Well...where do I begin?
Everyone seems to have the grand story, the day they came to know God, the day they accepted Christ into their lives, some giant epiphany. I don't have that.
I feel that God has always been a part of my life, something I never questioned. When I was six, my mom had pancreatitis and spent months in ICU, died on the table and was brought back with a wonderful story of "being held" and "feeling warm" she remembers saying "I want to see my children grow up (my brother was 2 at the time) and was right back on the table. Since then, she has had surgery after surgery and has ongoing problems. At last count she was over 30 surgeries in 26 years and where so many people would turn from their faith, question God day in and day out, she doesn't. Her faith is unwavering and inspirational.
For myself, I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis in November of 2004, after a year of tests, scary symptoms (going numb on the entire right side of my body) and fear of the unknown. Ever since, I have given myself bi-daily injections, struggled with daily fatigue, balance issues, cognitive problems and more issues that I'd rather keep to myself. It is a daily struggle, something that I can't forget about because there's always something nagging me.
I need to reinvent myself as a person who, at the ripe age of 32, has lost all chances at a career, given up her favorite sport, uses a cane for any walking over 1/2 block, someone contemplating a *gasp* wheelchair for distances, someone who has to plan every day around fatigue, is disabled even by government standards and feels herself slipping away.
What can I say, I focus on the realities of the situation. No one's life is all sunshine and rainbows. Anyone who says it is, simply has not dealt with all the curveballs that life can offer. That said, I do believe there's a plan for me through all this.
I have had the experience of meeting so many hurting people online, people I have never met, people who I would probably never connect with in real life that I can share experiences with. It's truly been a blessing in ways that I wouldn't have formerly understood.
Well, I have so much to say about life but will stop so as to not make you all think I'm positively crazy.
| | Interests | | Books | | Television American Idol, So You Think You Can Dance, What Not To Wear, John and Kate Plus 8, Miami Ink |
|
