About three years ago, I was what most people know as a lost soul. I was clinically depressed for about two years. Everything in my life seemed pointless to me. I had lost grip of my dreams, my hopes, and believes. The lonely, heavy feeling in my chest started taking me down. I fell deep into meth, and other bad habits for about a year. There wasn’t a day I wouldn’t think about committing suicide. I felt empty, used, stupid, alone. I stopped believing in Gods word. Yet I prayed for him to give me a sign that he still cared for me.
January 5th 2005 I found out I was pregnant. That was the exact moment I got the last “slap in the face”, everything changed. I stopped smoking, drinking, doing drugs. I changed my number and got completely disconnected from the world. God blessed me with an amazing family. They were, and still are there for me. They took me back in, and sheltered me. I began going back into depression while pregnant. Then this one day I went out with an old friend. I began telling her everything that I’d bin threw. Then she invited me to start going to church with her. I accepted, and it became a good habit every Sunday. I stopped going when Danny was born. But my faith kept growing stronger and stronger every time Id stare at Danny.
I was brought up Roman Catholic. In Catholicism there are 4 sacraments one must go threw. This same friend who invited me back to church asked me if I wanted to get confirmed into the church with her. We started going to classes. I began having alot of questions about the religion. So I would ask both the deacon and the priest, they would always find a way to twist the answer into, “it’s a sin to doubt your religion”. I would come to work mad and confused about everything that had to do with religion. I began venting to my co-worker, and now friend Erin. She would explain things to me in such a way that made me want to know the Lord in a whole different way. I kept insinuating for her to invite me to her church, until one day she finally got the clue!
She wasn’t even done asking before I asked “when and where?” I was saved the 1st time I went to VBF. God spoke to me that day like never before.
That same day after church I had this incredible feeling. The same feeling that keeps me addicted to VBF.
So here I am now, still the worse speller I know. But crazy about Jesus and the incredible journey he has set for me.
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