JessIAm
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||November 02, 2007 at 10:41am|email it|1216 reads
 

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MaKelly
November 02, 2007 at 10:44am
AWESOME

NOW YOU HAVE TO REALLY SING IT SO I CAN HEAR YOU
JessIAm
November 02, 2007 at 10:47am

Thanks MaKelly,

I'm concerned the lyrics are a little dark.  What do you think? 

Ken
November 02, 2007 at 10:50am
Dark? Have you read Song of Solomon? It's reality, and what's more, it's your reality; there's nothing dark about it, Jess; it's beautiful.

~Ken
Ken
November 02, 2007 at 10:51am
Sorry, I meant Ecclesiastes, not Song of Solomon. :S
JessIAm
November 02, 2007 at 10:52am

Thanks Ken,

Ya, if Song of Solomon where too dark, I'd never want to get married ;D 

Don Swanger
November 02, 2007 at 10:58am
I don't think it's at all dark.  Just honest.  A heart cry, like David being brutally straight with himself and with God.  Something l see lacking in a lot of "Christian" songwriting.  Where's the reality of the Gospel's impact seen if we hide or deny the downside times when we are desperate for more of Him?  Excellent lyric Jess.
JessIAm
November 02, 2007 at 11:02am
Thanks MH and Don.
Lora
November 02, 2007 at 11:08am
I agree with the other comments.  I think it's like an honest-crying-out-to-God prayer :)
JessIAm
November 02, 2007 at 11:09am
Thanks Lora
mstovall2003
November 02, 2007 at 11:11am

I see a cry for help and the only one who can help is Abba....  We do need more honesty in our songs because it tells the whole truth.  This walk is not easy and every now and again we get bogged down.  People need to know and express this..

I love it
JessIAm
November 02, 2007 at 11:15am
Thanks mstovall.  I guess this will be in any first album I make.  I haven't heard a bad response yet.
JessIAm
November 02, 2007 at 11:22am

BTW, if you like it, please star this blog.

Thanks. 

Don Swanger
November 02, 2007 at 11:27am
sorry....forgot....here's yer star  (not to be confused with "here's your sign")
Deb
November 02, 2007 at 11:30am
Jess, you are very talented...this song is from the heart and tells of the difficulty you went through.  I think it is very good.
JessIAm
November 02, 2007 at 11:33am

Thanks Don and Deb.

I'm surprised.  The first time I sang this song a man in the group actually shouted "That's a praise song?".  The other people in the room had me finish the song.  Still, only one guy in the room (about 10 people total) even got what I was singing about. 

Dana
November 02, 2007 at 11:37am

God already know how we feel.  I think it is for our benefit and healing that we express what is in us.  There is something that happens when we release the words...the Lord moves.  I think the words are honest...that makes them beautiful. 

I remember once I told the Lord, "Where are you?   Why have you left me?"  I don't think he thought that was dark.  I think he was happy that I was opening up the place of pain and letting him in.  I laugh now and picture him thinking, "It's about time you face that...now I can move in and work.  Thank you baby girl!"  BTW, I logically know that the Lord didn't leave me...but my heart was crying out in pain.

JessIAm
November 02, 2007 at 11:43am

Thanks MH.  If you do play that for Bill Monroe, please make a video of his face ;)

Thanks Dana.  Very good points. 

apureheart
November 02, 2007 at 11:44am
I love this.

Simple but complex.

Honest.

I like how you put it together.

I look at me. And elaborate.

I look at You. And elaborate.

And then being led to a place, Him.

Like the use of Promised Land.

Liked the use of broken twice in first "stanza". Broken and can't fix.

Love using Speed Your healing instead of send your healing.

Liked using the thought of being like You twice in second "stanza".

Oh Father please sounds like the cry of your heart not a line in a christian song.

I agree with Don, this level of honesty and how you have exposed your heart is refreshing.
 
There is only one thing you can do to mess-up this beautiful song. If you "put it out there" for the professionals and wannabes to look at they will pick it apart. This song is kind of like the two pennies a widow put into an offering at the temple. In it you gave everything. Jesus notices and us common people hear you gladly.

.....peace.....
JessIAm
November 02, 2007 at 11:47am
Wow!  Thanks APureHeart.  I'm speachless (well, typeless, I guess).
Lara Leger
November 02, 2007 at 11:50am
Like my little boy would say, "WOW!"  Awesome words, and most of us can relate at some point...I had goosebumps reading the first part...and it ain't just the cold concrete floors down here, either! lol  You are gifted, my friend. It's amazing how, in some of the darkest moments of our soul, the creative juices just flow rivers.
JessIAm
November 02, 2007 at 11:55am
Thanks Lara.  Your right, it seems like Pain + God's Healing = Meaningful Expression.
JessIAm
November 02, 2007 at 11:56am
Thanks MH.  I have to admit I'm a wannabee, though - I wanna be done with recording this stuff!  God didn't make me a very self organized person.
Dana
November 02, 2007 at 11:57am

"Speed your healing..."  Hang on to the process.  I think if he did it all at one time, it would literally kill us.  Through the process is where we learn.  I know this was a long time ago...just a thought!
JessIAm
November 02, 2007 at 12:01pm
Well, Dana, I agree - I am in 12 step.  There's the will to change, and the reality of changing.  The will allows the reality, and seeing the reality happen to others is what inspires the will.  Of course, God makes both possible.
Denise
November 02, 2007 at 12:01pm
This is a beautiful song JessIAm
Not to dark, like it seems everyone has said it is honest. I really like Pain + God's Healing = Meaningful Expression  that is a beautiful way to put it.

Blessings to you
JessIAm
November 02, 2007 at 12:03pm
Thanks Denise.  I guess my math degree became useful after all!
Denise
November 02, 2007 at 12:30pm
I'll say it did!!!!! :-)
apureheart
November 02, 2007 at 12:33pm
You're right MH Guitarist. That statement, "professionals and wannabees" was too generic. I apologize for those words. I certainly was not referring to the servants of the Lord like yourself who minister professionally.

Those words came from personal experiences on a christian songwriting site. I perhaps can explain best by using an example.

In this prison that I've built
With bars of pride and walls of guilt
In my strength there is no key
But in my GOD I am set free

I was criticized for using the words set free. Too cliche'. To a person who has done jail time, been in the bondage of drugs and violence, had a depraved mind, there was nothing " cliche' " about being set free. Miracles are never cliche'. 

It was from this mindset I wrote to Jess. Again, MH, I'm sorry for using words that hurt you. I guess Jess ain't the only one with broken pieces and don't know how to mend them. 

And MH, thanks for making me accountable.

.....peace.....
JessIAm
November 02, 2007 at 12:37pm
"Too cliche'?"  Some of the songs I hear, have a lot of words but no real meaning.  Your words say something.
JayKTX
November 02, 2007 at 12:52pm

I would only call something dark if it had no hope or faith in it.Your song reminds me of a psalm, crying out to God, taking refuge in Him, magnifying him in the midst of your pain. I think your honest heart-cry to God is very well done and pleasing to him. You are positioning yourself for redemption:

Ps. 147:3 He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.

It's unfortunate you had a negative reaction your first time out with it. Many (most ?) people are uncomfortable with gut-level honesty. But God isn't happy with anything less than that. He invites us to come before him and "tell it like it is."

Ps. 142:2 I pour out my complaint before Him; Before Him I tell my trouble.

JessIAm
November 02, 2007 at 12:56pm
Thanks Jay.  Your right, God loves honesty.
Michael
November 02, 2007 at 2:36pm

There is little I can add to what has already been said, except that GOD accepts all heartfelt offerings with gladness. apureheart said it so eloquently.  When we come to GOD with a broken heart is when he can FINALLY start to work in our lives. I'd love to hear it to music :D

May GOD Bless all you do for HIS Glory

JessIAm
November 02, 2007 at 4:02pm
Thanks Michael.
Valya
November 02, 2007 at 4:35pm

..."That's a praise song?"...

 No, I think it's not. I think it's a worship song! Thank you for sharing your heart, Jess! It's beautiful! :)

JessIAm
November 02, 2007 at 4:36pm
Thanks Valya.  How would you describe the difference between a worship song and a praise song?
Valya
November 02, 2007 at 5:14pm

Well, a praise, to me personally, is something like "You are awesome! You are mighty! You are the King of Kings!" - basically, celebrating God, often as a church (old-time hymns).

A worship song, as I see it, is a time for us to bow down, get on our knees, and have a personal talk with God, when no one else can hear. It's like a prayer put on music :) I consider most of the "sad" songs, with distinct minor chords, to be worship.

Just the way I am used to define these :) 

Cheryl from Ga
November 02, 2007 at 6:13pm
I love the lyrics and I believe we should all be praying to God to make us like Him. 
Ragland
November 02, 2007 at 6:42pm
Yes Jess. The words are perfect and the Lyrics are meaningful. I agree completely with the rest of my brothers and sisters here.
Mi Cancion
November 02, 2007 at 8:34pm
Thank you so much for sending me a link to your song. Your song has such beautiful words.... definitely a cry from the heart. I can only imagine the melody. I bet it's just a pretty. God bless ya brother!
Sue
November 02, 2007 at 10:10pm
I have two words for you Bro....."Album Worthy!"
Pastor Tim
November 03, 2007 at 3:46am
God does so much in our greatest time of need as we seek Him. God birthed in you a wonderful song in your personal dark night of the soul. I was blessed.
JessIAm
November 03, 2007 at 9:41am
Thanks Everybody.  I'm actually tearing up.
JessIAm
November 05, 2007 at 8:09am
I've never understood the need for polished music.  To a point, it makes sense, but beyond that point, I don't see how it adds much.  For that matter, do the people who want polished songs ever listen to Dylan?
Valerie Williams
November 05, 2007 at 12:46pm
It is a sweet request made out of darkness and most of the best songs come from just such a place read more of Davids Psalms
1:1 Blessed [is] the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful. 1:2 But his delight [is] in the law of the LORD; and in his law doth he meditate day and night. 1:3 And he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that bringeth forth his fruit in his season; his leaf also shall not wither; and whatsoever he doeth shall prosper. 1:4 The ungodly [are] not so: but [are] like the chaff which the wind driveth away. 1:5 Therefore the ungodly shall not stand in the judgment, nor sinners in the congregation of the righteous. 1:6 For the LORD knoweth the way of the righteous: but the way of the ungodly shall perish. 2:1 Why do the heathen rage, and the people imagine a vain thing? 2:2 The kings of the earth set themselves, and the rulers take counsel together, against the LORD, and against his anointed, [saying], 2:3 Let us break their bands asunder, and cast away their cords from us. 2:4 He that sitteth in the heavens shall laugh: the Lord shall have them in derision. 2:5 Then shall he speak unto them in his wrath, and vex them in his sore displeasure. 2:6 Yet have I set my king upon my holy hill of Zion. 2:7 I will declare the decree: the LORD hath said unto me, Thou [art] my Son; this day have I begotten thee. 2:8 Ask of me, and I shall give [thee] the heathen [for] thine inheritance, and the uttermost parts of the earth [for] thy possession. 2:9 Thou shalt break them with a rod of iron; thou shalt dash them in pieces like a potter's vessel. 2:10 Be wise now therefore, O ye kings: be instructed, ye judges of the earth. 2:11 Serve the LORD with fear, and rejoice with trembling. 2:12 Kiss the Son, lest he be angry, and ye perish [from] the way, when his wrath is kindled but a little. Blessed [are] all they that put their trust in him. 3:1 + 3:2 \3:1\ LORD, how are they increased that trouble me! many [are] they that rise up against me. 3:3 \3:2\Many [there be] which say of my soul, [There is] no help for him in God. Selah. 3:4 \3:3\But thou, O LORD, [art] a shield for me; my glory, and the lifter up of mine head. 3:5 \3:4\I cried unto the LORD with my voice, and he heard me out of his holy hill. Selah. 3:6 \3:5\I laid me down and slept; I awaked; for the LORD sustained me. 3:7 \3:6\I will not be afraid of ten thousands of people, that have set [themselves] against me round about. 3:8 \3:7\Arise, O LORD; save me, O my God: for thou hast smitten all mine enemies [upon] the cheek bone; thou hast broken the teeth of the ungodly. 3:9 \3:8\Salvation [belongeth] unto the LORD: thy blessing [is] upon thy people. Selah. 4:1 + 4:2 \4:1\ Hear me when I call, O God of my righteousness: thou hast enlarged me [when I was] in distress; have mercy upon me, and hear my prayer. 4:3 \4:2\O ye sons of men, how long [will ye turn] my glory into shame? [how long] will ye love vanity, [and] seek after leasing? Selah. 4:4 \4:3\But know that the LORD hath set apart him that is godly for himself: the LORD will hear when I call unto him. 4:5 \4:4\Stand in awe, and sin not: commune with your own heart upon your bed, and be still. Selah. 4:6 \4:5\Offer the sacrifices of righteousness, and put your trust in the LORD. 4:7 \4:6\[There be] many that say, Who will shew us [any] good? LORD, lift thou up the light of thy countenance upon us. 4:8 \4:7\Thou hast put gladness in my heart, more than in the time [that] their corn and their wine increased. 4:9 \4:8\I will both lay me down in peace, and sleep: for thou, LORD, only makest me dwell in safety. 5:1 + 5:2 \5:1\ Give ear to my words, O LORD, consider my meditation. 5:3 \5:2\Hearken unto the voice of my cry, my King, and my God: for unto thee will I pray. 5:4 \5:3\My voice shalt thou hear in the morning, O LORD; in the morning will I direct [my prayer] unto thee, and will look up. 5:5 \5:4\For thou [art] not a God that hath pleasure in wickedness: neither shall evil dwell with thee. 5:6 \5:5\The foolish shall not stand in thy sight: thou hatest all workers of iniquity. 5:7 \5:6\Thou shalt destroy them that speak leasing: the LORD will abhor the bloody and deceitful man. 5:8 \5:7\But as for me, I will come [into] thy house in the multitude of thy mercy: [and] in thy fear will I worship toward thy holy temple. 5:9 \5:8\Lead me, O LORD, in thy righteousness because of mine enemies; make thy way straight before my face. 5:10 \5:9\For [there is] no faithfulness in their mouth; their inward part [is] very wickedness; their throat [is] an open sepulchre; they flatter with their tongue. 5:11 \5:10\Destroy thou them, O God; let them fall by their own counsels; cast them out in the multitude of their transgressions; for they have rebelled against thee. 5:12 \5:11\But let all those that put their trust in thee rejoice: let them ever shout for joy, because thou defendest them: let them also that love thy name be joyful in thee. 5:13 \5:12\For thou, LORD, wilt bless the righteous; with favour wilt thou compass him as [with] a shield. 6:1 + 6:2 \6:1\ O LORD, rebuke me not in thine anger, neither chasten me in thy hot displeasure. 6:3 \6:2\Have mercy upon me, O LORD; for I [am] weak: O LORD, heal me; for my bones are vexed. 6:4 \6:3\My soul is also sore vexed: but thou, O LORD, how long? 6:5 \6:4\Return, O LORD, deliver my soul: oh save me for thy mercies' sake. 6:6 \6:5\For in death [there is] no remembrance of thee: in the grave who shall give thee thanks? 6:7 \6:6\I am weary with my groaning; all the night make I my bed to swim; I water my couch with my tears. 6:8 \6:7\Mine eye is consumed because of grief; it waxeth old because of all mine enemies. 6:9 \6:8\Depart from me, all ye workers of iniquity; for the LORD hath heard the voice of my weeping. 6:10 \6:9\The LORD hath heard my supplication; the LORD will receive my prayer. 6:11 \6:10\Let all mine enemies be ashamed and sore vexed: let them return [and] be ashamed suddenly. 7:1 +

JessIAm
November 05, 2007 at 1:11pm
Thanks Valerie.  It's true, David was pretty depressed at times.  I love how God is so big - He can take any mood I throw at Him.
J Chyll
November 05, 2007 at 1:22pm
ya gotta come to Polk County so we can record together or something do a little "collabo" thang you know?!?!
JessIAm
November 05, 2007 at 1:26pm
WOW!  OK, J.  When God leads me into a music for a living, we'll do that. 
Surely Shirley
November 13, 2007 at 9:37pm
It was very moving!! When I've been discouraged or frustrated with my failure to produce anything worthwhile aside from Him I want a song that relates  but also allows me to cry out to the only one who can make a difference. Apureheart said it all so much better than I could so I say ditto to what they said.

This is one reason I love to listen to "Enter the Worship Circle" with songs like. "Since I Am So Sick" and "You have Redeemed My Soul (from the pit of emptiness)" Now there are some songs some might say have dark undertones but they are real and minister when one feels that way and needs to express it to the Lord. Anyway I would like to hear your album when you finish it or when you get a link with the music. The lyrics are meaningful themselves without the music. Thanks for sharing.
JessIAm
November 14, 2007 at 8:14am
Thanks Shirley.  That's true, sometimes we need to cry as we come to Him.
suzanne
November 14, 2007 at 9:01am
Hi, Jess.  I'm going through a wilderness time.  God's promised me some awesome things, but I've been afraid of my messing up has messed up some of those dreams.  I don't know.  But your blog encouraged me that there's still a Promised Land waiting for me and all believers.  He's been encouraging me to not give up.
JessIAm
November 14, 2007 at 9:33am

Howdy Suzanne,

I'm being a typical guy, because I want to type "I'm glad the lyrics could help", but I'm actually tearing up a little.

Thanks for letting me know how the lyrics are helpful.  I really means a lot to me. 

Prudence
November 14, 2007 at 12:35pm

It's beautiful, Jess. I can feel the pain and the cry of your heart.  Awesome, awesome, awesome!  I want to hear it when you put it to music!
Blessings!

Lourdes
November 15, 2007 at 1:33pm
I can tell by reading most of your blogs that you use songs to say what you heart wants to say.  I think is beautiful and it is a great way of having a catharsis/healing.

Keep writing... we'll keep reading ;-)
JessIAm
November 15, 2007 at 1:34pm

Thanks Prue and Laurdes,

It's funny, I hadn't realized I wanted to say so much. 

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