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| Life is funny sometimes; well most of the time. I used to be pretty bored, not with the people that I hung around with, but my life. It seemed that I was sleepwalking through my days without real direction. I looked and looked for an opening, asking myself what I wanted to do or where I wanted to be that was different from where or what I was doing now. Nothing really came to mind or became something that moved me to start anew. God already gave me so much in my life that I can be thankful for HIs life, three kids, an ex-wife; and now a girl friend. After 10 years, it was boom; here ya go Jerry, someone to maybe share your life with. It has been a whirlwind the last three months and nothing seems boring anymore. I have lost 30 lbs, enjoy life more and look forward to each day like a young child. Kinda strange after giving up on anything like this ever happening again. Just when you think things can't change, God gives you what you need, want and desire without you even being aware that it was what you needed in the first place. I don't know where things will go from here, but I do know that the Lord is the Lord of my life and has given me a gift of love that cannot be taken away by man. Maranatha
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| i sometimes wonder what life would be without new beginnings. there wouldn't be a sunrise, births, love, etc... what would we ever look forward to. i have been living my life in fear and very little trust for reasons that reside in my past. hurt, pain and fear provide fertile soil in which doubt and distrust can grow stronger. a wall is built quickly to insulate you from those who hurt you and it is usually a pretty strong barrier to sharing with others more than on a surface level. i have been struggling to begin anew, placing the wall building events before God and letting go. i need to let go. but it is hard when your life is partially or mostly defined by those events and the wall you built to support you and keep you alive. the wall won't come down easily; it seems to fight to remain, only coming down a brick or a stick at a time. the mud holding it together is stronger than my will to destroy it at times. where do i look for my help. you who read this help make that wall just a little bit weaker...and as the mud cracks...and the bricks fall... and the fear and distrust come out...i want it replaced by the love we have for each other and for God. be at peace my friends and join with me in celebrating His love for us all. thanking him for the sunrise each and every morning. maranatha
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