Written by Aaron Carriere

This article is courtesy of Christian Single magazine.

I’ve worked hard to arrive at the welcome mat of the “American Dream.” I’ve been measured, constructively criticized, and forcefully goal-oriented ever since learning to write my z’s in cursive. I’m supposed to plan out my life for the next 30 years, climb metaphoric ladders, invest in a 401(k), and accumulate vacation days.

But the thing is, I recently encountered a quarter-life crisis that made me rethink my tight, mapped-out future. Work just wasn’t fulfilling.

While reflecting on my dissatisfaction, God showed me something I knew but hadn’t acknowledged: I was finding my identity through the approval of others. I lived my life over-analyzing the day-to-day: Am I good at my job? Am I satisfied with my church community? Do I have enough friends?

I had to recognize this sickness, this pressure to prove my worth, after I received a job offer I wasn’t expecting – it offered money, power, and status. Three weeks later, the position was taken away. My ego was crushed. But I was forced to face my striving. The problem wasn’t the job; it was my motive. At a time in my life when I was supposed to be living the “best days of my life,” I was tired and cynical.

Even with my daily coffee injections, a new expensive mattress, and honoring the weekly Sabbath with a few hours of my time, I was still uneasy. Imprisoned by anxiety, I was the product of a culture that demands results and then demands more.

My fuel in high school had been the quarterly all-A report card that sealed my parents’ approval. This prompted me to study pharmacy as a college freshman, based solely on their advice. (I hate science, by the way.)

Academic excellence continued to define my college days in the classroom. I was overly obsessed with GPA, with perfection, with being right.

After a socially isolated freshman year, I found acceptance by morphing into something that insulted my core values. My drive became playing the college “party guy” role. I maintained a self-destructive lifestyle while projecting an image of perfection to the outside world. My insides were corroding. I was empty.

I crawled back to God. He answered.

Still, my senior year was driven by prestige and a newfound religious piety. I landed a high-profile job as the editor of the college newspaper, where everyone was watching, critiquing, and often praising. While I started to relearn who Jesus was, the striving didn’t stop, though. It only accelerated.

My post-college fuel became the drive for success and importance. It kept me working long hours. It also persuaded me to rent a house in an affluent neighborhood, living beyond my means.

The drive to be somebody, to answer the question “Do I have what it takes?” was making me crazy.

I eventually realized that I was a card-carrying member of a demographic dubbed the
“entitlement generation.” I’ve been taught that once I accomplish something, I am automatically entitled to the benefits, whether it be a great job, a perfect spouse, or a large home in suburbia.

With no place to go, I finally turned to the teaching Jesus gave to a large crowd after first anointing His disciples: “But it’s trouble ahead if you think you have it made. And it’s trouble ahead if you’re satisfied with yourself. Your self will not satisfy you for long. … There’s trouble ahead when you live only for the approval of others, saying what flatters them, doing what indulges them. Popularity contests are not truth contests. … Your task is to be true, not popular” (Luke 6:24-26, The Message).

When I read that passage, I heard Jesus whisper, “Just be” in my soul. When I “just am,” I will become more of the being God intended me to be. When I fully embrace my qualities, gifts, and limitations, I will be both fully alive and fully effective.

Since then, I’ve been learning to seek God for affirmation and to realign my focus on Him. I will only grow tired following this world.

So may the generation of “entitlement” chase after God with all of our hearts, minds, and souls. And may we pursue what’s truly important – the matters of the soul – and just be.

Aaron Carriere is a preacher's kid who was reinvigorated by Jesus after discovering freedom. He co-founded a video-based company called Creo Productions (creoproductions.com).

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