"I am so afraid of that runway." she said to me as we were about to practice our routine."I feel like people are staring right through me and seeing everything I've ever done in my life."
Being the friend that I always to try to be I reminded her she was a MODEL "They just WISH they could be in your shoes."
"How do you do it...how can you pull it off and not seem nervous?" She asks.
Oh, if only she the mental warfare raging in my head at that moment...she might have been amused at the fight between my encouraging shoulder angel and the coaxing of evil from the shoulder devil. I smiled politely and said "They wouldn't have asked me to be here if they didn't have confidence in me. The same is true for you...they see that wildcat inside so just get up there and let her out."
After rolling our eyes and chuckling about that thought she nodded with agreement and took her place in line to walk the runway. Confidently she postured herself for the "The cat walk." After her routine I took my place in line and followed her performance with the same confidence and sassy flare. We both took a deep breath as we got in line for the next routine where this time we had to pivot, pull off the military stance, slate AND do a commercial. Let me give you some definitions before I continue with my story.
Pivot, basically it's a 180 degree turn on your heel.
Military, is a move made at the end of the run way where the model shifts they're weight from one hip to another then pivots and walks all the way to the other end of the run way.
Slate, is where an actor or actress gives their name and the company they're representing and the location of the company. This is usually done during a practice or try out on an acting job.
Scale, is the minimum wage the actor makes on any job. Generally your manager will fight for their actors and actresses to get paid more than "scale."
Commission, the percentage of money your manager makes for every job you get.
Scene, a small part played that is connected to many other parts or scenes to make up a play or movie when put together in proper order.
These are the most basic and most used terms in the performing arts world.
Now I shall continue with my story.
We pulled it off and now we just had to do our scenes. I had 2 of them. One was a courtship scene set in the era of old southern times when people drank sun brewed tea and cornbread was at every meal.
The second scene was the same era but, I played the daughter of a southern belle who prided herself in being a meek house wife.
Successfully we pulled it off! No one forgot their lines and my friend and I never skipped a beat in our routines.
We had done it! We graduated John Casablanca's modeling school and were now CERTIFIED.
It cracked me up though to see over half my classmates STILL be nervous of the stage or even the runway.
Truth is, it was not those physical, concrete objects that bothered them.
It was the abstract thought they allowed to filter in their minds. They were afraid of what PEOPLE would think if them.
I told one of them "The worst thing that could happen is you fall off the platform, bust your nose on someone's knee and then vomit out of sheer horror!....but, we will still love you."
Why did I think that would help? Well, first off the chances of that happening are only so good, they just as well get hit by lightening twice. Secondly, it was true we would still love them because their fall would have paved the way for us to look even better in the sight of the audience.
How conceited but true? They laughed at me and walked away. I don't know a whole lot about dealing with uncomfortable situations but, for me, laughter is the thing that gets me through. So I decided to spread the joy of laughter. I told jokes and teased and made up goofy sayings because I wanted my classmates to laugh and get over the nerves. If I had really had time talk to my friend about my ability to be confident I don't know if she could have understood it.
You see, when I got saved what I didn't know was that I am no longer subject to sin and am made righteous in Christ.
That seems so elementary for some people but, it's really heavy when you think about it. Sin isn't a bondage I carry anymore.
Sin isn't a circumstance that dictates to me how my life is. Sin isn't that thing I hate about me but can't change.
Sin isn't even something I can do without making the choice to do it first.
Having said that, let me say this...I am not perfect, I am however anal...
Moving on.
You see, when WE are the righteousness of Christ it means we're more than redeemed. I am not some piece of scrap metal a farmer picked up and used to mend an old shed or build a bird house with. God didn't take me and re-shape me in the state of rust and filth I was born in. No, he took me and melted me down and in a sense re-birthed me into a new unrecognizable creation.
HOW COOL IS THAT??
So, instead of standing on stage and thinking of "what are they seeing when they stare at me?" I am too busy being confident in my walk with Christ, I know they're not even looking at me. They're looking at HIM who is in me. It's better than a mask, people aren't deceived. When He is shining through me though...it's exactly what I want them staring at. It's truth and that is what God is and so is His word truth in me.
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