| My Grandmother's Blanket -and- Feeling Alone |
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As some of you know, my grandmother passed away this past Wednesday. Her funeral was today (Friday). I have not seen my grandmother much over the past few years, as she has lived out of town.
Christmas before last, I made all of my family fleece blankets -- nothing fancy -- just fleece that I fringed and then personalized them by embroidering something in the corner. Her's was pink and I embroidered "#1 Great Grandmother". I did not see her that Christmas, but my mom told me she loved it.
This past year, she has been very sick and in and out of the hospital. She always insisted on bringing that blanket with her - and she tells everyone (family, friends, nurses, etc.) that I made it for her.
In her last days, she always had the blanket with her, and her family (my aunt, mother, etc.) decided to put the blanket with her in the coffin. While we all know she is not really in that coffin - she has gone on to be with Jesus -- it was still very special that they did that.
I've never been quite so touched by something as I was that. As I said, I have not been as close to my grandmother the past 20 years as I was as a child, but I loved her very much. She has suffered so much the past year especially, that it is a praise that she has finally gone home to Jesus.
The funeral was nice. Timothy did well, which is a huge praise!! He is very confused about death now, but in time, I hope to clear up some of his confusion -- right now he thinks people die from smelling the flowers at the cemetery -- ahhhh the mind of a 4 year old!
One thing that surprised me about myself was that for the first time in 2.5 years, I felt alone -- and I missed having a husband. Oh, I've been alone for 2.5 years -- and at times, I've missed having help with the children or missed having that constant companion, but my general opinion of men could be summed up in three words, "Men are pigs!". I'm not sure if that's just from all the emotions surrounding my grandmother's death or if it's more about my divorce being final - or even a combination of both. Regardless, it was very sad...... |
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