I’m born again! So glad to be born again, by the will of God, by His call. He was always there.  He planned it out, He knew the day that He would come and give me a first touch! 

I love you my Lord, even now, this day, when I am pouting, have been pouting for a good month plus. I love you. I know its senseless to pout. To be angry with you. Still, still..

 

I need a touch Lord,  it seems unfair sometimes.. that you come – lay your hands on me.. and your glory passes through me sending waves through me.. weakening me in a wonderfully joyful, peaceful state of weakening. But then, like a whiff of wind, your gone. And I need to live out my days on the remembrance and knowledge of that one special touch.!  I know even as I speak it Lord, that this is not entirely true.

 

You’re there. When I faithfully come to you, when I am passionately pursuing you, and then lay out my requests.. there you are! Through scripture you speak, clearly, awesomely. Awesome, because you make it so-oo apparent in the scripture you place in the front of my eyes, that you are giving me direct answer.  More than this, you confirm twice over, that I may know that I know!

 

Still, the unexpected happens.  Oppression needs to be lived out, passed through… while I wait on you. And then, when I think I’ve seen deliverance, when I’ve praised you for deliverance… punch! Punch! I thought I was seeing complete turn around to the oppression when you removed the oppressor.. I thought that your we’re restoring all things… but instead.. instead! Doesn’t your scripture tell me Lord, “You will no longer be shamed!

 

I am speaking of a story that is now over 1 year old since that surprising punch came Lord.  I humbly took the blow. Continued in my work, continued to come there, grasping on to the joy of the Lord.  As best I could with that smile you’ve given me to give! As best I could with a dancing step!  But I noticed that the original song I had in me when I first came to this place of employment, was weakened. I noticed that I was tired.. tired by the oppression, and what seemed unfair results.. when I was passed over.  Unfair, when I was in all practical sense told, I love the cockroach more than I love you, denise!   That is how I read what was said Lord, by her whom I respect, whom I admire in her giving, who replaced the oppressor, and through whom I thought you would give full deliverance. Not another blow!

 

Was it really a humbling, that I kept silent, and continued on?  Since I can see that residue is there.  A pain Lord that has left me feeling weak and old.  I was so pleased and thankful Lord, when you gave me this place of work.  I was so grateful! Saw it as a spacious place, grand! More than I could hope for.  But you knew in advance, what was to come! I signed into work leaving a smiley face and wave for my peers every day! I sang in the hallways! I danced like a silly woman for the residents. I prayed an awakening of  Holy Spirit life every morning on my way to my work.  I prayed that you would show me whom needed a touch, a word of encouragement, a gospel word of truth – and you did so!

 

But, Lord! Though I have been silent with you on this issue, for the most part, now I see. That inside, it has hurt me! I am still pained by it all. I feel my age plus 20! I feel defeated. Lord, now above these things, I have accumulated hatred from a peer, which weakens me more!

 

So, I have been pouting of late! I’ve been staying away from you. I’ve not been able to read my Word. Read ‘you’!   I know its all very silly to pout from my God, my Saviour, my Lord, my love. The one I trust in! The one I know does all things well!

 

But emotions are what they are, Lord ! They speak the truth! Not the truth of faith, I understand, that says, by grace all things are well. No! just the truth of where I am. 

 

I’ve thought I was passing through it humbly, Lord. Submissively Lord! And, that I would come to joy, strength, will, again. But, it was a fool’s gold! I being the fool!

I no longer find it in me to leave a waving smiley in logging in! And though I give still to the residents at my work, there is a lagging in me.  And my work suffers – more forgetfulness, some dreariness!

 

This is the truth of what is inside Lord, that I speak to you today!  Perhaps its what you’ve been waiting on.  Yes, I’ve talked to you some about this.  But today, I spill it out tearfully! Wrenching tears! I feel old Lord. Older than my days, my years! I have thought that there’s a call on me, to move onward into that ministry, you know! The ministry call, I’ve thought I’d heard.. that was to come at a time when I was more aged. Today, I am more aged.  And, I have seen what I’ve thought to be the door opening.  But I feel weak, old, vulnerable, incapable – all knowledge attained to do this work grown stale!

 

I know your scripture Lord! That you use the weak to confound the strong! That in weakness you may then show your glory! But here I am, feeling stumped, needing a great touch from you.  To come out of this stalemate if you will!

 

Have I asked you much! I said, Lord, give me ½ an hour with you… somewhere’s in the 4^th heaven, wherever that 4^th heaven may be? Just on a higher plane, with you! You, speaking to me what I need today.. and your presence touching me in such a way that renewing comes in my bones, in my spirit.  But it seems you’ve said, No! In my mind, I’m thinking ½ an hour to me, can be accomplished in a few seconds by you. A few seconds of your touch would be as an hour of time in my counting, that would  renew, strengthen, give me some understanding, return the joy!!

 

So today! I’ve spilled it out. I guess I’m breaking the deadlock Lord! We’re you waiting for me to come to you with a busted heart! Here I am.  I was waiting for you to come, without my need to grovel, Lord! To come because you love me! To come because you know my pain! To come, without my needing to ask – to be my knight in shining armor!

 

I’m sharing this Lord! With my sisters and brothers! I pray that they will not come with accusations, and with reprimand, and with correction.  It is from you personally that I need these, if it is what you will give me! Then, even then… I will know your love.  Because every word, every touch from you… whether it comes with correction, or with a grand hug and kiss Lord… it stirs me with love! I just need you to touch me Lord, once again, in that grand way that you do… in that fleeting way that you do… that I may have a revival for a time, and a time and a half!

 

Let no one Lord come full of  holy righteousness, white washed, to correct me! I’m pouring this out to you! But I’m pouring it on the blog… that it may be my outcry, and the outcry of all those who have stifled this very cry too! I pray that I’m breaking the deadlock Lord. Caused probably only by my silent pouting! I’m taking a moment out of pouting, to cry out to you! Will I then return to pouting.. or will you come, with renewing in your wings?! / Show me your love today Father! I need you! I need your strength! I need to have a touch of your love. 

 

My father that you gave me on this earth, Lord, bless him, he has been a good dad and I loved him and respected him, and wish to even say I love him and respect him though he has passed on… but this earth father in his own broken self did not know how to give consolation, hugs, eye glances of love that renew the heart! But you… you are God… will you not plant your eyes upon mine… your hands upon my shoulders… and in this… completely undo me Lord, and melt me Lord.. melt me into exquisite giving love that will reach out to others with renewed strength and power in your name!

 

I call on you Lord! Let my calling out break the deadlock! I want to serve you in the love I have for you. I want to glorify your holy name, and be all that you desire to see in me. I want to flow easily in the Holy Spirit within. Come Lord! Do not be silent! Must I really grovel for your attention?!  In Christ, your child.

I've posted it here, Lord! It will be our cry in unison, but singularly.. those who are also feeling deadlocked!

Hi! Its for you! 




With love. from above.
Today, I title it,
Valley of tears (Baca) reaching God's throne.  
With all my love, broken though it is.
Remember God's love,  full of beauty, pure in its passion, never ill minded. 
He gives you it, today.
As for me, this psalm is my response to Him! And my way to offer a gift of love to you!

 Psalm 84

For the director of music. According to gittith. Of the Sons of Korah. A psalm.

 ¹ How lovely is your dwelling place,
       O LORD Almighty!

 ² My soul yearns, even faints,
       for the courts of the LORD;
       my heart and my flesh cry out
       for the living God.

 ³ Even the sparrow has found a home,
       and the swallow a nest for herself,
       where she may have her young—
       a place near your altar,
       O LORD Almighty, my King and my God.

 ⁴ Blessed are those who dwell in your house;
       they are ever praising you.
       Selah

 ⁵ Blessed are those whose strength is in you,
       who have set their hearts on pilgrimage.

 ⁶ As they pass through the Valley of Baca,
       they make it a place of springs;
       the autumn rains also cover it with pools.

 ⁷ They go from strength to strength,
       till each appears before God in Zion.

 ⁸ Hear my prayer, O LORD God Almighty;
       listen to me, O God of Jacob.
       Selah

 ⁹ Look upon our shield, O God;
       look with favor on your anointed one.

 ¹⁰ Better is one day in your courts
       than a thousand elsewhere;
       I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God
       than dwell in the tents of the wicked.

 ¹¹ For the LORD God is a sun and shield;
       the LORD bestows favor and honor;
       no good thing does he withhold
       from those whose walk is blameless.

 ¹² O LORD Almighty,
       blessed is the man who trusts in you.
                                           Psalm 84 (New International Version)    www.biblegateway.com

Blessed is she who has believed that what the Lord has said to her will be accomplished!
- Luke 1: 45

       Be blessed today, sisters and brothers in the faith
as you believe on His word,
spoken to 'you'!

Do people actually place there hope in the horoscope in lieu of God, or is it a simple fun pastime that has no particular  consequence in the believer and unbeliever's life? 


I think  that many do place the horoscope on a pedestal in there lives. For instance, at my work, there is a peer who looks with exceeding anticipation for the free papers in the morning so that she can look at the horoscope, as if her day - indeed her very life - depended on it. I have seen many others in my lifetime who seem to depend on it highly, as if it were the God in whom they put there trust. They fixate on it as a daily food. And, when I consider the life of many of these, it seems to gravitate with other ways and things, that have a stronghold that leads to ungodliness - a strong force, a magnetic pull away from belief in the Lord and desires for holy living.   


Sometimes we as Christians, allow ourselves to experience things which we categorize as  'just simple innocent pleasures or amusements' - but in the end, do these things not ultimately have power to promote a certain death in us  - not the death that leads to life, but the death that leads to watering down of faith to the weakening of the same, rather than promotion of faith for increased faith living?  If so, it is sure to grieve the Lord seeing us allowing ourselves to be duped and tied to what we categorize as innocent fun rather than looking at its addictive power hold. We don't see it as a weakening link to  growth and to better things in Christ, yet are they not?


How many are the admonishing found in the books of wisdom under the words stupid / stupidity / fool / foolish / foolishness. Though more and more I recognize that I am a fool, and so unwise, having observed these many admonishings, I came to grips with the realization that I should not excuse much of what I have been excusing under the premise that I am innocent by virtue of  'stupidity' and 'foolishness'.    In fact, I am not doing such things because I'm a fool. I am a fool because I do such things.

Proverbs 17:24 - A discerning man keeps wisdom in view, but a fool's eyes wander to the ends of the earth.

Proverbs 1:32 - For the waywardness of the simple will kill them, and the complacency of fools will destroy them;

Proverbs 14:8 - The wisdom of the prudent is to give thought to their ways, but the folly of fools is deception.


The Lord strongly admonishes us ' not to be stupid'. In the psalms and proverbs much is said to steer us away from 'being a fool'. It appears to me that the strength of this command equals that of the strength of admonishing against sin. Stupidity = allowing ourselves to believe and to do the wrong. I should not make light of many simple ways I adhere to and choose to live in, but instead recognize these as unwarranted choices that I must face up to, repent of, and move away from.

 We know after all, that the devil is cunning and wry, and hides his works in what we can easily misconstrue as innocent. 

Ephesians 4:27 - ..   and do not give the devil a foothold. 

1 Peter 5: 8 - Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. 9Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings. 

Really, look hard at this issue: What amusement is there in looking to discover what the horoscope - a source outside of God - has to say about our day?  Is there not a certain power in  such - a certain uplifting that makes no sense in God's Kingdom, like a quick pick me up that is not given by your God and Father. Is the devil not wooing to believe in this as innocence when in fact it has a certain unacknowledged stronghold? Could this not be the source of a weakening in believers who dabble in it, and the cause behind  a struggle in rising up in the strength of the Lord, to going beyond the menial and rise to the fullness to which we are called?  Might such things be the struggle and stronghold not yet recognized as the source behind problems in   faith living?  Consider this with the believing eyes of faith in God. 


Without looking for the roots of the horoscope, whether they have demonic sources -  merely considering there being valued widely, and given merely for simple amusements... still - what are we really doing when we peer into a 'prophetic' word outside of God's voice?  For surely, the voice of God is not obtained through the horoscope? Instead, do we not simply and uniquely want to  prayerfully ask the Lord to lead our day, and make us a blessing to others in it?  Do we not instead want to inquire afresh for our purposes and plans every given day, trusting that God has in His vision both our God given life purpose, and a daily vision for us  that  we can put our hope in - believing though we do not see it till the day is done?        


Therefore, if you are involved in 'horoscoping', consider leaving it behind, and see if this is hard for you. But whether it is hard or not, ask the Lord if this may not be a source of grievance to Him. // For He says to us passionately, I AM  a jealous God.  

Exodus 34:14 - Do not worship any other god, for the LORD, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God. 


It may not be the horoscope, but something else that is taking unwarranted roots in the Christians life. What about those many 'what are you'  applications on the secular  f acebook.com that many of us from the mychurch family have joined.  Some of these seriously concern me as being enticements  that we as Christians should avoid. Something that seems powerless, insignificant, a mere innocent amusement may be creating a weakening in your moving forth in the things of God.  Ask the Lord.   

Remember! Consider1 The worlds eyes are upon us, more so than ever before since we are open to the world at large through the internet - on facebook.com.  More so than ever before, we have the power to stand up as being unique in the world.  In what we choose to do, and not do.  In what we choose to say and not say. In what we choose to play and not play.  In the buttons we push, and the buttons we refrain from pushing. More so than ever before, we can show a difference that appeals, that draws people to Christ by virtue of this uniqueness that raises hope, & that raises  the daring to hope in Christ alone for salvation and renewed life. 

 

Through my weekly contact with the mentioned work peer, I have had opportunity to offer her, and encourage her to read from the devotional, The Daily Bread. I hope that she reads  these faithfully, and that it therefore fosters a desire for holy living in her. I hope that it ministers to her and gives her a desire for knowing God and the things of God, steering her away from looking on what does not build, on what gives no truth, on what robs her of basing her faith in the Word of Truth & the Word of   true hope that steers us aright.   In fact, we know that the reading of the Word gives life.

Consequently, faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word of Christ. -  Romans 10: 17

Brothers and sisters, what do you think? What do you say on this matter? Do you think that I am  making much ado over nothing?              

With love, and with passion for upholding us more and more, - you, me, and the church,  new believers and the mature, the young and the old - to holy living. // We are examples brothers and sisters, to the new in the faith, and to the young ones who are here at mychurch.org. Are we steering them towards holy living, or leading them to unholy distractions that keep them from building up strong faith muscles?

Your sister in Christ, Denise