I recently discovered something quite humbling. My husband is a genius. Yes, I did tell him and yes his head got a little big, but he deserves it. You see, my husband refuses to argue with me. He refuses to get angry or stir up any confrontation with me. For the majority of our marriage, this drove me absolutely crazy because I am a very analytically charged person.  I study counseling and psychological theories nearly every waking moment and I constantly want to talk through issues.  For me, this meant having a poignant, heated debate about something that I was passionate about….like him taking out the trash or something equally important as how to arrange his sock drawer or how to properly do the laundry. I thought for years that he was a weak, passive man who was too afraid to deal with conflict. I was very wrong. It has taken me nearly seven years to appreciate the gift that the Lord has given me in my husband. I never saw the beauty in my husband’s gentle, quiet spirit until the Lord has recently softened my heart. I know now that he is handling conflict in his calmness.  Has anyone ever successfully had a one person argument? It’s quite impossible, isn’t it? You see, my dear husband represents Christ in conflict by staying grounded. I have quite a lot to learn from him.  This I am learning.  But, you know the beautiful part? It makes me love him more! Imagine that. What God promised is actually true! Live by His principles and I will bless you! In this blessing is a simple call from the Lord telling me to do one thing….stop. Stop criticizing. Stop questioning.  Stop belittling. Stop nagging. And move on to something better. Start listening. Start loving. Start watching the look in your husband’s eye when you start to care more about how he feels than you may feel about being right. Ultimately, at the end of the day, being right is a very lonely place, isn’t it?

I remember a time when we first met and we were struck by a mack truck on I-95. It was  a potentially devastating situation and we could have been badly hurt if not killed on that night. Yet, I watched him in utter calmness, make sure I was alright, patiently get out of the vehicle, make sure the other driver was alright. And on we went. I was amazed. I still am, even years later.