Ok, so I have to admit that I am becoming very scared of the third week of April. My Birthday is April 19th. This happens to be the same day as the whole "David Caresh/Waco TX" incident, the Oklahoma City Bombings. Then Columbine happened on the 20th af April, and now this week 32 students get gunned down at Virginia Tech. What is up with this? It is really starting to drive me nuts! I was actually shocked that 911 happened on 911 and not 411.

 Sorry if I brought you down. I just needed to get that off my chest.

Have a funny day!

northwestern United States crops and livestock.

Baby conceived naturally.  Scientists stumped.
Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.
 

Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the American Territory of the Middle East (formerly known as Iraq, Afghanistan, Syria and Lebanon).

Iran still closed off; physicists estimate

it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.
France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica.

Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.

George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.
Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.
85-year $75.8 billion study: Diet and Exercise is the key to weight loss.

Average weight of Americans drops to

250 lbs.

Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed, they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.

Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.
Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals, violates their civil rights.

Average height of NBA players is now nine feet, seven inches.

New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2036.

Congress authorizes direct deposit of formerly illegal political contributions to campaign accounts.

IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.

Florida voters still having trouble with voting machines.

The Chicago Cubs finally win the World Series, however there is proof that the White Sox threw the Series................Again.  The Baseball Commissioner has made the outcome Null and Void. 

A Story about A Guy Named Jim

By Reuge People and Friends

    Once there was a guy named Jim. He was normal except for his ears-they were like dog-ears! One day, Jim accidentally ate a coconut! This was a problem, as everyone knows Minnesotan coconuts are deadly! Jim went to the doctor, who told him he needed to get a shot on his bun-buns. Jim jumped up, put an orange peel on his knee, and said, "Owie! My nose itches and my hand hurts!" The doctor said, "Do you want a sucker?" Jim said, "OK!" and then went off to do his daily exercise of bungee jumping. Then he fell off, but he was ok.

    The next day Jim went to his normal salsa dancing class. But when he got there, flying ninjas attacked him! Jim fought them off with his awesome dog ears, and threw a ninja into the punch bowl.

    Just as the ninja hit the wall, Carson walked in for his ballroom dancing class. He saw Jim was in trouble and helped him. They escaped and jumped into Carson's silver converdy, but not before Carson said, "Hey, honey!" and grabbed his butt!

    Carson took Jim to the mall. They bought hotdogs, but Jim was a slob and spilled ketchup on his white shirt! They went to the store and boughtsome bleach, but Carson was stupid and drank the blech and died. Jim shrugged and left him to go find a new best friend, who ended up being Miriam Halleen. (Katie Laures apologizes to Carson for killing him).

    At the funeral, they were just lowering the coffin into the grave, when Carson rose from the dead. "Ha-ha! You didn't kill me! You killed my evil twin!" Everyone was mad because they had been so excited about the party, and now he was alive, so they'd have to cancel it. Jim was maddest of all, because now he'd have to go back to his old best friend and dump his current best friend, Miriam.

    Jim lived the rest of his miserable life with a best friend who wouldn't stop grabbing his butt. Finally, one day, Jim pulled Carson's arms off and made them grab Carson's butt.Carson apologized and they lived happily ever after until Carson drowned in his bathtub, which Jim really was sad about. This time, everyone cried their eyes out at the funeral, because Carson really had been a great guy, and he seemed too young to die at the age of 101.

    Jim finally croaked three years later, when he was 116. All his youth groupies hobbled over to the funeral with their walkers, canes, and wheelchairs. But Miriam was so sad about Jim's death and at the thought of him being all alone in the ground, she threw Colin Taylor in the grave on top of the coffin. No one really knows what happened after that, because that's the ened of the story of a guy named Jim with the ears like dog ears!