Liz_and_Anabelle

Be still and know that I am God.
Psalm 46:10
What an amazing verse. I am still learning what that really means.
I have been attending VBF on and off for 12 years. I was saved when I was eight and ran to and from God until I was twenty-seven. I have been through a divorce, partying, having no self-respect and low self-esteem. I "lived" in a bar for the first half of my twenties, until I met my future ex-husband and the father of my beautiful four-year-old daughter Anabelle. We partied and lived together for three years and then we married in January 2004, when I was seven months pregnant with Anabelle. I stopped partying for the duration of my pregnancy and for a year after. Then it started up again in May 2005. Not as bad as before, but it was all the same. It was in December 2005 that I finally grossed out enough on myself and my lifestyle that I chose to stop running from the Truth. I began attending church and a women's bible study regularly. I became involved in ministry and God sent me the true friends that I had been praying for. I was divorced in February 2007 after a year of seperation. He kept partying and living for his own satisfaction, and I was chasing after God by that time. I am now raising my daughter as a single parent, something that I never ever wanted to "do" to her. Being a mother is the first thing in my life that I cannot fail at. I cannot just wake up one day and decide that I don't want to do it anymore. It has been so tremendously overwhelming at times. But I have God. He knows specifically how to raise Anabelle. And He will cause all things, good and bad, to come together for His glory and for the changing of my character so that I can be effective in everything I do.
It was at the same time that I decided to turn my back on my old lifestyle, that I began to read the Bible starting in Genesis and working my way through to Revelation. It made sense to read it that way, just like any other book. Slowly but surely I finished in nine months. This was the difference. This was the missing link. I was changed forever from the inside out. Reading the entire Bible, front to back. I now had ALL of God's truth, promises, commandments, and stories of nobody's becoming somebody's. All of this was now living inside of me. The Word of God is living and active and sharp. God looks for those who are seeking Him with all of their heart and desire to be intimate with Him. I am still learning and falling, but I get back up now relying on the strength of God. He is EVERYTHING to me. As my friend Amber put it, my pain tolerance is getting lower: I can only stand to be outside of God's will for shorter lengths of time than before. And that is truly a miracle.