I was born sometime on August 23, 1962.  Because I ended up being adopted about 3 years later both me and my twin never saw our real birth certificate but the new one that was amended when we were legally adopted by our biological Aunt and Uncle in 1965. We had one other sister then who was born in 1956 (Rhonda) who would end up in numerous foster homes.  Our oldest brother Robert Jr. also ended up in foster care, and our baby brother Hugh born 3 years after us was legally adopted by another biological set (Aunt-Uncle) and was raised his whole life in Great Falls Montana because Uncle George was in the Air Force.  It would be about 15 years later that we would actually get to meet Rhonda.  I met Hugh under circumstances involving a nasty and bitter abusive marriage that ended up in divorce by me having to relocate to Montana for my own safety where I lived from October 2001 to April 2002.  I could go on and on but I am a walking Lifetime movie and have endured numerous storms.  Both my bio and adoptive fathers are in heaven. I lost my adoptive father to lung cancer when I was only 15 in 1978. This same year I would lose my grandmother and Uncle all within a 3 month period.  My twin Lisa lives about 20 miles from me and we try to talk together a few times during the week.  She has one son Cameron who I also claim since I never had children and can't have them now. 

For many years I wondered if I would die alone after 2 failed marriages and years of abuse involving alcohol and drugs from my 2nd husband.  At that time I would have rather been dead than come home every day from work not knowing how the day would end.  Because my mom died in 1998 after a long battle with heart disease from many years of smoking I had no one to turn to or anywhere to go.  It was a year before her death that I was drawn closer to God than ever before...little did I know he was preparing me for her death to be with him.  She died August 3 1998 ... 3 weeks before my 36th birthday.  Here I was now in a miserable marriage and sadly because of her health I never confided in her what I was going through.  She had enough pain of her own with all the drugs and medicine and hospital confinements where she died after being in the hospital for the last 8 months of her life only weighing 86 pounds.  She always told me not to worry.....let her do the worrying... I hear her say this to this day and always will.

It is 10 years later and I am happy to say that I am married to my soulmate.  Allan and I met in the Summer of 2004 while I was employed at the Billy Graham Evangeslistic Association in Charlotte NC.  During this same year God allowed me to buy my first brand new car ever on my own. (I tell people today that God was my co-signer and truly he was). I had no money for a downpayment and the car I did have was so old and worn out the dealership didn't even want it.
For the first time in many years I was actually happy and could smile again.

Now four years later I am now 46 years old and have just lost my health insurance.  I feel odd not having medical benefits. What do I do if I get sick?  What if???? I can't answer these questions but just pray that I do not get sick or have to go to the hospital.  I realize there are many people in the world today that have never had medical insurance.  WIth that said I also just lost my full time status at work to temporary part time getting now only 16 hours a week.  Im basically driving 42 miles a day to work 16 hours and you know that gas is what it is so I have to stay here until I find another permanent job before I can quit.  God allowed me to find out that I could draw some partial unemployment which is helping me with gas during the week to get to my now part time job.  I have very mixed feelings about my current job status but I know God see's the big picture that I can't.

Because he lives............ I still live.  Many times I didn't want to live but now I see why he kept me alive.

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