 Rabbi Ken and Melissa of Congregation Yeshuat Yisrael Presents A Messianic Jewish Wedding Guide Pre-Ceremony Ketubah Signing The Ketubah is signed in a private ceremony with the Bride, Groom, family and the wedding party. This can actually happen at the rehearsal the evening before. Click here for a PDF/Wedding Program.pdf you can print this and use this as a guide. As long as the bride (Kallah) and groom (Chatan) are standing under the Chuppah (canopy), the marriage ceremony can take place almost anywhere -- in a synagogue, the bride or groom’s home, in a public venue such as a hotel or even on a beach. You can marry at any time of the day, though it is most usual to marry in the afternoon or evening. Most people choose to marry on a Sunday or a Tuesday -- a particularly significant day, as this was when God blessed His creation double. Under Orthodox law, it is generally forbidden to get married in the 49 days between the moveable feasts of Passover and Pentecost, and during three weeks between July and August. It is also forbidden to marry on the Sabbath or on festival days. If you want to get married on a Saturday, the ceremony is not allowed to begin until after sundown. Pre-Ceremony Badekkin - Veiling The pre-ceremony ritual is the veiling of the Kallah (Bride). It is often done with the Bride, her attendants and female guests. The Chatan (Groom) lowers the veil over the Kallah's face. This custom recalls Rebecca and Issac's first meeting when Rebecca modestly concealed her face in a veil. It also recalls the biblical story of Rachel and Jacob. Rachels father Laben substituted his elder daughter Leah, for Rachel. The Chatan lowers the veil over the Kallah to be sure not to make the same mistake Jacob did and by "dressing" his Kallah with a veil, the Chatan is assured that she is the one he has chosen, and thereby sets her apart from all others. Most brides do not want to allow the groom to see his bride until the ceremony, but this is only for superstitious reasons. Suggested Prelude Wedding Music Erev Shel Shoshanim Adonai Sfatai Traditional Ma’oz Tzur (Traditional Hanukkah Song Jerusalem of Gold Y’did Nefesh Ani Le Dodi Sunrise Sunset Sabbath Prayer HaTikvah Seating of the Grandmothers Brides side is on the right. The Wedding Ceremony Kiddushin - The Wedding Ceremony The Jewish wedding is called kiddushin, meaning sanctification related to the word kadosh (holy). The kiddushin is composed of two distinct ceremonies: the erusin and nisuin or nuptials. Erusin - The Betrothal The Betrothal ceremony has been combined in modern times with the second service nisuin. It is during the erusin ceremony that the kallah (bride) and chatan (groom) are formally and publicly betrothed to one another. A blessing over a cup of wine is said, followed by a second blessing that reminds us of the holiness of unity as well as the integrity of the bonds of marriage. Both the kallah and chatan drink from the same cup of wine, accepting life's joys, as well as responsibilities. Blowing of the Shofar In Biblical times the shofar was blown to announce important events, such as a call to worship, a wedding, the alarm of war or the coming of peace. The shofar was sounded during the greatest event in all Jewish history, The giving of the Torah to Moses at Mount Sinai. The blowing of the Shofar will also be used to proclaim the coronation of the King Messiah the Son of David. Today the bride is a queen, and the groom a king. Baruchim Haba'im Bashem Adonai Blessed are they who come in the name of the Lord. Processional of the Torah (Optional) Music: Hatikvah The Hope– Israel’s National Anthem As long as the Jewish spirit is yearning deep in the heart, With eyes turned toward the East, looking toward Zion, Then our hope - the two-thousand-year-old hope - will not be lost: To be a free people in our land, the land of Zion and Jerusalem. This unique feature of this very special day is a statement that the Torah, the Word of G-d should lead the way in any marriage. We find in the words of this holy book the instructions for life. The Torah is G-d’s Covenant or Marriage Contract to the people of Israel. Processional of the Groomsmen then Best Man Processional of the Groom, the Chatan Groom alone or escorted by both his father and mother Music: Baruch Ha Ba Traditional Hodu L'Adonai Ki Tov Processional of the Brides Attendants Brides Maids Maid (Matron) of Honor Ring Bearer Flower Girl Processional of the Bride Do not use the Christian Traditional piece "Here Comes The Bride" or "The Wedding March" because it was composed by Richard Wagner. *Please remain seated. It is not customary within a Jewish wedding to stand when the bride enters. Bride is escorted by her father and mother Suggested Music: Dodi Li Encircling of the Groom The Bride circles her beloved seven times, taken from Jeremiah 31:22b, "a woman shall compass (revolve around, surround) a man." Seven times is significant because of its scriptural reference of perfection and completion; the reference in Hosea 2:19-21 of God’s seven-fold betrothal to His people, Israel; the reference in Revelation 4:5 to the seven Spirits of God; and as a reflection of the Bride’s desire to be as the seven prophetesses of Israel: Sarah, Miriam, Deborah, Hannah, Abigail, Hilda, and Esther. The position of the bride on the right side of the groom is based on an interpretation of Psalm 45:10 "the queen stands on your right hand in fine gold of ophir". In Jewish tradition the bride is a queen, and the groom a king. Suggested Music: Sunrise Sunset Bride encircles groom seven times. Bride and Groom Enter the Chuppah The bridal canopy is a multifaceted symbol: it is a home, and a reminder of the tent of our Patriarchs. It is open on all sides to recall the tent of Abraham and Sara, who had doors on all sides of his dwelling to welcome guests. Entrance under the Chuppah (Wedding Canopy) This is symbolic of the marriage coming under the Holy covering of God. The covering represents protection, mercy, and grace. Ma Tovu Numbers 24:5 How beautiful are your tents, O Jacob, Your dwelling places, O Israel! Blessing of the Bride and Groom - Mi Adir Mi Adir al hakol. Mi baruch al hakol. Mi gadol al hakol. Hu y'vareykh et he'khatan v'et ha'kalah He who is supremely mighty, He who is supremely blessed He who is supremely sublime May He bless the Groom and the Bride. Groom lifts the veil to take a peek. This is to verify that she is his wife and not another, avoiding the mistake that Jacob made with Leah. Reading of the Ketubah (Marriage Contract) The wedding canopy is symbolic of the marriage coming under the holy covering of God. The chuppah also represents the home the bride and groom will build together. The "chuppah" may also represent the home of Abraham and serve as a reminder that he was a foreigner in a strange land, looking for the place God had promised to him. The sides are open to show that friends and family are always welcome. In Biblical times, Jewish weddings were comprised of two separate components; the betrothal ceremony and the actual wedding ceremony. These two ceremonies usually took place about a year apart. The Written Torah is G-d’s Ketubah ( Covenant Contract ) to the People of Israel. The Ketubah is a pre-nuptial marriage covenant that has replaced the ancient Bride Price. This covenant and marriage is only valid when signed by the presence of two witnesses. The rabbis in ancient times insisted that the marriage couple entered into the Ketubah as an assurance for the wife’s well being during the first stage of the engagement. The Bride and The Groom have written their Ketubah based on love and spiritual commitment instead of material things. A relationship centered on G-d, love and mutual respect for each other will last longer than any man-made contract. The bride lived apart from the groom until the actual marriage ceremony, which would take place in a tent or a bridal chamber that the groom had set up for her. Later in history, the two ceremonies were combined and the marriage ceremony started to be performed publicly. At this new ceremony, the chuppah, or the portable marriage canopy, was included as a symbol of the chamber within which marriages originally took place. The Ketubah - Certificate of Marriage This is to certify that on the 22nd day of the month of Kislev in the year 5758, corresponding to the 20th day of December, 1997, the holy Covenant of Marriage was entered into between the Bridegroom, _____________, and his Bride, _________________. The groom made the following declarations to the bride; "Be my wife according to the law of Moses and Israel and the Messiah Yeshua. I will, love, honor, and cherish you as Messiah loved the holy congregation. I will provide for you as is proper for a husband to do according to the teachings of the word of God." The Bride has accepted his words and dedicated herself to him, saying; "I will respect, honor, and cherish you in the same manner as the holy congregation is to love the Messiah." Nisuin - The Nuptials The second part of the ceremony after the erusin is the nisuin. This ceremony forms the second half of the wedding service. Even though the chatan and kallah are legally bound to each other as husband and wife at the completion of the eursin, the wedding ceremony is not yet complete. During this part of the ceremony, God's presence is acknowledged in the new relationship. This acknowledgement is made by chanting seven blessings called the sheva b'rachot. Like the erusin ceremony, the sheva b'rachot are chanted over a cup of wine. After the blessing for wine, the remaining six blessings acknowledge God as the creator of the world, the creator of love and as the One who brings redemption to the world. The Seven Wedding Blessings 1. Baruch Ata Adonai Elokainu Melech HaOlam, SheHakol Barah Lichvodo Blessed are You, Lord our G-d, the sovereign of the world, who created everything for his glory. 2. Baruch Ata Adonai Elokainu Melech HaOlam, Yotzer Ha'Adam Blessed are You, Lord our G-d, the sovereign of the world, the creator of man. 3. Baruch Ata Adonai Elokainu Melech HaOlam, Asher Yatzar Et Ha'Adam Betzalmo, b'Tzelem Dmut Tavnito, VeHitkon Lo Mimenu Binyan Adei Ad. Baruch Ata Adonai Yotzer Ha'Adam Blessed are You, Lord our G-d, the sovereign of the world, who created man in His image, in the pattern of His own likeness, and provided for the perpetuation of his kind. Blessed are You, Lord, the creator of man. 4. Sos Tasis VeTagel HaAkarah, BeKibbutz Bane'ha Letocha BeSimchaa. Baruch Ata Adonai, Mesame'ach Tzion BeVaneha Let the barren city be jubilantly happy and joyful at her joyous reunion with her children. Blessed are You, Lord, who makes Zion rejoice with her children. 5. Sameach TeSamach Re'im Ahuvim, KeSamechacha Yetzircha BeGan Eden MiKedem. Baruch Ata Adonai, MeSame'ach Chatan VeKalah Let the loving couple be very happy, just as You made Your creation happy in the garden of Eden, so long ago. Blessed are You, Lord, who makes the bridegroom and the bride happy. 6. Baruch Ata Adonai Elokainu Melech HaOlam, Asher Barah Sasson VeSimcha, Chatan VeKalah, Gila Rina, Ditza VeChedva, Ahava VeAchava, VeShalom VeRe'ut. MeHera Adonai Elokeinu Yishama BeArei Yehudah U'Vchutzot Yerushalayim, Kol Sasson V'eKol Simcha, Kol Chatan V'eKol Kalah, Kol Mitzhalot Chatanim MeChupatam, U'Nearim Mimishte Neginatam. Baruch Ata Adonai MeSame'ach Chatan Im Hakalah. Blessed are You, Lord our G-d, the sovereign of the world, who created joy and celebration, bridegroom and bride, rejoicing, jubilation, pleasure and delight, love and brotherhood, peace and friendship. May there soon be heard, Lord our G-d, in the cities of Judea and in the streets of Jerusalem, the sound of joy and the sound of celebration, the voice of a bridegroom and the voice of a bride, the happy shouting of bridegrooms from their weddings and of young men from their feasts of song. Blessed are You, Lord, who makes the bridegroom and the bride rejoice together. 7. Baruch ata Adonai, Eloheynu Melech HaOlam Borey Pree Hagafen. Blessed are You O Lord our God, King of the Universe who creates the fruit of the vine, the symbol of joy. Blessed are thou, O Lord, who has hallowed thy people Israel by the blessing of the marriage canopy, the Chuppah and the sacred covenant of marriage. Bride and Groom Drink from the Cup of Wine It is the “Fruit of the Vine” that is a symbol of G-d’s creation. God created mankind from the dust of the earth by his creative power. The first miracle of the Master’s hands occurred at a Jewish wedding when the Holy One, Blessed be He, transformed water into wine. Lighting of the Seven Branch Menorah (Optional) Somewhat replaces the “unity” candle. Bride and groom can light each side separately and work their way to light the center servant candle together. The menorah is a seven branched candelabrum and has been a symbol of Judaism for over 3000 years. It is also a symbol of the burning bush as seen by Moses on Mount Horeb (Exodus 3:2 ). Great care was taken to replenish the oil , trim the wicks and keep it lit by the priests in the Tabernacle and in the Temple in Jerusalem. It also reminds us of an ancient story of the ten virgins waiting for their groom. When the groom came for his bride, some were ready and some were not. According to Zechariah, two “anointed ones” continuously replenished the holy menorah with the fresh oil from the two olive trees. The central light is known to represent the Shamash or Servant. By lighting the menorah, Lauren and Terry are prepared and willing to serve one another in order to keep the fire of their relationship burning. Marriage is like a fire, it goes out if left unattended. May their light always shine just as the eternal light shines in the heavens. The Rabbi’s Message The sermon or charge should be a personal message to the bride and groom by the Rabbi with challenges and commitments to the Holy One. Exchanging of the Vows I would encourage the bride and groom to write their own vows and read them at the ceremony. It is more personal and meaningful. If they are not comfortable reading aloud then here is a "repeat after me" example. (Groom)______________, will you have (Bride)__________ to be your wife? Will you love her, honor her, comfort and keep her, and forsaking all others remain true to her as long as you both shall live? "I will." (Bride)___________, will you have (Groom)___________ to be your husband? Will you love him, honor him, comfort and keep him, and forsaking all others remain true to him as long as you both shall live? "I will." (Turn and face each other) (Groom)___________, please repeat after me. I, (Groom)___________ take thee (Bride)___________, To be my wedded wife, And I do promise and covenant, Before God and these witnesses, To be thy loving and faithful husband, In plenty and in want, In joy and in sorrow, In sickness and in health, As long as you both shall live. (Bride)___________, please repeat after me. I, (Bride)___________ take thee (Groom)___________, To be my wedded husband, And I do promise and covenant, Before God and these witnesses, To be thy loving and faithful wife, In plenty and in want, In joy and in sorrow, In sickness and in health, As long as you both shall live. Ring Ceremony Do we have a ring for the Bride? (Groom)________________, repeat after me: Harey at Me-ku-de-shet li B'taba'at Zo K'dat Moshe, v' K'dat Moshiach And with this ring I do thee wed. Behold thou art consecrated unto me With this ring According to the Law of Moses, And the Law of Messiahl And with this ring I do thee wed. Do we have a ring for the Groom? <
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