Well, if you couldn't guess it just from the title, for those that were there when Pastor Ron preached on people's temperments, I am a golden retriever. Though that sermon isn't the subject I will be covering in this entry. For those that are reading my blog posts, you may have noticed my titles almost never seem to make any sense until you've read through what I've written. I do this on purpose, as it provides a catchy way of getting you guys to read them, and it just makes it more fun for me, even if the entries have a more serious attitude about them.

Anyway, on with the real reason for this entry. Proverbs 19.....wow, it was a rather interesting chapter with a whole lot to learn, so much so that it was difficult to pick out only one or two verses that really stuck out more than the others. I ended up with four in the end.

The first of these verses is Proverbs 19:1 - "It is better to be poor and honest than to be a fool and dishonest." This is really quite hard to swallow, as it seems to be the general tendency of human nature to want to live in comfort, wealth, and sound health, but if you are a fool about it, and live a life filled with lying, cheating, and manipulating to get to that point, this is saying it would be better for you to have nothing, yet keep your honesty and your uprightness. It is completely counter-cultural to what this world says life should be. I think about this and the complaining I do about how little I get paid at my job for the work that I do, which this is a fact that the pay is not what it should be, but I've been seeking out other jobs that have better pay and continue to fail in acquiring one. What this is telling me is that there must be a reason I still work there, that I have not finished what I am supposed to do there, or maybe God is wanting to change my character, and how I treat things and accept things, even the pay that I get. All I know is that I do my best to be honest in all that I do, and I have been blessed thus far.

The second verse that stuck out to me was right after the first...Proverbs 19:2 - "Zeal without knowledge is not good; a person who moves too quickly may go the wrong way." This verse really caught my attention as I've made this mistake a few times before, that my zeal for doing what I thought was right ended up backfiring on me and causing more damage than good.

Proverbs 19:15 was the third verse, which correlated with yesterday's entry about being lazy. It reads, "A lazy person sleeps soundly --- and goes hungry." I took this more in a literal sense rather than an application to all parts of life, in that there have been plenty of times where I would be too lazy to cook up something that might take only 15 minutes to fully cook up, and instead would end up not eating anything until later at work, or when my mom would get home and fix something to eat, or bring something home for dinner.

Finally, Proverbs 19:22 - "Loyalty makes a person attractive. And it is better to be poor than dishonest." Again, the idea of being without is better than to be dishonest and have stuff is brought up, but what caught my attention more was the idea of loyalty. This would tie in with what I have been learning about true friendship, that a true friend is loyal, like a brother and sticks closer than a brother. It is often overlooked, but after reading that verse and analyzing friendships and the loyalty of people in the past, myself included, that this verse does hold true. Loyalty is attractive, it draws people to itself because it is refreshing to see in a world where trust is hard to find. This is also where my title comes in, as golden retrievers by nature are very loyal to their masters/owners. I know in my own life I can see my loyalty, though not nearly as much as I would like it to be, but my loyalty surpasses a number of my other traits. As for the attractive part, well I'm not sure on that, except that I know that my loyalty to the usher ministry has brought about a lot of wonderful friends, both inside and outside the ministry.

Well that concludes this devotion, and on top of that, from what I learned in the last devotion, I found myself not being as lazy as I used to be. I had wanted to skip out on doing a few things at work, but I couldn't bring myself to do that like I used to do. It makes me happy to know that these verses are sinking in and affecting my life. 

I always find it so amazing when doing devotions that God will speak to you about your personality traits, your habits, and other areas of your life that He wants changed. I, by nature, have been a lazy person; more than most, less than some. Anyway, continuing my devotion theme, I read Proverbs chapter 18 today. Not far in to the devotion I come upon a very convicting verse. Proverbs 18:9 reads, "A lazy person is as bad as someone who destroys things." Wow! My being lazy is equated to someone who finds enjoyment in tearing things apart rather than putting things together. This is the total opposite of the nature of God. God thrives and relishes in making people whole, bringing those that are lost, broken, uncared for in to a place where they are loved. Satan, the destroyer of lives, is what laziness is equated to, since lives are "things" as well. It's quite hard to swallow that being lazy is equated with evil itself.

Also, as a continuation from yesterday's devotion, the following verse from Proverbs 18:24 says, "There are 'friends' who destroy each other, but a real friend sticks closer than a brother." This verse challenges me even more about becoming a true friend to someone. It is also teaching me what it means to be a true and real friend.

Well, since I've started refocusing my eyes upon our Savior, it seems as though it is ineffective, but I know that isn't the case as I have just started doing this for really the first time in my life, so seeing the full effects of what is truly going on, and putting forth the effort to do so is making changes for the future, things I will see come to fruition eventually. I do know this much though, that I am more aware and conscious of how I behave and handle myself in situations, and it has only been a couple of days. From what I learned yesterday, and applying it to my life, I have remembered those verses and they dwell in my heart and remind me when I begin to behave in a manner contrary to those verses. My convictions are getting stronger which is a good thing. 

Well, last week was a pretty crummy week for me. For some odd reason I decided not to do my daily devotions. Little did I know what I would be in for throughout the rest of the week. I ended up feeling quite horrible, inadequate, worthless, lonely, and a multitude of other feelings which were brought about by giving in to the temptations that were put before me because my guard was down from not having been in the Word and prayer like I had been doing. Even worse, I became angry when I did not do well at a bowling tournament on Saturday. Thankfully it wasn't expressed toward any individuals, though it does not excuse that I used swear words, and generally had a bad attitude towards my bowling.

So that was my "Friday" as Pastor Jim had preached on a couple weeks ago. It was much to my relief that Pastor Jim preached on Sunday, especially given that the sermon was solely about temptation, and how to deal with it. That entire message had my name written all over it and I felt a great burden lifted off my shoulders that day. Those awful feelings I had began to dissipate, and throughout the rest of the day I placed my focus on God, and began to plan how I would spend each day of this week, and of many weeks to come.

This morning (Monday) I dove back in to my devotions, opening with a prayer of thanksgiving and of protection for those that I care about. My devotions, which consist of me reading one chapter from a particular book, starting from the beginning of the book and working my way through each day, one chapter at a time. Currently I've been reading in Proverbs which is a wonderful book to read in as there is so much wisdom there. Today was chapter 17 in the book, and from all the wonderful wisdom within that chapter only two verses jumped out at me, and really challenged me about who I am as a person. These are Proverbs 17:17 - A friend is always loyal, and a brother is born to help in time of need; and Proverbs 17:27 - A truly wise person uses few words; a person with understanding is even-tempered.

The first verse really hit me pretty hard, as even though I have friends, I don't feel that I am always loyal to that friendship, though it isn't the typical definition of loyal that I read in to it. For me it means that I'm not active with the friends that I do have, that I don't try enough to be much of a friend. I really want to take my situation friends, whether they be from church, school, work, recreation, or wherever they're from and actually do things with them, hang out with them, and just be there for them, though at times I am not sure how to do those things.

The second verse relates more to how I behave and act at work and at the bowling alley. I try to be even-tempered, cool-headed, or whatever other synonym that can be used there, however quite often situations come up where I lose that cool, and it is difficult for me to have that understanding. I'm also quite wordy, and more often than not will say something without thinking and end up getting myself in trouble, or even hurting a friendship/relationship with someone, just because I couldn't keep my mouth shut.

I found it very interesting how much more aware of these things I was, and even caught myself falling in these areas after-the-fact, and when I did catch myself, I shut my mouth right away until I could be certain I would not say or do anything foolish.

Well, I'm looking forward to what will go on tomorrow and how I will be able to keep my focus on God for this next day. 

For anyone that has seen "Pirates: At World's End" then you know what I am referring to. If you haven't, don't worry, I won't spoil anything about the movie.

Many times in life we face some rather difficult challenges where the answer or solution to a problem is not at all what you would think would be the way to go about the circumstance. Such circumstances could be looking for a new job, meeting new people, starting new relationships, or even your relationship with God.

I personally have been through each of those situations above. When I was out looking for my first job, I would just go to different places that had "Now Hiring" signs and go apply. Well none of those places called back. I had even been dedicated to going back and checking one job for 6 months, to see if something opened up, yet nothing, and on top of that I had heard other people were hired on in between time. Anyway, I was pulling straws at this point, with really only one place left to go apply to, McDonald's. It was probably my last, last place to want to go work at, but I decided to pray about it, and prayed that if this was where I was to work, then something about an interview would be said. So I went in and asked for an application, and the manager on duty informed me that they had interviews on Monday's at 3pm. Well that had settled it for me. It hasn't made much sense why I was working there, other than looking back at all the lives I'd come in contact with and how many people, after I was transferred to a different store, missed seeing me. That in itself made work more than just a job.

I have always been a quiet, shy, reserved person so when it came to meeting new people, I was always at the back of the room keeping to myself. The one thing that I have found though when it comes to meeting new people is that in order to do it, you just gotta get out there and do it and not worry about what other people think. Yes this is harder than it sounds, believe me I know. A couple of things have changed that for me, one is working with the public, the other, uhsering at church. See in both circumstances I encounter people all the time. These weren't necessarily outcomes I had seen ahead of time, but more of a byproduct of wanting to do something. Plugging in to a ministry allows you to meet new people, and get to know them quite well. Not only do you get to know the people you're working with, but also the people you interact with because of the ministry.

Hooboy, starting a relationship with some can be quite a daunting task because there is quite a bit of delicacy that must be taken when approaching this. For me, my first and only relationship I had was introduced to me through friends of her's that pretty much just flat out said I should ask her out. Even then, knowing what I knew, it was still very difficult for me to do so. As it is, I am still in the learning process on this one, and I have much to learn.

When it comes to my relationship with God, and how I got to where I am at right now (though still in the growing process by far), it took something so drastic that I hope to never go through that again to wake me up. It took the break-up of that very relationship that I had, and also all the guilt and sins that were associated with that relationship that shouldn't have been there in the first place. It was by far the lowest point in my entire life, and yet God met me there. It took me ruining the relationship in order to wake me up, which is quite sad. I had broken or abandoned all of the morals and standards I had held so dear and so high and God said that was enough. He showed me how far off I was, and that I couldn't do it on my own, and by God's grace there is no more hatred between me and her.

So, I guess what I'm saying here is that the solution to a problem may not always make sense, but don't throw it out because, and though it may be a bit overused, it holds true what is said in Romans 8:28 - "for God causes all things to work together for good, to those who love Him and are called according to his purposes." 

George Orwell's quite popular book, "1984", depicts a future with these very concepts in mind. Although the only real concept we lack are efficient flying automobiles (like in the Jetson's). 1984 was the year I was born and 23 years later we're continuing to fulfill Orwell's "prophesy" of the future. I've personally never read the book, though I have heard some about it, so discussion about topics covered I would not be adequately able to uphold.

However, despite these theories that Orwell had back in the 1940's when he wrote this book, the underlying ideals that I see that have come from this book make me think, at least this is what I gather from what I've been told. It makes me reflect on my life, and how we as Christians have been given a book about the future, a blueprint on how to live, and how life should be lived. Yet when I examine my own life I don't really see my life lining up with that blueprint all that much. Much like Orwell's prophetic book depicts the future, it is almost more of a manual and a standard or guideline to live up to, that had we not done what was foretold in his book, that we'd be missing out, missing our opportunity to live up to what the expectation was. If this is truly the case, then parallel thoughts can be attributed to the Bible and the Christian walk. I won't say I haven't grown and learned and become more like the blueprint we've been given, but I can say without doubt that I am a lot further off of where I want to be.

23 years have passed in my life and yet in that time I have wasted so many opportunities, living for myself more than for God. Despite growing up in a Christian home for as long as I can remember, I found great difficulty accepting that lifestyle. I had first raised my hand to be a child of God when I was in Sunday School at age 7, at least that's when I first remember doing so. Yet not knowing what it really meant, I continued to dedicate myself every year after that until I was informed by a man I came to admire. His name was Tony Fox. He would eventually be the Royal Rangers Challengers leader for a while and I would be under his command in that program. But even though I had made the conscious choice to accept Christ, I really didn't live like I had for quite some time. Well more like almost 8 or 9 years. My entire teen years were filled with just going to church, enjoying the youth groups and then being who I wanted to be during the week. Yet little did I know that even though I wasn't serving God, or really living for Him as I should have been, He still molded and shaped me. I see it only now that I am living for Him as I have been this past year and a half. And He continues to mold and shape me, stretch me and press me in to who He truly wants me to be. I just hope to continue to make the most of what I can out of the years in my life to come, should God tarry in his return.