|
|
 |
|
| |
As some of you know, I used to do articles for a local church magazine. My slot was called "Food For Thought." The articles written consisted of no more than 250 words - the average size of a piece of A4 paper - landscape style.
There was one time I got rather racked off - and they edited my message to the max without any warning whatsoever and took out what should have been left in. The message was titled "Faith Doesn't Grow In A Land Of Plenty", and it was where I almost lost my life in hospital after having reconstructive surgery that literally changed my life forever. It was also when I started to write seriously to get people to wake up to what was going on around them. I also want to mention that I was a Christian, but not in the sense that I am today. I was a "religious" Christian; not a real one. And sometimes (not always) we can go to a church that will block you from ever becoming what God intends for you to be. I don't say that in an arrogant way, I say that in a real way. People can live groundhog day every day, and its all based on what messages people listen to - and whether those messages encourage you or flatten you. And sometimes churches base their messages on "goose-bump" stuff only - rather than the real stuff.
I was instant messaging to a friend we all know so well, Bubbles. Whilst we were IM..ing, I briefly touched on my experience in hospital, and she asked me, have I ever written about this on my-church? Well I have mentioned something about it in the past, but not gone into real depth about the situation. So when I woke up this morning - I thought about it. So looking back at what I had written, I thought I'd do a bit of editing myself, and put back in what the editor left out. But first of all, what I am about to write about - happened a few months after the event when I had time to reflect on it. So here it is:
Faith in a land of plenty doesn't need any faith at all. Faith only grows when we're put under pressure. Faith is when everything is drought-stricken, and faith only grows under certain circumstances. Edit number one by the editor.
I had a faith experience of the NDE kind. For those that are not acquainted with NDE, its called "Near Death Experience", and my close encounter was not a happy one. It was dark, soundless - where a person could scream their lungs out and nobody here's them. The close encounter and it not being a happy one, and the dark, soundless - where a person can scream their lungs out was edited out by the Editor.
A friend who I met whilst in hospital pressed the panic button - cos I couldn't do it for myself because I was out for then count. The nurses came over and I was immediately put back on my bed and the curtains were drawn around me. For the next - what seemed like hours, I had one-to-one care. I was in pain, fighting for breath - and my stomach just blew up like I was 6 months pregnant with all the poison that was building up inside me, and for a moment in time - my body just shut down. The friend comment was left in.
The following morning I was rushed back down to theatre - which happened to be on my 41st birthday. Unknowing to me, the friend who I met whilst in hospital started praying, and before going under anaesthetic I said a little prayer to myself. "Please don't let them do it God." The "rushed back down to theatre on my 41st birthday" was left in, and my praying about it was left in. So was my friend who was praying about it left in.
I went into hospital weighing 11 stone 4lbs and came out weighing 9 stone 2lbs. That was left in.
As my brother-in-law drove down the motorway after everything had been put back together and being discharged from the hospital, tears welled-up in my eyes, and I couldn't believe I could be so happy in seeing loads of traffic on the motorway - because only 10 days earlier I was on death's door - staring hell right in the face. Driving down the motorway, tears welling up, and seeing loads of traffic was left in. The rest was edited.
5 days after being discharged from hospital - I went to bible study group, and nobody knew who I was until I opened my mouth right at the end of bible study group. And if people were to have looked at my arms - it looked as if I were a drug addict because I had bruises all up and down my arms because I has so much stuff pumped into me to keep me going whilst I was in hospital. "I went to bible study group" was left in. The rest, a bit of re-editing was done to draw an illusion to.
The final comment was, God said to me "you got what you wanted, but I didn't say it was going to be easy." "What you wanted" was left in. The rest was left out.
____________
So now let me put together what was actually written in the magazine. The title of the message remained untouched.
I had a faith experience of the NDE kind. For those not acquainted with NDE its called "Near Death Experience. I went in weighing 11 stone 4 lbs - and came out weighing 9 stone 2lbs.
A friend of mine who I met up with whilst in hospital prayed for me - because everything was going wrong, and I was rushed back down to theatre on my 41st birthday and operated on for the second time. I prayed "don't let them do it to me God." I won't say what they were planning to do, but they didn't do it. When travelling back on the motorway after being discharged from hospital, I had tears welling up because I was so happy to see traffic.
I started going back to bible-study group within a week, where people were pleased to see me, and my faith grew because I got what I wanted. Faith grows in a land of plenty. Praise God.
Needless to say, about 6 months down-the-line the magazine collapsed through lack of interest. Strange thing about it is, they asked me if I wouldn't mind taking over the running of it...oh yeah? As I looked around me - I thought to myself, you must be joking! Eventually people did get to know what happened, but I wasn't allowed to say it puiblically. It was said privately, behind closed doors - and in a controlled atmosphere. Last paragraph or two.
The thing I'm trying to get across here, we can present an illusion so much - that we forget what it took to get there. *Praise the Lord", "Hallelujah" and so on. But to present an article where its all "happy-clappy" stuff is the greatest illusion of them all.
Whilst recuperating after surgery, I popped back into work to say hello, and my friends Sue and Mary burst out crying because I'd lost so much weight. My skin just hung off me, and my eyes just seemed to sink into my head. I was a skeleton on legs. The on-site nurse was a bit gobsmacked as well, because they all expected to see me as the "me" I was before I went into hospital. You see, they all kept in touch - and they all knew what had happened. The doctors said it would be 6 months before I was able to go back to work, but I made it back within 7 weeks after coming out of hospital. And I must admit, I liked the bit of attention - because they kept feeding me up to put weight back on me. You see, the department I worked in, if one person was troubled - it affected the rest, and they started rallying round to help them. It was like one BIG family. To this day, I have never forgotten any of those friends because they supported me when nobody else did. The same happened when Mary's husband died of cancer at the age of about 46. It didn't just affect Mary, it affected all of us.
When I had my NDE, its the closest I want to get to hell. I'll tell you something else as well. When I came back - and to this day, I started whistling a different tune. Hell is not an illusion.
|
| |
| |
Isn't it ironic when people mention the word "change" how it becomes deathly quiet. Somehow we develop a stammer, not verbally speaking - but mentally speaking. And although people recognise the need for change, it comes almost last on the list when it comes to implementing it. So let's take our religious glasses off and see it from Jesus' point of view. In Matthew 23 - Jesus talked about the need for change.
Well, I don't know what "woe" means, but there's a catalogue of them when it comes to Christian leaders (Scribes and Pharisees). And although we don't use those terms today, Scribes and Pharisees are alive and kicking, especially in the church. Firstly, they are people that take note of everything you say, tell others what to do, but won't do it themselves. Secondly, although they know it to be true, they won't recognise it. Thirdly. Whatever they're being challenged about, rather than pursue the need for change, they will do everything in order to not change.
Well I don't know if people picked-up on it or not in my last blog, but when a new kid on the block stepped into town and took over the beer company and started to change things, there was a massive outcry - and petitions shot up all over the place - and thousands signed it. Although not a blanket statement, if the same was to applying within the church environment, the same could apply. "We've done this since so-and-so a day" so on and so forth, and people would petition for it to stay the same.
Now I am fully aware that Americans are more tuned-in to do with their faith than the UK are. After all, you've had Christian programming since the year dot. In the UK, its only happened within the last 12 years. Fair enough, we have "Songs of Praise" on the BBC on a Sunday night, and if we're quick, we'll have something on a Sunday morning. But as far as full-time Christian programming is concerned, none until 12 years ago. Even radio stations (which predominantly speaking consist of UCB and Premier Radio), when it comes to renewing their license, they have to fight for it to keep on the airwaves. In America, there's Christian radio stations all over the place! So as far as faith and culture goes, there's a gulf between us.
Whether people recognise it or not, in each of my messages I try to narrow down that gulf. We come together in one mind, one spirit and one agenda, to reach people. I am also fully aware whenever I switch on my TV to catch up on the news every day, there is a need and a hunger for change. But instead of it changing for the better, its changing for the worse. People are crying out for justice. People are crying out for peace, people are crying out to be loved and accepted, but they're just not getting it. In the meantime, the church preaches about justice, it preaches about peace, and it preaches about being loved and accepted. But the thing about it is, on the same side of the coin, people are just not getting it. Well I may be an idiot when I write this, but why?
In this modern-day world with its modern-day thinking when it comes to problems, people (especially young people) will go to the doctors, they'll go to counselling sessions, they'll take prescription medication - and others not prescribed. They'll even take illegal drugs, go on drink binges, harm themselves (and others) and contemplate or even commit suicide, but they won't go to church - that based on the Word of God - and over a period of time, could solve their problems. Oh do I wish I knew then what I know now, because a lot of problems could have been solved that I lived with for years. And the messages I write about, I did not hear from behind a pulpit. It came from listening to people at grass-root level, studying the bible and applying it into people's lives. But before I did any of that, I had to apply it within my own - because what's the point of saying something - when you've never been there yourself? Its the difference between head knowledge and heart knowledge. In certain circumstances I could whack out a blog with a lot of head knowledge - and my computer could light up like a Christmas tree with all the responses. But if I applied that exact head knowledge and couple it with heart knowledge, it can become deathly quiet. People know what I mean, but...
Like I've mentioned in a couple of blogs previously, I have folders with messages I've written in them. On the front of every folder is written this: the church needs to wake up! The church is not a building; its the people in it. It is a reminder to myself of what I am doing, and more importantly - why I'm doing it. Firstly its to glorify God. Secondly, its for other people. So as I close off this message, I want people to think about other people. I want people to take their religious glasses off with their "holier than thou" attitude, and get down to grass-root people and connect with them in a real way. And although the Word of God remains the same, the way in which we put across that message needs to change. Just take time-out for 5 minutes and read Matthew 23 - and then look in the mirror and see if any of it applies to us. We may not come out with any words, but the heart will speak volumes. And as it says in Proverbs 4:23 [NIV] Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.
Sometimes (and I don't know why) we have guarded it so much that its become a fortress. For the right reasons we don't allow anything to penetrate in, but for wrong reasons, we don't allow anything to come out. At the same time when listening to people, we know what to say - but we just won't say it. So next time we stammer at the word "change", listen to our heart and heed what its saying. If people don't sense the need for change, say it. If people sense the need for change, say it. But one thing people can't deny when sensing something and everything is going belly-up, they never read it first - right here, right now. And the first question we must ask ourselves of why people don't choose church as their first resort rather than their last (if that), is why?
|
| |
| |
I answered Kathy's comment this morning in my last blog, and it spun me off to thinking about new kids on the block. New kids on the block have new ways of thinking, new ways of doing stuff that do not quite fit into traditional ways of doing stuff. Let me branch off for a couple of seconds, but don't worry - I'll come back to my point by the end of this blog.
In the early 80's over here, CB radio hit the airwaves, and depending on where people lived, depended on what name they put on it. For example, where I live was called Coffee Town, because the main employment area was coffee. The next village from where I live was called Glass Town - because the main area of employment was hand-crafted cut-glass crystal. Further on from that was Rubber Town, and guess what, they produced tyres in that area. And further on from that was Beer Town - because the main area of employment in that area was producing beer. And here's a history lesson for you. If I look out my bedroom window, three fields away there is a Castle whereby Mary Queen of Scots was beheaded. If you google it, I'm a gnats breath away.
Now focusing on Beer Town, the company got took over by an American consortium, and where once was a giant triangle - lies something else. Fair enough, the people of the town took a deep breath and accepted the new sky-line symbol that could be seen for miles around. This year, the American consortium touched what was considered the Holy Grail of town life - and they closed down the museum because it was far too expensive to run, and the famous Shire horses that were known throughout were put into retirement.
As far as town folk were concerned, that was a bridge too far, and the local newspaper took up the fight to keep it open - and thousands signed their petition. This caused a bit of a re-think. As far as the American consortium was concerned - what was part of our heritage - wasn't part of their heritage. So the battle now goes on to keep what was our heritage alive - compared to something they just inherited. Get my meaning so far? This battle has gone right to the Houses of Parliament where one Member of Parliament has taken up the fight. Now let me swing this messages around from old mindsets - compare to new ways of thinking.
As people full-know, the Israelites spent 40 years in what is considered to have been an 11-day trip. And the reason God kept them in that place, although they were slaves, they kept thinking of the good old days. When Moses died, God had to tell them he was dead. Seems strange He had to tell them that, considering they'd been mourning his death for 30 days. Then suddenly there was a new kid on the block who said, we ain't going to hang around here no more for the next 40 years. We're going to go in there come hell or high water in the next couple of days.
Now I may be as blind as a bat when I write this, but it doesn't quite tell you why only two entered into the land that was promised them. It only tells you that thousands (even millions) were promised it, but only two entered into it. That was Joshua and Caleb. Next paragraph.
There are too many people trying to re-invent the wheel - instead of taking hold of the wheel and using it for what it had been invented for. The blue print was there all the time, it just took somebody to fashion it and adapt it for use. In the same way, we have the blue print for life written in the bible. But some people only read the bible - instead of taking what's read in the bible and fashioning it and adapting it to modern-day circumstances/living/situations in life etc. Next paragraph.
My music tastes are varied. In the Christian world, my music tastes are Michael W Smith and Steven Curtis Chapman. The reason I like their music is because they're talking an old message and repackaging it to appeal to a wider audience. But whether musically or not, there are some people who will only stick by the old messages and the old way of thinking. Problem is, the new kids on the block are not relating to it. Therefore, given time, it is dying an old and agonising death. In the same way, people of the older generation are implanting old mindsets into young people's minds. But these people are questioning it because they can't relate to it. Its like I have written quite a few times in my blogs, people are more tuned-in now than they ever were. Next paragraph.
As a child - my mother used to say to me, don't go through that gate because Jack Frost will get you, and I used to spend ages looking through the crack in the gate to see if I could spot Jack Frost. The same went for the tooth fairy, and the same went for Santa Claus. Nowadays, nobody says anything about Jack Frost, the tooth fairy don't exist, and as for Santa Claus, well... fill in the blank. So what does the message of Jesus Christ say to people to make people believe that its true? Next paragraph.
There's a difference between an inheritance and a legacy. An inheritance is what people pass on. A legacy is what people leave behind.
Now I may be the only person on this planet that thinks like this, but we as a church have inherited a lot of stuff, but we have forgotten the concept of what we leave behind. Example. You may be a Christian, but are your children? Another example. You may have faith as small as a mustard seed, but have you planted it? The thing I'm trying to get across here is that the younger generation have got to see something before they believe it. And I know what people are going to say about that. Faith is based on things unseen. Now here's the thing. In the expanse of time, that faith that's as small as a mustard seed eventually sprouts roots and begins to grow. Eventually it is seen. Its the things people have hoped for, dreamed of and inspired to become. And like I've said so many times, no drive-thru break-throughs - because if you inspire to be like someone, you may have to go through what they went through in order to get it. Next paragraph.
Faith as small as a mustard seed if left in the packet - will remain in the packet. For generations we have passed on that packet that has remained in the packet. Although not a blanket statement, not once have we planted it anywhere, but we expect people to believe it. The end result is that people don't see any results, therefore they stop believing in it. Now here's where the swap-over comes from believing in something - to seeing the results. Its the inheritance verses the legacy. Next paragraph.
Jesus spent a lot of time talking about inheritance, but He left behind a legacy. 2,000 plus years later - that legacy carries on. And the reason people believe it is because they've seen the results. Now here's the thing. Religion will not teach you that. But if people studied the life that Jesus died to give people, it will. Last paragraph or two.
In this fast-paced world we live in today, people want drive-thru breakthroughs, and if people don't get it straight away - they'll be hell to pay. We promote things, we say things that at the end of the day - we can't deliver. In effect we're saying that we can grow hair on a billiard ball. And people all over the place are offering billiard balls to people saying it will grow hair.
If people studied their bibles carefully, the only time there was a drive-thru breakthrough was when there was a miracle. The rest had to go through. Now going through is not exactly saying to people that you can grow hair on a billiard ball. But it could be considered to being closer to the truth. If miracles happen, fine. But if they don't happen, that's got to be fine also.
For a lot of years I listened to stuff that promoted "billiard ball" messages. And the thing about it is, it never happened. I am in effect an anti-billiard ball preacher. In this instant quick-fix, give it all to me now mentality, I will preach a message that in order to get through - you've got to go through. It is a message that in the "religious" world people cannot understand. But in the real world - they can. And believe it or not, I have in effect taken hold of the wheel that was already invented, and taken hold of what's written in the bible and repackaged it. Its the same message that comes at stuff from a different angle. Faith as small as a mustard seed will grow if you plant it. And once planted, is what's passed on, to what is left behind. Its an inheritance verses a legacy. Last paragraph.
The bible is full of stories of legacies and inheritances. They passed on something, but they also left something behind. That's what makes it so believable. The legacy was for those people who took it to the next level. I'm passing on something so people can take it to the next level, and hopefully (and here's where faith kicks in) I'm planting something and leaving something behind once I've done it. I don't want people to be like those Israelites that lived and died in the wilderness. I want people to be like Joshua and Caleb. They saw it, believed it and stepped into it. Here end my message on new kids on the block.
|
| |
| |
Whenever I see nature programmes, there's one creature that always fascinates me. That creature is known as the chameleon. Whenever one is spotted, it always seems to blend in with its background. So before I go on, let me pose a question here. Although it blends in with its background, does it change what it is?
For a couple of weeks now (maybe longer) I have been changing the way I write about things. Some people like it - some people don't, but the core-root of my messages remains the same - and its anchored in the core-root Word of God that never changes.
Every week, we in the village and surrounding areas have a freebie newspaper delivered, and buried within the first couple of pages was an article of a church that had just been granted £32,000 to update it, restore it or whatever. But what amazed me the most - it only has a regular church congregation of just two. Also in the news article was a statement that people regarded it as the focal point of the village - and something that must be preserved. Suggestions were made, that besides using it as a church, it could be used as a community centre, a meeting place and so forth. So as I read the article, a thought flashed through my head. Isn't that church what church is supposed to be all about? And although just a personal opinion, considering only two people turn up on a regular basis, it could be considered the dead centre of the village, and the only captive audience are those that are buried six-foot under. Next paragraph.
Have any of you read the flyers that appear on my-church? One of them says, giving in the church has not changed in 40 years. But the thing about it is, everything has changed around it in those 40 years. And here's another but. Although "the church" has the ability to change, its either unable to - or it refuses to. In the meantime, things are getting worse and people's lives are being screwed up. So its refusal to adapt to its surroundings - ends up in a lot of mess. Another example.
A couple of years ago - a church in the next village from me spent a lot of money restoring their church, but the one thing they kept was the organ to remind them of the good old days. As an observer - I saw all this restoration work going on, and they absolutely gutted the place, but the one thing they kept was the organ. And the people that go there - having been going there for 30 or 40 years, but not one time has new blood entered into the building. That to me presents a problem. How do you expect a church to survive, when nobody new is coming in? Now let me wade into this message about the chameleon.
I have always regarded the church as not being a building; but the people in it. So branching off from that, if people don't blend in and adapt to their surroundings, what will be left of it in 10, 20 or even 30 years time when we have all left the planet? Last paragraph or two.
The Word of God is the same, but the messages need to change. Not only do they need to change to appeal to people "like us" - but to those who are not like us. In a nutshell, although messages need to change, the core-root value of what we believe in must remain unchanged. So I pose the same question I posed at the beginning of my message. Like the chameleon who has the ability to blend in with its surroundings, does it change what it is? Think of it in Christian terms. Although we have the ability to blend in with our surroundings, does it change who we are?
It amazed me that £32,000 is being spent on a building to change its appearance, but the mindset of people in it refuses to change. Strange thing about it is, everybody in the village says it needs to change - as its the focal point of the village. And all the suggestions they came up with to change it - is the very thing it should have been doing in the first place. Besides being a church, it should be a community centre and a place of meeting whereby people meet up. Last paragraph.
As the flyer that appears on my-church every-so-often says, giving in the church has not changed in 40 years, and it goes on to say on how to. Well here's one suggestion. Be like a chameleon and learn to adapt to your surroundings. The Word of God remains the same, but the surroundings in which it adapts itself to has to change dramatically. And here's the other thing that remains the same. The need. Here ends my message.
|
| |
| |
Up until a few decades ago - whenever cooking something, after cooking it - came the washing up. And didn't people hate it when it stuck like poop to a pooper scoop - and you scrubbed for ages and ages to try and get it off? Then someone came along and invented something that took all the effort away from scrubbing the darn thing. And before you think it, I'm not on about my cooking techniques, that when I toss the pancake into the air - it sticks to the ceiling. I'm writing about the teflon-coated, non-stick life that people seem to be amune to.
About 4 or 5 blogs back I wrote about offense. To be more precise, being offended or being off-ended. Its something that once slung at you - it sticks just as much as the cooking you did before someone came up with a bright idea of inventing something different.
In each of my writings I come at things in what could be considered a non-religious way. Its from examples, experiences, wisdom techniques (probably), and some of it - just plain common sense. And why do I do that? It comes from all the messages I've heard in the past whereby you'd need a science degree to understand it, and secondly, say what you mean cos I'm tired of guessing! And oh do I hate it when people take time-out to listen to something - and it goes straight over their head - and they come away thinking, what did he say? So hopefully this non-stick message will stick longer than poop does to a pooper scoop, and longer than it takes to do the washing up.
First of all I've done this myself, but I've learnt (and still learning) not to do it myself. As far as the past goes, I can't change one second of what happened. What happened in my childhood, what happened in my boarding school days, and the countless times I was in hospital which were all bad. It took me well into my late 20's - even 30's to fathom that one out - because it all stuck. That sticking fashioned my lifestyle, the way I talked to people - and my reactions towards them. I also took it out on myself - which led to a lot of problems. When all those problems imploded in on themselves - it left me with other problems, and I sank into depression mode, taking anti-depressants, and when all that didn't work, I turned to alcohol. It was a viscious cycle because for a lot of years I was off-ended. Scenario. Next paragraph.
When people have been carrying baggage around with them for a lot of years, has anyone ever pressed your button - and whatever happened, BOOM! you bring it to the forefront? Strange thing about it is, whatever happened doesn't bear any relation to what is happening does it? But people unleash it onto somebody who had no part in it. Another example could be that people don't go to certain supermarkets, superstores - or even a church for that matter - because they had a bad experience. In that example, within a truckload of people, one person offended you. Fair enough, people learn to forgive in the religious sense, but it sticks. That example could include your relationships with people, the friendships you make - or even in a marriage situation. Something happened way-back, the button is pressed, BANG! people go off one one - and bring out all their dirty laundry and stick it all on the clothes hanger to ferment. The thing about fermenting is, after a time - it gets to be a bit old and crusty, and in some quarters - it starts to stink. Another thing about it is, its old and it should be buried, but oh do we like to do a ressurection shuffle and blast it out the coffin again.
A friend of mine once said to me, if you feed it, it will grow. Put it another way. When you think about it, talk about it or even pray about it, you are allowing it just one more breath. So now let me delve into this non-stick lifestyle - when in some areas of life we should allow things to stick, but in other areas of life we should let it go.
James 4:1 [Amplified version]. What leads to strife (discord and feuds) and how do conflicts(quarrels and fighting) originate among you? Do they not arise from your sensual desires that are ever warring in your bodily members?
For the purposes of this message, its not talking about the body of Christ, neither is it talking about the church in which we attend. Its talking about people like you and me as individuals. Its those sensual desires - that once something locks onto it - has a place to go whereby the cycle becomes complete. CRASH, BANG, WALLOP, discord, fueds, exchange of words, quarelling and fighting, and you think to yourself, just press my button and let's have a full-blown arguement about it! Believe it or not, when everything explodes, you're giving it just one more breath.
When looking at James 4 as a whole, its a lesson-and-a-half in itself, and it all hinges on verse one. And when looking at verse three, its a perfect example of not getting your own way, because when you do - you do it with wrong motives. Its to do with getting people (even God) to side with you when you're not getting your own way. Well let me drop a bomshell here. He'll side with you when you choose to give it up. He'll side with you when you stop talking about stuff in a negative way. He'll side with you when you stop looking at your past and dragging it up into your future. And He'll side with you when you start doing something about it in a postive way. Its when people stop thinking about it, talking about it and praying about it - as if He didn't know it in the first place. Last paragraph or two.
You and I were no surprise to God. He knew what we were going to do before we did it, and He knows what we'll do before we do it. So in the area of being offended - or being off-ended, isn't it about time that when something negative happens, we started living a life whereby it doesn't stick, rather than it sticking? Isn't it about time we started revolutionising our thinking whereby just like that person who invented that non-stick cooking utensil, we started developing a non-stick attitude where offense doesn't stick?
Sometimes people cook something up in their head - and it sticks like poop to a pooper scoop. Isn't it about time we started changing it? Let's hope that this message sticks longer than it does when you do your washing up after meal times. Now did that take a science degree to understand it? And hopefully people have understood it because they're tired of guessing. Here ends my message.
|
| |
|
|
Subscribe to this blog
