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| Overwhelmed II |
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So after a year in AA/NA I found myself living in Junction Cit Kansas where I met my futere Ex-wife I was thinking I had a relationship with "my higher power" but would having nothing to do with organized religion. Which is pretty common amongst folks in those fellowships.
I met my futere Ex-wife and after we had gone out a few times my company transfered me to Wisconsin. I asked Dawn to go with me so "*poof*" we were living together. as far as I was concerned marriage was a minor detail. We got more and more stuff. We ended up settling in Terre Haute as my Dad was struggling with Cancer. Dawn and I got cars, started out with a house trailor, ended up buying a house, Then my Dad passed away and Dawn moved on with the new love of her life.
I started calling around all the churches around the holliday season 2000. I said if you can explain the Jesus &*&^$% to me I'd be happy to listen. I got one call from a former NA member that was working as a counselor for a huge Church. I talked to him after the worlds most miserable holidays had passed.
I sat down said the sinners prayer, and made another appointment to see this fellow, but then I ended up hooking up with another lady in AA, then another, but then I thought I really needed to get back to investigating this God thing, and I thought I'd check out the church I started out in.
I had worked through the steps several times in several fellowships, and tried to apply what I'd learned to life. But as I type this it seems to be more and more apearant that I need a good old fashioned miracle to keep on keeping on.
Anyway I went to the protestant church I was raised in until my folks got there divorce. I did every thing I could think of every Bible study, Every work day. But I was really struggling going from relationship to relationship. Long story short keeping God at arms length, and just counting on him when I needed him wasn't working.
I found myself going to my current homechurch after trying a lot of things, and just plain feeling a little more comfortable amongst fellow believers that followed the message on sunday morning in there bibles. I was given a copy of "Purpose Driven Life" I read through it but about that time I had a massive stroke. I was in the hospital for a little under two weeks. And really if it weren't for those who visited me and prayed for me I don't think I'd have made it.
About nine months ago I ran into a lady in NA that was Jesus this and Jesus that and I was thinking yeah yeah get a sponsor and work the steps. I hope things go well with her as she's only coming up on one year clean. But as I noticed that she was doing well in the faith department and I wasn't. I decided to start going to my own home church again. I withdrew from this lady for the most part for the simple fact that I wanted to make the decisions I needed to make for myself.
I heard a lot about having a relationship with Christ which I've decided I really need but I'm kind of dense in the listening area. I'm still pretty legalistic. And like to punish myself for the inconsistant walk I've walked so far.
There are a lot of areas I'm very overwhelmed in and I know I get overwhelmed easily. But I really feel I'm still walking pretty much like a infant. Unfortunately I hate to admit it and ask for direction. I've withdrawn for the most part from NA and AA because I just feel that God heels us and I don't need to identify myself as an addict or alcoholic all the time.
I still sponsor a few people in these fellowships. And I'm currently renting my extra room to some one who's trying to get clean. I just feel like it's time to shed a few tears, and let go of the past and step up to the inheretance of a child of God. 3:12 Not that I have already obtained, or am already made perfect: but I press on, if so be that I may lay hold on that for which also I was laid hold on by Christ Jesus. 3:13 Brethren, I could not myself yet to have laid hold: but one thing `I do', forgetting the things which are behind, and stretching forward to the things which are before,
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| To add a comment to "Overwhelmed II" |
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| October 24, 2007 |
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| Brother, you are on your way; you are growing in grace and knowledge of the Truth, Dave i just want you to know that i am praying for you hard and i am confident that God is going to take such a hold of your life. You are Growing Dave is all i can say, You are Growing and i'm happy to see that happen. |
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| October 24, 2007 |
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Thanks Dave. |
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| October 24, 2007 |
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Ha, I just realized I gave a totally recovery group response to someone sharing. Thanks for sharing your testimony Dave. It spoke to me. |
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| October 24, 2007 |
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Hey dave,
Great start to running a long race. You keep reminding me of things that God does in our lives to move us closer to Him. I think that when we get to the end, the closer we look like Jesus, and the closer were living to Him, in our hearts, well, that will tell all, I think! |
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| October 24, 2007 |
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(2 Corinthians 5:17) Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new. (NKJV)
Brother that IS who you are in Christ, A NEW CREATION, a born-again believer. The OLD THINGS of your life are gone, they've passed away. Jesus has given you a brand-new start as a child of the KING. The devil wants you to keep beating yourself up about your past. He knows that if he can keep you re-living all your past mistake and trying to do things in a legalist way, he can stop you from going forward to spiritual maturity in Christ. Remember my brother, its not about what you do or not do or will do, it's all about what Jesus has done.
(Romans 1:16-17) For I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ, for it is the power of God to salvation for everyone who believes, for the Jew first and also for the Greek. For in it the righteousness of God is revealed from faith to faith; as it is written, "The just shall live by faith."
(2 Corinthians 5:7) For we walk by faith, not by sight. (NKJV)
Turn loose the past, embace the cross, tell the ole devil to leave you alone, that your Heavenly Daddy is bigger, better, stronger, wiser, more merciful, more gracious, more loving, ...(do I need to go on).
My brother you are an OVERCOMER, NOT OVERWHELMED.
You got the victory through the power of the blood of Christ and the endwelling of the Holy Ghost.
If somebody don't shout I will, AMEN!!!!!
ALL FOR CHRIST
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| October 24, 2007 |
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Arlene, lol!
Dave, God is Good. He takes us wherever we are and uses our lives for His glory in ways we can't even imagine! Thank you for sharing your testimony! |
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| October 24, 2007 |
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See Dave...see how powerful it can be when we allow ourselves to be open and free. The more open (transparent) the more free. And look what you done gone and did... got Bro. Bob a preachin up in here.... Amen Bro Bob!
Dave you are like all of us... one of God's most precious. That's what you hold on to. As for tears.... shoot... man just send me an email and I will cry right along with you.... I'm always available for a good cry party... (this is not to be confused with a pity party... I don't do pity parties)... When we cry, we allow ourselves to empty...of ourselves... which makes room for more of the Holy Spirit.
Sniff... Sniff... I cry at the drop of a hat.... Bro Bob.. did you drop your cap?
Pastor Aminata |
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| October 25, 2007 |
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Hey Dave,
I will praise God for the good work he is working in you. Thank you for sharing your new beginnings with us. I pray God will continue until you meet Him face to face.
peace |
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| October 25, 2007 |
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| Step up, Dave. And thanks for p2, it was even better than p1. Glad to see you are finally embracing Christ Jesus the Person! ~mike |
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| October 25, 2007 |
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| Thanks one and all. |
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| October 25, 2007 |
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Dave, you are in my prayers. You are getting stronger, through God! Keep writing, please. It helps you and us.
Joey |
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| October 25, 2007 |
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| Life can be overwhelming, believe me, I KNOW. However, please don't feel bad asking YOUR CREATOR for help and direction! (Unfortunately I hate to admit it and ask for direction." NEVER, ever be sorry for that. HE will answer and HE will help. I have gone through one of the most difficult time periods of my life in the past five years! Believe me, even though in the midst of the storm, we are afraid and uncertain, but He will answer your prayer to shed HIS light on the path. I am not preaching to you, just believe me--I know HE does! |
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| October 25, 2007 |
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| Thanks Joey, Thanks child. |
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| October 28, 2007 |
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So...I M gratiful 4 all the affirmations U R getting on this blog...So...i M going 2 B the Part of the Body of Christ a.k.a. the lower GI tract....
God gave us both the Gosple & the law....U been hearin' alot of one kind of comments so I need 2 give U a chance 2 hear a new perspective...from a ADDICT THAT FALLS AND FALLS AND GOD KEEPS GETTIN' ME UP...KILLING N HIM DAILY,,,HOURLY...SOMETIMES MOMENT BY MOMENT....,I want U 2 B N His (The TRUE Savior's) Loving protective arms....I my have missed it..but I see U say U B a spionsor still...BUT...what about U...U better have a sponsor...or get 1 quick..or give the sponsorie's U have underwing...some advice that will save there life....DON'T GO 2 A SPONSOR THAT DOES NOT HAVE A GRAND SPONSOR...so...I M assuming U have a sponsor...good...the program has reasons behind the "Round the tables cents"...and...if your sponsorie don't C U goin' 2 mtg...welll...I know U know...
Graditude 4 the "poppoooo n our life"...I know I M crazy; but...if being n addict..n learning the ways of recovery.is the price I needed...and need 2 pay..2 have a closer relationship 2 Christ by way of recovery...well, not a too high of price 2 pay I say...SURRENDER...Most people don't get that.....If U get it...or at least want 2 get it...U will B given it...by the grace of GOD Himself...I hear some really cool stuff around the tables..& don't hear some stuff God blanks out 4 me...I hope He blanks out the parts of this comment that R not meant 4 your ears right now...but..He is havin' me type...& if this gets submitted...it will B God's will.
The talk around the table
Religion (some could ie it as "Going 2 church") is 4 the people afraid of goin' 2 hell
Spirituality is 4 those of us, that don't want 2 go back....
My way of thinking...the tables..the felloewship...God will put the right addicts n your life 2 boot U out of denial...That is the 1st step...U gotta want it...4 only yourself...if U B doin' it 4 someone other than the Holy Spirit inside U...it will not work..until the motivation changes....
a addict not in recovery definition of FEAR - F==> (Forsake) Everything and Run....
an addict in recovery surrendering to God...Just 4 2day.....FEAR FACE EVERYTHING...AND...RECOVER
RUNNING AWAY IS BAD....RUNNING INSIDE YOURSELF 2 FIND THE HOLY SPIRIT JESUS GAVE U 2000 YEARS B4 YOUR MASSIVE STROKE...THAT IS THE PRICELESS GIFE 4 THE FEES U PAY AS AN ADDICT...(My opinion...bargain 2 know and fully rely on God....each clean breath of life on this earth depends on it....(>: I WANT U 2 LIVE....N CHRIST !!!
IF THIS GOES..AND COMES BACK ON THE OTHER ELECTRONIC SIDE...IT WAS MEANT 2 B ..NOT JUST 4 DAVE...BUT SPECIFICALLY 4 THE ONE'S THAT RELATE SO THEY "SYMPATHIZE" INSTEAD OF EMPATHIZE....
BEWARE - THERE IS A V E R Y THINLINE BETWEEN A "CHRISTIAN" & "CO-DEPENDENT"
PLS PRAY ON THIS ONE..
SINCERELY...MY NAME IS JULIA...AND I'M AN ADDICT |
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| October 28, 2007 |
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THIS ISN'T A FUNNY GAME...WITH FUNNY "SIT-COMSssssss" VIEWERS COMMENTING FROM THE GALLOWS OF PART 1...2 GIVE ME MORE...(I just read part 1's 7 comments from "FRIENDS".....
THIS IS DAVE'S REAL LIFE...GOD KNOWS IT IS NOT A JOKE 2 B LAUGHED About...
MY USING "FRIENDS" LEFT ME 4 DEAD N A HAYLOFT WHEN I WAS 18...MY FRIENDS & I LAUGHT OUT LOUD MONDAY @ SCHOOL....THE WHITE AS A SHEET FACES THEY HAD & I WAS CLUELESS.UNTIL WE LAUGHED OVER THE STORY TOLD BY MY "FRIENDS"
I NOW KNOW...REAL FRIENDS TELL U THE HARD TRUTH...MY MOTTO....WE ADDICTS CAN NOT AFFORD 2 HAVE "NICE" FRIENDS...WE NEED "GOOD" FRIENDS THAT HELP US FIND THE PATH 2 RIGHTEOUSNESS N CHRIST...NO LAUGHIN' MATTER....MAYB THIS B HITTIN' ME 2 CLOSE 2 HOME....GUESS U HAVE HAD 2 WALK IN MY SOCKS FROM THE HAYLOFT 2 UNDERSTAND MY PASSION ON THIS 1
C ya....mayB |
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| October 28, 2007 |
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This is an honest post. Honesty and transparency is what helps our growth. I pray that you will grow in leaps and bounds...as people minister to you and give you insights from their own experiences. I've had some pretty horrid falls. Jesus has always been there...even when I thought He would not be. I never deserved it. I only deserved destruction...but I praise His Holy name. Keep walking ahead...with your eyes on the prize!
Biker Babe has some awesome advice too!
Forgiven |
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| October 28, 2007 |
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3:12 Not that I have already obtained, or am already made perfect: but I press on, if so be that I may lay hold on that for which also I was laid hold on by Christ Jesus. 3:13 Brethren, I could not myself yet to have laid hold: but one thing `I do', forgetting the things which are behind, and stretching forward to the things which are before,
I still have an NA sponsor but I am looking for more mature believers. I already know how to do drugs and I don't want to go back . I'm not introducing myself as an addict. I'll introduce myself as some one who's been set free by the blood of the lamb. My current NA sponsor don't agree with that, NA's basic text don't say that, but it's what I believe.
Dave |
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| October 30, 2007 |
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Dave, I appreciate your sharing about your testimony.I know how hard it is to open up and be so transparent. I personally am not quite there yet with all "my stuff". May Jesus continue to meet all your needs and desires. Blessiongs to you.
~Robin |
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| November 04, 2007 |
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| Hi,,,,my name is Julia...and I'm a sinner....Today is all saint's day N my neck of the woods...I M coming 2 grips with the fact that I can B both @ the same time....Harder 4 me 2 accept that the Holy Trinity concept...so...thanks 4 lovin' me as I M...really sincerely I say that....Dave....it use 2 really confuse me when I hear in AA, I need 2 put my recover B4 anything or anyone else...here I M N a church...AA meeting..and I say 2 myself...But...God is 1st N my life...I had to have alot of talks with God on this 1 till it was revealed that recovery only works when God is the focus, and power in my life...than everything else made sense..and I started 2 go 2 NA 4 me....so my God (4 me the Triune God), and I live it knowin' that together I B ok...and me runnin' away from Him 1st N my life (in recovery of my sin addiction)...I fall...fall...and fall....But He B there 2 pick me up..again..&..again..&...===> |
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