I was just thinking that throughout my life, as I've reached certain milestones, I've inadvertently joined various "clubs".  Before I was married, the singles club, after Dan and I were married, the DINKs, and after Caity was born I joined the Mommy club.  And now that we have 5 girls, and homeschool, I'm part of the "Are you absolutely insane???" club, which I'm thrilled to say has many members and is growing all the time (no pun intended).    When I became a Christian, I joined that "club", though much more than a club in the spiritual sense of the word, I had to learn the language, and am still endeavoring to learn  and study the Word on a daily basis. 

     But, this past September I joined a secret society that I never knew of, and if I did on some unconscious level, I never wanted to join.  It's the "My baby died" club, and I learned that it has many members that I never would have guessed.  You see, after Callum died I felt such intense pain and grief, grief that you can't know unless you've traveled that road, and yet God was and is so very present and faithful it's unreal.  As the weeks passed, after Callum's death, everyone was sorry, and kind, but it was these women that had the courage to bring up their own pain, all over again, and share with me and cry with me, to assure me that God remains faithfull,  and there is abundant life on the other side of the gaping chasm of grief.  Those women, were the only ones who really knew what it felt like, to have my mother's heart ache because we would never see his first steps, or his first baseball game, or watch him grow up.  These women reminded me what a privilige it was to have been this little boy's Mummy, if only for such a short time, and no matter what, God is who He says He is, and that never changes.