Hi Guys!
John came home this past Thursday night. We were all ready to leave the cancer center and the Dr. came in and tried to talk him into staying. He had two rough days and 3 nights. John convinced them to let him go and we headed home. He looked horrible and felt horrible. Another rough night. Friday morning I texted my group of prayer warrior girls and pastor and they prayed. I continued to pray. Visiting nurses came and asked a hundred questions, took vitals and showed me how to take care of his pick area. Still looking and feeling rough John worked on some financial papers for a few hours and then laid on the couch. Each hour that passed after that he began to feel better. Grand kids got off bus and he begged to see them. Quick hugs and they were on their way. About 4, after finishing my customers I asked him if he would eat something; he said bacon and eggs sounded real good. I didn't think he should have greasy bacon but at least he thought he might so I f ixed them. He wanted more, finally eating half a dozen eggs and half pound of bacon! I was amazed! I truly think with prayer yesterday was a turning point! We see Dr. Eddy on Monday to find out the plan of Phase 2. Continue to pray for John....I believe prayer has been just as important as the chemo in his healing. He is begging to come to church tomorrow but we really need to see what his blood count is before he mingles out and about.
I need to share another story....
Johnna is her dad's daughter. If you know the two of them you will see similarities. But she is also her mother's. Since we 1st heard John had cancer she has been a real trooper. Keeping a brave face and attitude and doing all she can to help us. Very seldom breaking down. At the wedding last week end she was to sing 2 songs. One at the wedding and one at the reception for the bride and groom dance. She did a beautiful job at the wedding...of course one of my favorite things is to hear her sing. There was a mix up at the reception and her CD didn't get to the DJ in time for the bride and groom dance so they moved her to sing after the father daughter dance. As she watched her cousin and uncle dance it all hit her.....no control over her emotions as she watched them and wondered if she would be able to have a dance with her own dad on her wedding day. She was unable to sing the other son g. Sometimes when we least expect it, our emotions come tumbling down. Which I wonder now if that is what happened to me when I went to bring John home. After they agreed to let John come home I went to bring the car around to the front door. As I approached the elevator to go down to the floor that lead to the parking garage there were two ladies there. One in her 70's and one in her late 40's. Getting closer I could hear they both had husbands in the cancer ward. The older was so distraught while the younger seemed to be consoling her. I stood listening as they shared their stories with me. The older's husband had never been sick a day in his life...Never taken a prescription drug....healthier than most men his age. He became sick one day and after many test was diagnosed with AML. They have tried the intense chemo on him twice now and Dr. Cripe had just told her, "Gloria, I am so sorry, there is nothing more I can do." They were sending him home for the weekend and she would then bring him back to die. The younger shared her story. It was her husbands birthday back in July. They had gathered with family and friends to celebrate when he started having severe chest pains. He was taken to the emergency room. They calmed his heart and pain down and admitted him for test. His heart was OK but he too was diagnosed with AML. He also has been through the intense treatment of c hemo. After the first one, he landed in a coma for 3 1/2 weeks. He came out of the coma for another round of intense treatment. That was 3 months ago. He hasn't left the hospital as of yet and he still has the leukemia. They looked at me and asked my story. I updated them and told them we were taking John home. They reminded me how fortunate I was. The older lady started crying and said we just have to hang on to God. I held her while we both cried. The younger and I entered the elevator while leaving the elder heading back to her husband. As my new aquantance got off the elevator she hugged me tight and said a blessing over me..... I couldn't quit crying. I rode the elevator back up to where I was to go to the parking garage. Cried all the way to the car and around to pick up John. They put him in the car and as we drove away he wanted to know what was wrong. When I could finally speak I asked him.....Why can some go home and some have to stay??? I just don't understand.... my head knows God's word but my heart still does not understand. Part of me wanted to go back up to the 3rd floor and stay with the older lady and help her face this....here I am....someone that accepted what came my way....knowing God would take care of everything....and yet in such a short time I again look to Him and ask why? I need somehow to make sense of this.....so I search. ; I found different scriptures that all lead to what I knew but wasn't accepting:
Isaiah 55:9 (NIV)
9 “As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.
In the midst of a trial of sickness, it is very difficult to focus on what good God might bring about as a result. God can bring about good from any situation. Many people look back on times of sickness as times when they grew closer to God, learned to trust Him more, and/or learned how to truly value life. This is the perspective God has because He is sovereign and knows the end result.
Romans 8:28 (NIV)
28 And we know that in all things God works for the good
of those who love him, who have been called according
to his purpose.
In my search I found this testimony that really says a lot. We can not see the whole picture of our circumstances. God Can. He knows what will make us better for Him.
A testimony on suffering:
Thank you so much for whoever answered this question, why does God allow sickness. It was very interesting. It is something that all people wonder why. In my case, my husband suffered with a very rare type of brain cancer and is now with the Lord. He passed away on April 17, and was a true blessing to many people. Through his illness, his sister was released from her captivity in a cult, and truly now knows the Lord. Even th ough I was saved, I have a much better understanding of what it means to trust and live a righteous life. It is truly amazing how the Lord uses an illness, or even a death of a loved one. Thank you so much for all the people who answer these questions. It is a true blessing for many people.
My heart will still ache for the people I have met while at the cancer center. But my hope is that through their pains God is using that to reach others. Again I thank each of you for your prayers and for reading my bloggings. Please let me and let others be there for you when you are going through difficult times. I am one that usually sees the glass half full but as time goes on I feel a real urgency for us to all draw closer as a Christian family. Time is growing short for His Return and as a result we will continue to grow through trials as times get more difficult. Continue to pray for all things….big and little.....continue to be there for each other....and above all find the goodness in our Lord.
Blessings and Love to each of you,
Bonnie