A hater is someone who is jealous and envious and spends all their time trying to make you look small so they can look tall.
They are very negative people to say the least. Nothing is ever good enough!
When you make your mark, you will always attract some haters...
That's why you have to be careful with whom you share your blessings and your dreams, because some folk can't handle seeing you blessed...
It's dangerous to be like somebody else... If God wanted you to be like somebody else, He would have given you what He gave them! Right?
You never know what people have gone through to get what they have...
The problem I have with haters is that they see my glory, but they don't know my story...
If the grass looks greener on the other side of the fence, you can rest assured that the water bill is higher there too!
We've all got some haters among us!
Some people envy you because you can: a) Have a relationship with God b) Light up a room when you walk in c) Start your own business d) Tell a man / woman to hit the curb (if he / she isn't about the right thing) e) Raise your children without both parents being in the home
Haters can't stand to see you happy. Haters will never want to see you succeed. Most of our haters are people who are supposed to beon our side.
How do you handle your undercover haters? You can handle these haters by:
1. Knowing who you are & who your true friends are *(VERY IMPORTANT!!)
2. Having a purpose to your life: Purpose does not mean having a job. You can have a job and still be unfulfilled.
A purpose is having a clear sense of what God has called you to be. Your purpose is not defined by what others think about you.
3. By remembering what you have is by divine prerogative and not human manipulation.
Fulfill your dreams! You only have one life to live...when its yourtime to leave this earth, you 'want' to be able to say, 'I've lived my life and fulfilled 'my' dreams,... Now I'm ready to go HOME!
When God gives you favor, you can tell your haters, 'Don't look at me...Look at Who is in charge of me...'
LOVE HATER, If you don't get it back, maybe you called somebody out! Don't worry about it, it's not your problem, it's theirs.. Just pray for them, that their life can be as fulfilled as yours!
Watch out for Haters...BUT most of all don't becomea HATER!
Maya Angelou
"A Goal without a Plan is just a Wish."
"God does not begin by asking us about our ability, but only our availability, and if we then prove our dependability, He will increase our capability."
To recap my previous blogs, in blog one I discussed my ex-neighbor Olivia’s murder, the difference religion made in my life, when I developed a TRUE relationship with Jehovah, and TRUE repentance. In blog two, I explained how Olivia’s murder caused me to reflect on past experiences and how ignoring the “still small voice” can impact our lives on different levels. In blog three, I briefly explained how my choices and behaviors, after conversion, contributed to my spiraling back into the world of sin. I also talked about what it meant to be accepted, respected, and loved unconditionally, as well as rededicating my life to God. In blog four, I discussed how God turned my trials in triumphs, placed a hedge of protection around me, and brought me to a place of peace and contentment. In blog five, I discussed what I learned during the “Process” or what others refer to as life’s experiences. However, the most important thing I’ve learned thus far concerns “unconditional love”. In blog six, I questioned God about the “why’s” of it all and discovered that my “process was about unconditional love in its most primitive form: acceptance” and this could only be done when you learn to “LOVE UNCONDITIONALLY”. I ended by stating, “As I move forward unto the next leg of my journey I take with me a better understanding of what is meant by ‘to everything there is a time and season’”.
Ecclesiastes3 begins by stating, 1To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: and I can’t help but admit that, in MY lifetime, these have been the most POWERFUL words I’ve read thus far. After all, I have definitely experienced or will experience each and every season spoken of in Ecclesiastes3.2A time to be born, and a time to die; (we are alive and we will die) a time to plant, (ethics & moral values learned during your youthful years), and a time to pluck up that which is planted; (venturing outside of God’s will for our life and basically doing your our thing). 3A time to kill, (cutting ties with anything that is not of God), and a time to heal; (learning from pass mistakes and gradually re-allowing things back into our lives once we have grown and matured) a time to break down, (falling apart when you lose the things that matter: in my case love) and a time to build up (learning from each process and moving forward). Likewise, there’s 4A time to weep, (the penalties associated with disobedience), and a time to laugh; (spending time with family and friends) a time to mourn (death of loved ones or heart break associated with lost love) and a time to dance (family gatherings and time spent with the Lord: yes He dances!). 5[…] a time to embrace, (life and everything it entails) and a time to refrain from embracing; (knowing when to step back and allow God to take control). 7A time to rend, (severing ties with everyone in order to focus on the things of God) and a time to sew; (doing whatever it takes to make amends for past indiscretions whenever possible) a time to keep silence, (knowing when to hold your tongue even when you completely disagree with whatever situation you are being faced with) and a time speak (communicating: by talking, blogging, or emailing at the appropriate times). Most importantly, 8a time to love, (we have ALL been here, but we have not all loved UNCONDITIONALLY) and a time to hate; (at this point in my life I cannot speak on this topic because I have never experienced hate: dislike, detest, loath, yes! But I have NEVER hate) a time for war, (history speaks on this and even now, here in America, we are on high alert) and a time of peace (feel free to read my blog “When did I get here?” CLICK LINK: http://www.mychurch.org/blog/153223/When-Did-I-get-HERE When I read Ecclesiastes3 I am reminded of old tired clichés I have heard throughout the years such as: “’you reap what you sow’, ‘confession is good for the soul’, or ‘what goes on in the dark eventually comes to light’”; yet these clichés simply reflect those recorded in Ecclesiastes3“to everything there is a time and season”. As time progresses we see these clichés come to pass at one point or another in our lives or that of someone we encounter; yet, some MISS the purpose behind them: they are simply to remind us that in the grand scheme of things, 19[For that which befalleth the sons of men befalleth beasts; […]: as the one dieth, so dieth the other; […] for all is vanity”. Simply put, we ALL should realize that everything in this life is temporal and it is more important to focus on the things above because 20”All go unto one place; all are of the dust, and all turn to dust again”. I had to learn to quit placing so much emphasis on the things of this world because as Job stated, “Naked came I out of my mothers womb, and naked shall I return thither: the Lord giveth and the Lord hath taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord”. I had to learn to thank God in my seasons of ABUNDANCE and when I experienced a DRY SEASON I learned to thank Him during those times as well. Now, I simply thank Him for granting me the opportunity to experience each and every season. I have not always been this way. There were times in my life when I felt disappointment and I refused to acknowledge God, much less read the Bible; who knows how different my life could have been if I simply continued to focus on my Creator instead of the things He created: even with this thought in mind, I am reminded that everything happens in Gods perfect timing.
On the other hand, I have heard individual’s state time and again, “the bible is a hoax and its accounts are the biggest load of BS ever written”. Nevertheless, I have to disagree with these types of analogies because the Bible is an extraordinarily, factually, spiritually based, written masterpiece that has the ability to convert murders, rapists, pedophiles, prostitutes, etc, into God fearing men and women: I am a living testimony of this. I can’t help but think that many of these individuals are limited in their ability to comprehend how the Bible, Koran, or any spiritually written document, written under the influence of the Most High God, brings about positive changes in individuals who otherwise would have continued on a non-spiritual path. Furthermore, I believe that we as individuals cannot ever begin to TRULY comprehend biblical or spiritual precepts because we are limited by our physical experiences: hence we continue to learn based on experiences, whether it is individually or collectively. Nonetheless, based on personal experience, I can safely say that having read the Bible I am better prepared to handle life circumstances because each and every situation I face I have read about in the Bible as well: Ecclesiastes19 “The thing that hath been, it is that which shall be; and that which is done is that which shall be done: [for there is nothing new under the Sun]”. With that being said, I have further concluded that had I not read the Bible I would be less intuitive to God or His will for my life. I admit that I am NO great scholar who has written synapses on the Bible, I am simply someone who has read its contents and I’m better able to endure trials and temptations because of what is written INSIDE of its pages. Finally, when all is said and done, based on biblical principles, I reconcile myself to God not only as His daughter, but I am proud to say that He has always been the FRIEND who sticketh closer than a brother.
This series was a long time in coming; I kept putting it off because I was afraid of being judged, shunned, ridiculed, talked about, etc; however, the reality is that now that it is over I feel a peace that surpasses all understanding: everything in Gods perfect timing. Many of you have related to these blogs on different levels and all I can say is that sometimes there is a literal battle going on in the spiritual realm in getting your answers delivered to you; nevertheless, always remember that God delivers tailor made solutions to fit your particular situations and sometimes the messengers get detained by outside forces. I would also like to advise everyone reading these blogs to testify about your life or a particular circumstance when the Lord impresses upon your heart to do so: your testimony may be just what someone else needs to PUSH them into a new season. Also keep in mind that these blogs were written as a means of teaching others how to love and develop a relationship with God; although our experiences are similar our PROCESSES are not. As I have written these blogs I received a cleansing of mind and renewing of spirit. With that being said I leave you with this Verse and the song playing in the background as a reminder that God’s got in all in control, so sit back, relax, and enjoy the rest of the time He has allotted you here on Earth.
ECCLESIASTES 3:14
I know that, whatsoever God doeth, it shall be for ever: nothing can be put to it, nor any thing taken from it […]
To recap my previous blogs, in blog one I discussed my ex-neighbor Olivia’s murder, the difference religion made in my life, when I developed a TRUE relationship with Jehovah, and experienced TRUE repentance. In blog two, I explained how Olivia’s murder caused me to reflect on past experiences and how ignoring the “still small voice” can impact our lives on many levels. In blog three, I briefly explained how my choices and behaviors, after conversion, contributed to my spiraling back into the world of sin. I also talked about what it meant to be accepted, respected, and loved unconditionally, as well as rededicating my life to God. In blog four, I discussed how God turned my trials in triumphs, placed a hedge of protection around me, and brought me to a place of peace and contentment. In blog five, I discussed what I learned during the “Process” or what others refer to as life’s experiences. However, the most important thing I’ve learned thus far concerns “unconditional love”.
I begin by defining what UNCONDITIONAL LOVE means to me: This is the sincere love, the love that lasts forever. This kind of love comes when you have found the person you are destined to be with. Nothing can destroy unconditional love.
I have often heard friends and family members discuss unconditional love: I have to admit I stayed out of those conversations because I was selfish when it came to love. Until I met my ex and went through my “PROCESS” I NEVER loved conditionally. My love for people was based in the belief or idea of what I thought love should bring about. I loved based on superficial criteria’s such as: religious beliefs, social standing, employment or lack thereof, number of children, credit rating, ect because I felt that these were important criterias if one wanted to live a productive life. You see, I was taught at a young age that Love was over-rated, and the best relationships involved individuals who grew to love each other over time. I honestly believed this to be true and therefore was often heard repeating phrases such as “I don’t have to be in love to get married or I can grow to love my husband over time”. When it came to love, the first thirty-five years of my life basically reflected Tina Turners “what’s love got to do with it”! I chose the men I dated based on social and financial status because I felt like I needed someone who was my equal in every sense of the word. I looked at life a little differently, simply because, I knew I was royalty (daughter of the most High God) and should not date below my status, lol. I figured I deserved the “VERY BEST” because of whose I was and to settle for anything less would reflect poorly on my Father. Apparently, God had other plans for me, because at the age of thirty six I grew to love a man who lacked integrity, and because of whose he was, I learned about “unconditional love”.
I explained in my previous blog that when my ex ended our relationship I quickly fell apart. What I did not explain was that during that time I questioned God about the “whys of it all”. At that point I felt an overwhelming sense of disappointment in the God whom I loved and served. For four years I had done just about everything God asked, so I trusted Him to protect me; yet deep down, I felt that He had betrayed me by allowing “a man” to completely destroy my self-confidence: not just in myself but Him as well. I had numerous conversations with God concerning my ex’s treatment of me: I simply couldn’t understand why God allowed this to happen to someone whom He had completely protected from “unseen dangers” in the past. I couldn’t understand why he would allow this man to lie, cheat, misuse, and abuse one of His Precious Daughters: after all “He knew me before I was created in my mother’s womb. [My steps had been ordered and prepared by Him]”. I was royalty, child of the Most High God, daughter of a King: I couldn’t understand how a loving Father could allow a liar and a cheat to dishonor one of His Prize possessions. I am glad to proclaim that my Father answered my accusations by stating, “Ye without sin cast the first stone”
I was stunned, there I was debasing the VERY man I proclaimed to love when in all actuality I was the one who had completely acted outside of God’s will for my life. This man never claimed to be a Christian, love the same God I did, or anything else for that matter; he was simply responding the same way he had for the past thirty-six years. However, because I was so wrapped up in the pain of rejection and placing ALL the blame on my ex, I was NOT taking responsibility for my part in the breakup. With that being said, I continued to remind God, yet again, of the broken promises, the hurt feelings, and the fact that I simply couldn’t find it in my heart to forgive him: the damage he caused was horrendous, forgiveness was not an option. God, in His infinite wisdom, reminded me of all the promises I made Him that I had broken; He reminded me of the anger I felt when I read about the Israelites disobedience: yet He forgave them so who was I to be unforgiving when it came to others. He took it one step future and reminded me of the numerous times he had forgiven me for MY MANY indiscretions. Simply put, He reminded me that my ex was human: prone to human tendencies which include dishonesty, fraud and hypocrisy. He reminded me that just as He loves me unconditionally, even with all my faults, He expects me to follow His example and love others in the EXACTLY the same way! Nevertheless, I felt what God was asking of me was impossible because I had placed this man of a pedestal, treated him like royalty, and in return he discarded me like yesterdays news. How was I supposed to put aside the hurt and pain associated with loving him and simply FORGIVE?
Like many individuals, I allowed emotions to take control and thereby get in the way of basic human logic. God simply wanted me to eliminate turmoil - emotion from the equation and once I did I discover what remained (equaled) = LOVE: Pure, unaffected, unconditional love. God gave me a mere glimpse into why His love supersede that of mans, it’s because He is unaffected by basic human emotion. His ways are greater than ours ways because unlike humans He TRULY loves unconditionally. Its like a light bulb went on inside my head and I finally grasped the lesson I was suppose to learn: the concept of unconditional love. This “process” was about unconditional love in its most primitive form: acceptance. I needed to learn the lesson of accepting others for who they are and loving them nonetheless. A prime example of this kind of acceptance is when you have an argument or disagree about something with the person you love, only to realize that whatever you are arguing about really doesn’t bother you because the love you have for him/her overcomes everything. It’s the same with God and that’s why He needed me to let go of EVERY/ANY preconceived notions I had concerning love and simply love others unconditionally. Ultimately my character should reflect that of His; again, He wanted me to let go of my anger, hurt, pain, etc. and simply love in spite of. He wanted me to love in spite of what was said, left unsaid, torn, broken, hurt, shattered, devastated, ____________, (you fill in the blank), simply put “LOVE IN SPITE OF”! My lesson was quite simple once I figured out what God wanted me to take away from the "process": forgiveness was not only easy, it was immediate. Now, I love my ex in spite of ____________ and because of this I continue to pray Gods will for his life. My ex was placed in my life for a time and during a "PARTICULAR" season: my season of “unconditional love” and for this I am grateful! As I move forward unto the next leg of my journey I take with me a better understanding of what is meant by “for everything there is A TIME AND A SEASON”.
Previous Blogs are still posted, PLEASE feel free to read them at will.
To recap my previous blogs, in blog one I began by discussing my ex-neighbor Olivia’s murder, the difference religion made in my life and developing a relationship with Jehovah: as well as experiencing TRUE repentance. In blog two, I explained how Olivia’s murder caused me to begin reflecting on my past experiences and how ignoring the “still small voice” that warns us of unforeseen dangers can impact our lives on different levels. I briefly explained how my choices and behaviors, after conversion, contributed to my spiraling back into the world of sin. I talked about past relationships, what it meant to be accepted, respected, and loved unconditionally, as well as rededicating my life to God. In blog three, I talked about how God constantly turned my trials in triumphs, placed a hedge of protection around my life, and I finally discovered a place of peace and contentment. I ended blog three by stating, “There was only one thing missing in my life, a significant other” and how ill-prepared I felt concerning retuning to the dating scene. Nevertheless, after four years of living a single life, I met someone whom I felt sure both loved and feared the Lord. I felt certain he would be a good role model, friend, and more importantly he as the man God placed in my life to complete my family unit. However, there was a problem; once I learned to love this man, he in turn did not love me the way I was designed to be loved and I did not know how to explain to him that I wanted out?
What I had not realized was that somewhere along the way my ex was growing to love me in return. When I finally decided to call it quits, the man I loved was now struggling to love me. He told me time and again he loved me; on many occasions he requested that I gave him time because there were things in his life I did not understand and he needed time to fix whatever they were. I, on the other hand, couldn’t understand why he felt the need to go at it alone; I thought that at this point in our relationship he already knew I had his back; after all I had proven this time and again. What’s more, he made our relationship more complicated by NOT trusting me enough to tell me what was really going on with him. All the same, I watched him trying to please me; he started by trying to fix the things I vocalized as problems; However, because I never talked about the REAL underlining issues: like meeting HIS family, getting a key to HIS place (allowing me to finally feel like we were on equal footing), being able to visit more frequently, etc, he did not realize he was fighting a losing battle. In reality, throughout our entire relationship I never discussed things that were important to me; my main concern was making sure he was happy. When I looked at him struggling to meet my unspoken needs, I loved him even more for it. Nevertheless, too much damage had already been done. There were just too many lies, hurtful words, and general lack of commitment on his part. My self confidence hit an all time low during this period in my life, I felt completely inadequate because I simply could not disclose my true feelings to this man. I wanted him to be at ease in my presence; his job and life was stressful enough as is and I did not want to add to this. To this day I never told him about my feelings of inadequacy. Months went by and as I watched him struggling to please me I decided it might be best to wait and see if our relationship could endure its many trials. One year later we were still exactly where we had started, with me giving one-hundred percent and still receiving only thirty in return.Of course there was an unforeseen twist, he decided that he no longer wanted to be in a relationship and called it quits. To say I was heartbroken is an understatement, after all my sacrifices he decided that he no longer wanted ME.There was no where left to turn but back to my “FIRST LOVE”.
During the year and a half that I dated my ex I put God on the back burner, He placed second in comparison to the man I had chosen to give my all too. When he ended the relationship my world quickly fell apart: especially because I had forgotten WHOSE I was. I will be the first to admit that giving my all to someone only to have them re-pay it by walking out on me is the most hurtful thing I have experienced thus far. With this knowledge I entered into the darkest period of my life. Nothing could have prepared me for losing at love; I literally lost interest in everything and everyone. I dropped out of College, stopped working out, attending family functions, and church. The only thing that kept me from completely falling apart was my son. Every time I got close to giving into depression I reminded myself that my son was depending on me and I needed to keep it together for his sake. I hit rock bottom hard and fast and there was no one else to turn too, except the man I call “Abba aka Father”.
At this point there was no way to go but up. I did the only thing I knew to do, I cried out to my Father in prayer: along with fasting. To this day all I can say is thank God for His Mercy and Grace because He kept me. In the midst of my heart break I took comfort in God. I did this though meditation and imagining myself at God’s throne; once there I would kneel at His feet and tell Him all about my heart ache and pain. I did this every morning and evening for about three months and eventually I began to find peace. During this time I lifted my ex up in prayer as well because I wanted God to restore what I had allowed Satan to take away: my confidence in a most Sovereign God. During this time, I literally prayed for him more than I prayed for myself, I asked for healing and deliverance not only for myself but for him as well. Six months later I was on the road to recovery; like any addict I needed a ten-step program in order to regain my identity. I started with meditation and fasting, continued with scripture and music, followed by reading inspirational literature and blogs. Nine months into the recovery process I spoke to my ex, he told me that he was getting married to one woman and had yet another pregnant. First I was stunned, stunned turned into hurt, hurt turned into disbelief, disbelief turned in truth, truth turned into testimony. Once the initial shock wore off, I quickly realized that my ex was still the liar he had always been, the difference this time was that I was no longer naïve concerning his tactics. In nine months I had grown and matured in the Lord, and because of this my main focus was no longer being overly concerned with his happiness. I was finally able to disclose things that had bothered me in the past regarding our relationship and called him on his lies: both past and present. He unknowingly confessed too many of his indiscretions, and because of this I was on my way to finding closure and moving on with my life.
It took a few more months but I got to a place where I no longer felt unworthy of him; I finally realized he was the one who was actually unworthy of me. It took eleven-month, but I finally rediscover myself, faith, trust and commitment for an extremely merciful God. On the other hand, once I re-allowed God to re-take control of my life, I rediscovered whose I was: Daughter of Royalty, Sister to a Saviour, and next in line to wear the Crown. It had taken me almost two years but I finally realized that God had given me my wings to “fly with the eagles” and I almost crash landed in the process. God was removing His “hedge of protection” (as I had requested) but because I lost focus I had forgotten that sometimes God prepares us by allowing us to go through a refining process. It’s in “refining process” that we grow and develop as individuals. There are lessons to be learned and we are not supposed to allow the “process” to break us: we are to simply learn whatever lessons are being taught and move on to our next level. It took two years but I learned a lot in MY process. I learned not only how to receive but to give LOVE in return. I learned how to love unconditionally, and when to let love go. I learned that there are no guarantees with love and love is more than just saying mere words: it should be followed with up action as well, because actions sometimes do speak louder than words. I learned about the different types of love and how one can differentiate between them.
SECURITY LOVE: This love is the love that everybody needs to survive. It is that feeling of being cared for and nurtured. Some people would describe this as the type of love parents have for their children. FRIENDSHIP LOVE: This is a love between yourself and someone that is totally honest, open and comfortable. You really only have this kind of bond with a few people. You might know a lot of people and be "friendly" with them in a group situation but they are not the best friends I am talking about here. ROMANTIC LOVE: (The much anticipated love!) Most people experience this type of love many times in their life. It is when you see that person for the first time and he/she makes your knees go weak or gives you butterflies in your stomach .i.e. "Love at first sight”. Most people don’t even love the person they think they are in love with…they fall in love with the idea if being in love. This is more of a lustful kind of love; it wears off after a while. UNCONDITIONAL LOVE: This is the sincere love, the love that lasts forever. This kind of love comes when you have found the person you are destined to be with. Nothing can destroy unconditional love. It is like when you have an argument or disagree about something with that person and you realize that it doesn’t bother you because the love you have for him/her overcomes everything.
Finally, I learned my worth, not just for myself but more importantly what I am worth to God. I learned that he loves me unconditionally, without reason. I learned that although I am unworthy of His grace or mercy He still chose me, blesses me, and causes me to prosper beyond my wildest expectation. I learned that I am truly blessed, prosperous, and highly favored not because of anything I did, but because of whose I am. I learned that like with any addict recovery is possible if you would only tap into the right source: God Almighty. Most Importantly, I learned that when you place anyone before God your relationships are doomed to fail because living a life pleasing to God should ALWAYS be your first priory.
