not sensed Him directing us, it is His desire that we choose. Sometimes our "big decisions" really don't matter from His perspective, and if they do, He will lead us to know the right choice (but it's still up to us to make it). |
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Kipper |
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October 22, 2007 at 9:38am |
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Hi Kathy!
Oh sister...are we kindred spirits or what?! I am going through something right now myself...for the first time in my life, I am unemployed. My govt. project eneded at the end of September and I have not been picked up for another yet. My humanity keeps wanting to step in and have a heart attack...being a single parent, my finances are slim to begin with! I feel as though my prayers are hitting the ceiling and there is no answer...I am doing all I know to do (apply for anything, not just projects) and meanwhile serving my mom, who has been in a rehab facility due to surgery 2 weeks ago (and she doesn't know the Lord) and "catching up" on life...all the things that have been sitting around here waiting to be done but have had no time to do them since I have not had any time off in over 3 years. Still in the midst of this, I have some variance of peace and I don't know why. My 18 years of serving our Lord tells me it's because it's HIS peace...and my mind tells me I am losing my mind!
You and I are both ISTJ so I know you can probably feel what I am feeling right now. I want to fix it and I have to continually focus on it is HIS job in HIS timing...which of course, is ultimately what I want. And your post to Jordan was right on target for me too. Thanks so much for always sharing...it's usually hard for me to do.
Peace,
Kipper |
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Kipper |
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October 22, 2007 at 9:41am |
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So sorry...was so egocentric in my post...I always pray for you too, sister! {{hugs}} Kip |
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Kathy |
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October 22, 2007 at 5:47pm |
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| Kipper, ah, another ISTJ! I'm so sorry to hear you're out of a job. That's one of those situations where usually, once you find another job, you look back and realize the break wasn't so bad, but during the break, when you don't know when or where you'll find a job, it's so hard! A prayer and a hug, Kipper! May this interim be a short one, may you find just the right job, and may God meet all your needs! |
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Kipper |
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October 22, 2007 at 8:48pm |
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You are so right! With this time off, I have been able to also focus on our church's biggest endeavor yet...the Harford Fall Fest (see my site for details). I am the chairperson and I now have some much-needed time to develop this event...as well as the job hunt...and helping mom, etc. ;) God has been SO gracious to me...how in the world could I complain? Focusing on helping others is what I do best, and as long as I continue to do that, I feel so much better! ;)
Thanks for the prayers and enouragement, as always!
{{hugs}} Kipper |
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Kathy |
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November 04, 2007 at 7:26pm |
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Kipper, any job prospects yet? |
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Kipper |
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November 05, 2007 at 3:44am |
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No...the same ones are still in frying pan...I am waiting for one of them to jump in the fire! But I keep plugging on submitting resumes...I am finding out, however, that it's all in WHO you know not necessarily in WHAT you know or do. There also may be an opportunity for me to start my own business (doing what I do as an administrator, but freelance myself to lots of businesses and work from home). I am exploring that option too. Something has to get moving though, I am running out of savings ;(
On a much more awesome note...the Harford Fall Fest was amazing! We raised lots of money and awareness for the Harford County Homeless Shelter and Food Pantry!!! When I get a moment to get some pictures on here, I will post some! God is so amazing!!!
{{love and prayers}} Kip |
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