Prov 18:24 A man who has many friends does it to his own destruction but there is a friend that sticks closer than a brother. “It is not the multitude of so called friends that helps us. They may only embarrass and perplex. What we prize is the one whose love is stronger and purer even than all ties of kindred.” (Barnes)  In my life I have always come across as a socialite…center of attention.  Ask anyone I have grown up with and they will testify that in any crowd I have always been a recognizable voice.  Why?  Truth be told it has always been my way of keeping people at arms distance.  I don’t know where I picked up the trait but I figured out as a child that if I control what people perceive me as, I have the best defense of all.  So I have always been “alone in a crowd.” 

The fact is I also learned that people will stab you in the back while they smile to your face.  Nothing has been more true since becoming part of the “body” …while a human has only two hands, eyes, ears, etc I have found that God’s body has many hind-ends…so to speak and many more mouths and hands to hold weapons with millions of fingers to point.  Why all this rhetoric?  Well…as good as I have learned to hold people at bay, I also have been blessed to experience true friendship with certain people who are willing to look past the “front” I put up and choose to be around me without caring what benefits I will be able to offer them.  Those people I call my friends. 

I don’t know if my definition is correct, but to me a friend is NOT a person you necessarily have some common trait with.  A friend is not someone you have to see on a regular basis or else the friendship might fade.  A friend never keeps track of how many times whoever gets the tab…always expects to pay for him (or her)self.  A friend is someone you choose to become close to for no physical touchable characteristic except for knowing that this is a person you wish to spend the rest of your life enjoying every moment time or technology allows you to spend with.  A friend is someone you may not have seen in years but will drop all to meet a need if able and will understand if you can’t.  I am fortunate to have friends like that…few and far between but they are there. 

I love my family.  My brothers (and sister) have a bond that cannot be broken (blood) so anything I say should not deter that.  I think God gives us brothers and sisters to teach us how to appreciate and love people we might not choose ourselves so that when we become of age we can have healthy relationships.   Don’t get me wrong, I would definitely change nothing about my brothers and sister…but I remember as a preteen thinking differently (being honest).  We had to learn how to appreciate each other’s differences and still are sometimes…and the stronger one always had less appreciating to do. 

I hold my friends in a special light because they are people I have chosen to invite into that same bond.  My family and I are tight…but we can find ourselves in the middle of a nuclear explosion with no warning…and when everything settles…we all love each other.  You see we fight because we have nowhere to go…we are family…conflict is certain…it is what happens when two people going the same direction have opposing opinions…if I don’t care for someone, they can get their own road.  True friends should also expect conflict…and should survive it. 

Maybe it’s me, but I have no friends that I don’t consider family.  You tell me the bigger act of love…those who offer love to only their blood, or those who choose to open that to outsiders.  I am honored to have a few friends who have chosen me…and for those who are choosing me…I am overwhelmed.