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I am a top contender in the battle of putting way too much pressure on myself. I'd do something for the first time and become a miserable wreck because I "couldn't" do it, or didn't do it "perfect". I was always trying to be someone else. I am a natural born introvert and I want to be an extrovert. I don't communicate well with spoken words, and I always try to force myself to do it with speech. I sometimes get irritated with people while driving and I beat myself up for it. (I'm a former road rager) If I did something for someone, big or small, I wouldn't be satisfied with it. i always wanted to do more and more, and never fully appreciated what I was doing. I wasn't doing it with my heart so it wasn't enough.
I have a history of relationships with people who put pressure on me to "make" me feel I was never doing enough. The past week I have essentially been "taking care" of 3 houses. I'm housesitting for a friend, feeding her dogs & fish, checking mail, etc, my job where I cook, clean and drive for someone who can't do it for himself and of course home. Well I haven't really been home much, but I stop by and do little things here and there. Today was garbage day. Anyway, in the past, I would have been 110% overwhelmed. I would have wanted to be in three places in one, pratically scrubbing the floors with a toothbrush. but with God comes love, which brings peace, contentment and satisfaction. I'm not Mother Theresa, I'm not saving 100 souls a day, but I am doing something I've never been able to do before: to do what I do best, and do it with a cheerful heart. It's not huge in "the world", but I know it makes God smile. It is the small things in life that are most important.
God has given me a lot of spiritual gifts. Service, Mercy, Giving, Writing (?), Research, and the scariest one to me--intercessor (prayer). Are these not wonderful gifts? We are all given different gifts, part of the same body. Each part is equally essential to another.
14Now the body is not made up of one part but of many. 15If the foot should say, "Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body," it would not for that reason cease to be part of the body. 16And if the ear should say, "Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body," it would not for that reason cease to be part of the body. 17If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be? 18But in fact God has arranged the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be. 19If they were all one part, where would the body be? 20As it is, there are many parts, but one body.
Pressure that we feel weighing down on our chest is NOT of God. Yes, He strives for us to go deeper with Him, His Word and His will for us, but for us to say "I'm not good enough", "There's nothing I can do", is all negative and NOT from God. I know the moments I feel God calling me to do something, there is a jitter in my heart but it was one of joy and anxious enjoyment. Pressure is from the enemy, from us and a lot of the times other people. I know i have a history of people in my life who were always trying to either change me or I was trying to change them.
First commandment above all:
5 Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. Love Him and all the beautiful gifts He has put inside in EACH and every one of us! |
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| Wow. I was just reading Pastor Ron's new book today and I was reading page 30-31, where he has 1 Corinthians 12:14-18, 20-27 and I really felt like I was supposed to read that today and now I find it again here. Thanks Jessica! Now I know I need to go and chew on that some more. |
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| Stacy
Chew the cud girl chew the cud!
Jessi,
Thanks for Sharing my love!
Love Ya! |
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Jessica |
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November 06, 2007 at 4:28am |
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| Aww Stacy that's awesome, God's telling you how important you are and how much He loves you! Soak it in! :) |
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