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| Suicide, Depression, and Heaven |
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A few years back, I was at the lowest point in my life. I had done some horrible things, and my husband and I were heading towards divorce. I was feeling pretty badly about myself, and my situation, and feeling as though I just couldn't keep going. I thought about suicide, and even had the pills saved up to take, so I could just go to sleep and not wake up.
Fortunately, God met me in my lowest point, and pulled me up out of the deepest pit I have ever been in, before or since. He made me aware of my mom, who would have been devastated if I had taken my own life, and of my cats, who needed me to care for them. Perhaps silly reasons for some, but God knew what I needed to hear when I was at my lowest point. He also gave me the love and the strength I needed to keep going.
That experience has given me a sensitivity to those who are depressed and/or considering suicide. I know the pain that people feel when they get to that point...the despair and hopelessness. There seems no way out of the fog that weighs you down. There is no hope. At least not to the eyes of someone whose thoughts are distorted by depression. There is only one hope, and that is Jesus. If we let Him, He will come into our souls and take over, and turn things around. But that doesn't always happen. Some people never let Jesus into their hearts even at their lowest point.
So what happens to those that commmit suicide? Do they go to hell? (Yes, I know some of you think there is no hell, so this is a moot point.) If a person is saved and chooses to commit suicide (yes Christians do get depressed), do they go to Heaven? How does God feel about those who commit suicide? I know He loves everyone no matter what, but how it must just break His heart to see so many hurting!!! And this world is a bunch of hurting humans, some who choose to end their lives because they feel they can't go on.
Do you know someone in your life, or perhaps you yourself, that is depressed? Feeling despair beyond hope, thinking of suicide? Perhaps the person hasn't communicated their thoughts, so you may not know that they are considering suicide. But if you can sense that they are depressed, beyond reason, get them help immediately! No person should get to the point of pulling the trigger or swallowing the pills. Twisted lives can be made straight with the help of a loving God. There is hope!!!
15:13 May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.
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Deb |
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October 27, 2007 at 9:37am |
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| Job, I thank God for His saving grace every day. I wouldn't be here if He hadn't stepped in and saved me. |
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As a pastor, I counsel people struggling with depression a lot. Some of those have thought of taking their own life. My heart goes out to people in this situation.
Included below is a biblical perspective of suicide that some might find helpful.
http://www.bible.com/bibleanswers_result.php?id=228
Blessings,
Pastor Tim |
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Deb |
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October 27, 2007 at 9:48am |
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| Pastor Tim, the link that you gave is a great one, thank you for including it. I think it is a beneficial reading for anyone who has dealt with the issue of suicide. I haven't read it all the way through, but will go do that now. What I did read ties in very well with this blog. Thanks. |
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Chrissy |
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October 27, 2007 at 10:43am |
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Hey, Deb! Someone very close to me has had to deal with a suicide in his family, and as a result for a long time was reluctant to believe in God for fear that the loved one went to hell. My reasoning is similar to yours. We don't really know what happens, but I have to believe that God is just and accounts for those who are not in their right mind. God bless you for reaching out. It is truly amazing how God uses our hurts, trials and pains to touch other lives for his Glory! God bless! Chrissy |
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Joey |
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October 27, 2007 at 1:33pm |
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| I needed to here all of this. Every single line. I really needed this to mend a part of my life that my siblings and I cannot speak of. Never, ever have I had the courage to ask anyone. I have always, always hoped that this was the answer. |
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Deb,
First let me say that I am so glad He reached in and pulled you out of that pit. Your words posted here over these past few months have blessed me richly and to not have known you through them would have been so sad. Thank you Jesus!
Second, I was always taught in church that if one committed suicide they would not be in heaven. However, when I started studying the Bible on my own, I couldn't come to that conclusion. I saw that we are all sinners saved only by His grace. We all make mistakes and one sin is no bigger, in God's eyes, than the others. His grace covers them all.
Third, when one is depressed sometimes it is the simple reminders that make all the difference. For me, it was sitting in the living room and having a little baby fall asleep in my arms. That was enough to make this warped man breakdown and cry and reach out to God to never, ever look back. So, it is critical that we encourage one another. We never know when that something little will make all the difference.
Great post Deb! |
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Denise |
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October 27, 2007 at 6:37pm |
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Deb, I am glad God was able to reach you. I wrote a song quit a few years back after I was saved,about when I was at my lowest point, not to the point of suicide but very low indeed, here is the chorus of that song.
Somewhere in the darkness, there was Jesus
His loving hands were reaching out to me
He gave my life a brand new meaning
He gave me hope, He gave His all
He's there to help me in the darkness when I fall.
He will never fail us we just have to turn to Him, I am thankful that I did, I probably would not be here today, had He not found me in the darkness. |
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Deb |
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October 27, 2007 at 6:51pm |
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Chrissy, one thing I have learned is that God intends all of our suffering to not only strengthen us, but to help others who might be facing the same situation. I know the main reason I didn't end up taking my life is because God came in and took over my heart, and He intended to use my pain to help others.
Jack, as always, you comments stretch my mind...that is a good thing. I have known people who have died without knowing Jesus...at least to my knowledge they did not...what happened in the process of their dying, or after they died, between them and God, I have no way of knowing for sure. But unlike you, I do believe there is a hell, and I do believe that some people don't "let" God take over their lives. I've seen people, and know people who do not have Jesus in their lives right now...they may someday come to a saving knowledge of Him, but they also might not. It all depends on what you believe I guess, but I do believe that some will not choose to accept God. He gave us the choice...some will choose not to accept what He offers.
DC, I agree that the little things can sometimes speak to us when we are in the fog of depression...my cats are a perfect example (I know, you don't like cats :) ). I too am glad that God reached into my darkest place and helped me up. Your words are such encouragement to me, and I enjoy hearing about you and your dog. Thank you for being here.
Denise, what a beautiful song that must be. The words that you have shared with us above...that is exactly what happened. If it had not been for Him, I wouldn't be here either. Thanks for sharing. |
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I know of two people personally in my church, who were given absolute signs in their eyes of where their loved ones went when they commited suicide (they were with the Lord). Some people will use that story of where the devil took Jesus up ontop of the building and told Him to jump down since it was written the angels would save Him. He said not to tempt the Lord. Well, to me this isn't suicide. Tempting the Lord is more like saying, "I am going to be totally senseless and stand in the middle of the road in rushhour traffic, and I need not worry because the Lord will save me." Saul commited suicide, and others in the OT, and it didn't say either way anything positive nor negative. And the women during the time of Moses, were going to kill themselves rather than be made into slaves and concubines for the enemy. BUT, I would never bet MY LIFE on it. Never. That isn't God's ideal for His people to throw in the towel and give up. HE should decide when. I almost did it as a teenager and adult (killed myself), but the fear of hell stopped me!!! I wasen't yet born again, though I "believed" in Jesus. What is sad is the number of Christians who are depressed...this shouldn't be. We need to cover them in prayer, and be supportive and fellowship. Jesus heals them, yes, but we are His hands and feet! We need to reach out! I can empathise too, and I am grateful that God saved you so that you could as well. Bless you. |
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Rosie |
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October 28, 2007 at 4:38am |
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| DEB I AM SO GLAD GOD SPOKE TO YOU BY WHAT EVER MEANS IT TOOK TO PULL YOU FROM YOUR DISPAIR BEFORE I CAME TO THE LORD MY HUSBAND HAD CAME TO ME AND ADMITTED TO HAVING NOT ONE BUT SEVERAL AFFAIRS SINCE WE GOT MARRIED...I DID THE ONLY THING I COULD THINK TO DO I GRABBED MY 357 AND SOME BULLETS AND HEADED OUT THE DOOR...THERE WAS ALOT OF MENTAL ABUSE FROM HIM IN THE PAST AND THIS WAS THE STRAW THAT BROKE THE CAMELS BACK I HAD THREE YOUNG BOYS BUT I DIDN'T CARE I COULDN'T LIVE WITH THIS CRAP ANY MORE SO I DROVE OUT INTO THE COUNTRY AND LOOKED FOR THE RIGHT PLACE TO END IT ALL. WOULDN'T YOU KNOW EVER SINGLE ROAD I TURNED ON THERE WAS EITHER A STATE TROOPER OR A COUNTY DEPUTY....OR TONS OF TRAFFIC THESE ARE ROADS I'D BEEN ON BEFORE AND USUALLY NO ONE WAS ON THEM....AS I DROVE THE LORD BEGAN TALKING TO ME AND MY MIND BEGAN TO CLEAR I DECIEDED HE SURE WASN'T WORTH ME DYING OVER AND WHAT WOULD THAT DO TO MY KIDS AND MY PARENTS....SO I WS SAVED THAT DAY FOR AND EARLY GRAVE.....I'D LIKE TO SAY THAT WAS THE LAST TIME I HAD THOUGHTS OF ENDING IT ALL BUT IT WASN'T I GAVE MY LIFE TO THE LORD AND THINGS WERE REALY WELL UNTIL THAT DAY MENOPAUSE SNUCK IN AND THE THOUGHTS BECAME OVER WHELMING AT TIMES I'D JUST PRAY THAT GOD HELP ME THROUGHT THE DAY AND HE GAVE ME A GRAND DAUGHTER THAT WANTS TO SEND HER EVERY WAKING MOMENT WITH ME SHE WAS THE ONE I WOKE UP FOR EVERY MORNING.....THANK GOD THOSE DAYS HAVE PASTED AND I TRUELY BELIEVE THAT CURSE HAS BEEN BROKEN OFF MY LIFE.... GOD HAS SO MUCH LEFT FOR ME TO DO I CAN'T GO ANYWHERE UNTIL HE DECIDES THE TIME AND THEN I STILL MAYBE TO BUSY...LOL |
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Deb |
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October 28, 2007 at 1:29pm |
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Lara, I am glad that you didn't go through with it, and you are still here to help the Lord reach out to others. Thank God for His Saving Grace!
Rosie, thank you so much for sharing this. Wow, I am so glad that you didn't go through with it. God was surely there with you and keeping you from pulling the trigger. Thank you Jesus!
Restore, I am glad that you are free. Depression is so horrible, and can cause so many bad things to happen. I am sorry to hear about all those in your husband's family that killed themselves. So sad. |
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Deb |
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October 28, 2007 at 1:49pm |
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| SweetMarie, thanks for your comments. I am glad that you found something to take away from this blog. Bless you. |
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Deb |
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October 28, 2007 at 5:29pm |
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| Abbas_daughter, indeed, He is Good! |
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I lost my brother Basil to suicide 5 years ago. I talked to him many times about the Lord and I know others have also.He spent time in jail because of some things he was acused of doing. The night he died I asked God why?and I came across a poem in my search online He Only Took My Hand on this site www.road2healing.com ( a great site for anyone dealing with grief) I feel it is God's message to me that he is okay. My brother told me he read the New Testament twice while in jail. This summer a student of mine took his own life and it has affected me more than my own brother. I now attend a suicide support group once a month not for myself as much as I want to support others that are dealing with this issue that affects so many people. |
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| Deb, I don't know how I missed this blog before. Thanks for sharing about your deliverance from depression and despair, there are so many people who need to hear this! |
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| Thank you for sharing. I was depressed and suicidal once. It was the furthest that I have ever been from God. I know though that through my experience and my return to God, that those who give in to the depression....those who commit the sin of suicide will never enter into the Kingdom of Heaven. It is because they lost thier trust in God...they lost the focus of the Love of Christ and purpose of His Death for our sins. Just like any sinner...they need to repent of thier ways and return to the Loving Arms of Christ...that will be the only way into the Kingdom of God. Through Christ...not death. ~Jeremy |
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Deb |
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January 06, 2008 at 11:39am |
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Herbie, first of all, I am sorry about your brother, and also about your student. How awful to have to deal with that, not once, but twice... I took a look at the website you included, and it looks like a good one for anyone who has had to deal with suicide or grief. I appreciate your including it. God bless you for helping others that are dealing with this issue. It is a tough one. I know because I was there, and I am just glad that God saved me before it was too late.
Mike, I don't know how you missed it either! lol But I am glad that you found it this time around.
Jeremy, I appreciate your thoughts. I guess I think of depression more as a sickness, than as a choice, or losing trust in God. I still believe in God and depend on Him for my daily survival, but I still get depressed from time to time. I would hope that because I consider it an illness, that if someone were depressed enough to commit suicide, that if they knew God in an intimate way, that He would save them, no matter how little they trusted Him. Hopefully they are wise enough to know that they are sinners, no matter what, depressed or not, and God does forgive them.
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Megan |
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March 04, 2008 at 12:32am |
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| I had decided to check into see what was new with you and your page, when I was lead to this page. I am glad that you had gotten through this and maybe I can too. |
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Deb |
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March 04, 2008 at 10:59am |
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| Megan, you can get through this. Suicide is nothing to take lightly...even the thought of it. Find someone you can trust to talk with, and share your burden with. And pray for strength from the One who provides it free of charge! |
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