MyChurch: kirstenb's Profile

...with a testimony as long as a novel, I am living proof that God can save anyone and deliver anyone from anything. I spent decades drenched in self-hatred, depression, and self-destruction. In attempt to escape the unbearable inner pain and turmoil that brewed inside me, I made bad choices (drugs, alcohol, bad relationships, cults, pornography, etc.)

After trying everything, including failing as a young Christian, nothing worked for me. I knew there was a God, but just couldn't get to Him. Year after year I prayed, "Dear God, please save me - then kill me". I felt too ruined to be a "Christian " and preferred death to the stress of constant failure. But God, in his saving grace had other plans....

After getting angry with God for not taking my life, I went on a fierce pursuit of trying to find the “true” God (minus the hypocrisy of organized religion). I spent 10-years studying world religions, new age, and other spiritual practices, both on a personal and collegiate level. Because of past hurts (I was sexually abused by a youth pastor when I was in high school), I really didn't like Christians and steered more towards Hinduism. I vowed to never step in another church, especially a "Christian" church. To me Christians were people with plastic smiles, cheezy "lingo", and phony lifestyles that inflicted hurt on people in the name of God. But no matter how much I tried to make Hinduism my religion, it never feel completely right.

I started facing many trials in my life...unexpected pregnancy, no support from the father, job loss, death of a friend, my father's death...I had no idea where to live, how to raise a child, or where to go to for help. But, things just kept working out (I know now it was because people praying for me).

The most recent chapter of my life starts here... While on a mad hunt for the right school to send my son to, and after all other prospects feel through, I was led to Valley School at VBF. Reluctantly, I enrolled my son in the pre-school. I was terrifed. I didn't want him to be "ruined" like I was. But, within a month of being there, I saw amazing changes in his little personality and sensed God had a calling on his life. He beamed with love and made it a daily point to tell me he was a "fisher of men" and "was going to catch me for Jesus". His sincerity not only touched my heart, but also broke through a lifetime a pain and suffering. I rededicated my life to the Lord. We are now memebers of VBF, work in the children's ministry, and he will be 2nd grade in the fall at Valley Schools.

If God can save me, he can save anyone! Keep praying for those you love!