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| Released from prison! |
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I spent the last 90 minutes finally writing a blog, and taking the time to type out a section of writing I found tonight going through my closet. I found a folder with old writings - poems, songs, stories, a memoir... I typed out excerpts from the preface of my memoir. And my computer froze up. It's gone. I don't have it saved anywhere, and I'm not going to re-type it. I will instead spare you the details and summarize. The preface is an over-intellectualized look at who I used to be. I started a memoir when I was 17 or 18, and got through nearly 100 pages before abandoning it. What I was getting to in my conclusion before the computer froze was a verse from Isaiah:
61:1 The Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon me, because the LORD has anointed me to bring good tidings to the afflicted; he has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to those who are bound;
I was trying not to stay angry about the fact that I lost 90 minutes worth of typing, and then it struck me: the memoir itself was not what God wants me to write here tonight. I needed to read it to gain some perspective and hear what God's telling me. My memoir talked about upholding an image of perfection while burying everything else... "I stuck a smile on my face and held a laugh in my chest just in case I needed it to convince them. But underneath the veil of a perfect girl, I was falling apart. Behind all of the perfection cowered a scared five-year-old child, wishing she would just stop crying, or that someone would notice her tears. The veil became a hardened mask, layered and firm, from which cries could never be heard or seen."
I still relate to the person I was when I wrote those words 5 years ago, but she is NOT me anymore. Thanks be to God for setting the captives free - even from our own self-created prisons! I realized that God is still setting me free from things in my life, and has released me from the bondage of my former life. Is He doing that for you in your life right now?
What about binding up the brokenhearted and bringing good news to the afflicted? He did that in a huge way for me 2 weeks ago tonight, and I didn't even realize I was so brokenhearted! Today makes the 14th night I will be without medication I've been on for YEARS. God healed things in my mind and in my heart that I have struggled with for so long that I'd come to believe that I was just created to be that way. Is He doing that for you in your life right now?
5:1 Therefore, since we are justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. 5:2 Through him we have obtained access to this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in our hope of sharing the glory of God. 5:3 More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, 5:4 and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, 5:5 and hope does not disappoint us, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit which has been given to us. 5:6 While we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. 5:7 Why, one will hardly die for a righteous man--though perhaps for a good man one will dare even to die. 5:8 But God shows his love for us in that while we were yet sinners Christ died for us. 5:9 Since, therefore, we are now justified by his blood, much more shall we be saved by him from the wrath of God. 5:10 For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, now that we are reconciled, shall we be saved by his life. 5:11 Not only so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received our reconciliation.
God did not create us for turmoil or bondage. He wants to give us His peace and wants us to be reconciled to Him - no masks. He wants to restore our faith and give us hope. Having "faith [in Him] makes all things possible - not easy."
Amen.
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| To add a comment to "Released from prison!" |
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| November 18, 2007 |
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| Thanks for boasting about God's strength in your weakness. |
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| November 18, 2007 |
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| Wow!!! What a great passage from Romans ;-) Thanks for blogging! My Ky jones is over! Until next time beautiful! |
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| November 20, 2007 |
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Haha, I thought you'd like that passage Cheryl! God keeps pointing me back to that one over and over again lately... maybe it's time I really pick that one apart and pray about it. Glad to satisfy your Ky jones! :-p |
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| November 21, 2007 |
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Ok so i've been sitting here trying to explain the way this blog has touched me and I just keep getting all tounge tied so i'm just gonna say that I love it, it's beautiful. With a few things i've been struggling with lately this has really helped. Thanx. |
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| November 21, 2007 |
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| What a great way to summarize the events leading up to today - released from prison. Thanks for sharing, Kyleen. It's a great story and has tremendous meaning. |
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| November 22, 2007 |
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Kyleen once again I come away from your writing feeling as though I have found something and gotton closer...to something.
Thanking you seems too little - but really thanks are what are due. You share so much so honestly and really show something different in faith that I have never experienced.
"released from prison" - it really captures it...
*love to you* |
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| November 23, 2007 |
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Thanks Wendy... :) I know you will gain knowledge and wisdom from your struggles.
Gene - Thank you for always offering encouragement.
Ritzi - I have so much to write you about... hopefully tomorrow will be the night I get to write it all out for you. I'm glad you're moving closer to "something"... and that this "something" is GOD, whether you know that yet or not. My God is one of freedom and healing - and He wants that for you, too. Love you honey. |
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| January 20, 2009 |
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| Hello Kyleen, more than a year has passed since you wrote these words yet they still have much meaning today as God continues to shape and mold His children. Sometimes He surprises me and sets me free from something I knew not that it held me, thanks for the post, ~Teral |
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| January 23, 2009 |
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| That's the beauty of God - He is relevant ALL THE TIME. His promises are ALWAYS true. Way cool. :) Take care Teral. |
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