The devil had me in his grips.  But Jesus came and rescued me--again!

I think I've been in the snares of the evil one.  I can probably even pin-point when I let him in.
My step-daughter (from my second marriage, he's deceased now) came to stay with us a few weeks ago.  I didn't realize it until a few days after she'd been here, then it hit me, I'd been angry since the days she got here. (for no real reason).  It dawned on me as we were sitting here talking.  I think I was talking about God.  She mentioned that she had practiced witchcraft.  But, it scared her bad.  So, now all she uses is this "shield of protection".  she said it was with her and her 2 daughters (ages 9 and 3).  This is the point I let in fear.
My thoughts were not of how to help her anymore, but rather What did she bring into my house!?!
From then on (during her stay) all I could think is, This is not good!  What demons are roaming around in here now?
I mentioned it to my daughter later and she reminded me that God is greater.  We talked for a while about witchcraft, spirits, faith in God.  I felt better.  But when she left, fear crept back in.
I eventually told my step-daughter she had to go home (with her grandmother and grandfather, who by the way denied her to stay there either, so she's back in another state with a friend).
I didn't really want her to stay here to begin with (I've been through this with here before) but being the person I am, I let her  in.  I was feeling like maybe God wanted me to help her.  Even my daughter Mandy said, "Because you're a good person, Mom"  when I vented my frustrations to her and asked her why I try to help her (my step-daughter)?
So with those words ringing in my ears for the next week, I tried hard to be this "good person" my lovely daughter decided to label me.  And feeling a failure in doing so, I could not take anymore and I told her she had to go home.  I asked God for forgiveness if I'd done the wrong thing.

When she left, I felt some relief, hoping if she'd brought in any bad spirits, that they'd left with her.  Don't get me wrong, I did pray for her, too.
But, I think I realize now, the spirit of fear did not leave me.
I began to question so many things.  And God's Word was my target.  Or rather the devil's target!

She's been gone a couple weeks now and since then I've studied and read and read and studied God's Word trying to find a flaw in it that would prove to me there is no God, and this whole world is just messed up!

I think some friends of mine on here (MyChurch) have helped me come to my senses.
One friend has been praying for me and keeps in touch.
Another friend prays too and helps me with questions I have from time to time.  My last question were "big" I guess and he only said they'd be better talked about one on one So, I've still been praying for God to show me the answer.  (I'll get to that later).
And a new friend said it sounds like fear is trying to bother me.  I knew right away he was exactly right!
He asked me a question that go me really thinking.  About salvation.  And am I involved in a local church?
So, I took my time to think about salvation, explained to him how I felt about it and explained my situation with church.  (Finding the right one and not knowing what to look for as I did not grow up in a christian family).

Anyway, as I said, this took some thinking.  What I truly believe in about God.  I'm looking to learn the whole truth, not bits and pieces.  Which made me realize what my heart wants and this idea I had of trying to prove the Bible wrong was all the work of the devil!  It's not that I wanted that but I let in fear and doubt because of circumstances and the devil saw and snagged up the chance to get hold of me.

And I'll admit, he had me good!  I didn't even know it til friends helped me search my heart!  And I don't mean to pin-point just a few friends,  I know there's more than that praying for me so I thank God for all of you.

My biggest question was If we are made in the likeness and image of God and this is what God wanted, then is God a sinner?

(I worded it different to my friend)

Today, I think that answer is quite simple.

Absolutely not!

We are like God, not God.
We are similar when we trust in Him and live the way He wants us to live.  But being sinners is why we are not the same as God.  It's sin that seperates us.  makes us different than God Himself.
I'll also add (that I didn't write down on my own paper here) that God is not tempted by the evil one either!

I thank God that He pulled me out of a pit once again and opened my eyes and heart.

I thank God for concerned, caring, loving and praying friends.

I thank God that He is forgiving.

I thank God that when I stray too far off, He reaches out and pulls me back!

I thank God that His Word is the Truth.

Love you all!  thank you for your prayers and your friendship.

This morning I got a phone call from a motel (or hotel- I never know the difference) that I was working for.  I worked for this place last year and quit because of their unsanitary ways of cleaning rooms.  Well, they changed their name and said they'd changed some other things this year, so I started working there again last week.  Long story short, no call from them to come back in to work until this morning.  I didn't go.  I won't get into everything wrong there but my family agrees I shouldn't work there.  Nothing has really changed but the name.  The same people own the place and they still do things the same (as far as cleaning goes).

Anyway, it got me thinking about a scripture when I thought, all that changed was the name, but they themselves did not change.  What good is that?

2 Corinthians 5:17
Therefore if any person is [ingrafted] in Christ (the Messiah) he is a new creation (a new creature altogether); the old [previous moral and spiritual condition] has passed away.  Behold, the fresh and new has come!  ---Amplified Bible

God furthered this for me and helped me find this also:

Put off the Old Man
Ephesians 4:22

Strip yourselves of your former nature [put off and discard your old unrenewed self] which characterized your previous manner of life and becomes corrupt through lusts and desires that spring from delusion;

(skip one, we'll come back to it)

Put on the New Man
Ephesians 4:24

And put on the new nature (the regenerate self) created in God's image, [Godlike] in true righteousness and holiness.

To do this; go from the old self to the new self, we go back to the verse in between which is the bridge.

Bridge
Ephesians 4:23

And be constantly renewed in the spirit of your mind [having a fresh mental and spiritual attitude],

(to further it, you can finish reading Ephesians 4:25-32.)


Again, I just thought about that place changing it's name and not it's ways.  What good is that?

Another thing God showed me today was this:
We are giving away (free) a sofa and a console T.V.  Both are still in very good condition.  We just need to make room for some other things.  We will even deliver them to the person who wants them.  A man was supposed to call this morning to get them.  He hasn't called.
You would think if something is free and very usable, you would jump at the chance and go get it.
God's salvation is like this.  It is free to us.  It's already been paid for by Jesus on the cross.  All we have to do is call on Him, ask and receive it.
How easy is that?  Yet some just won't take it.
He will even bring Himself into our lives if we just call on Him and say I'm ready to receive your gift.
Why is it some people will not just accept something as a gift?  Something free!  Something of good use!  Is it because we haven't seen it?  We know nothing or little about it? 

And as I was thinking and writing these things down to remember I heard my friend singing some words to a song from High School.  It went like this:

People oughta know who we are, shall we tell 'em.....
   We are the mounties, the mighty, mighty mounties.......

Again, I thought of God.  How He says to spread the Word.  The Good News! 
People should know.  So, tell them, we are children of God.  He loves us.  He sent His only Son to die for us.  For all our sins. 

I'm thankful God put these things in my heart and mind today.  Just wanted to share these things with you also.

Have a blessed day, ya' all!

Love ya,

Oh, and by the way.... the job.....I have another interview tomorrow morning at a better place.