I know it has been awhile since I have returned from my trip. It has been hard to sit and write about the details. They are still so vivid in my mind and more importantly in my heart.
So my mission trip to NYC was so incredibly eye opening and rewarding. It was also heart breaking and joyful. Can words like that appear together...can they coincide in the same thought? Yes, because scripture tells us to count it all joy. So my heart could be breaking but I can also feel joy. I can have my eyes opened up to reality and yet feel so much of a reward too. When people say, "I'm going to NYC". What is the first thing that you think about? For me it was Bright lights, Big City, Broadway, All the special places of importance to see, i.e. Central Park, Empire State Building, Broadway plays/Musicals. Well, those are certainly a huge part of NYC, but it is not why I went and why I went has become a focus on my thoughts about ministry, God's people and are we doing enough?
Our first day out to minister was in the South Bronx. I walked the streets up and down handing out fliers to tell people about the soup bus. That's why I went there...to serve soup, bread and hot chocolate to the homeless, poor, down trodden people of NYC. And trust me...there are a lot of those people on the streets of NYC. It's not all about the glamour, the stock exchange, the bright lights. For these people, bright lights come in the way of taxi cabs and other cars shining in their faces at night. Glamour is something you read in a magazine and the stock exchange...well, they don't put much stock in anything in life except that a soup bus will be there every Thursday at 10am. I met and witnessed to a guy named Christian. Hmmm, imagine that...a guy named Christian. He was homeless, had friends he could stay with, but they were all into the drug scene. He was divorced and has a son...he never sees him. He wanted so desperately to make a change in his life. There are resources available that we give to them...but Stephen, the bus leader offered up something different. Here's this guy that every other word was a curse word and his life was so messed up...but the thought of going into a Christian run rehab type place sounded so good to him that he would give up the cursing, the smoking and everything else that would be required to see some peace and love in his life. Just so he could get a second chance. I thought...are we even willing to do such? Give up things that are part of our daily lives to have peace and love and acceptance? Think about it....the two situations are not much different from each other. He was willing to give up all he had or knew...not much...but it's all he has and knows. How much more do we have...and aren't willing to give it up.
Day two was in Harlem. God broke me here. He broke my heart. I have never been so close to drugs and hopelessness in my entire life. And it was right there in my face. They would walk by one minute and be fine...then you see them 20 min. later...and they are doped up out of their minds. I kept asking God, "Lord, don't they know that there is something far better?" To which he replied..."No Valarie, they don't...that is why you are here. You and these other people are here to serve and shine a light in such a dark, dark place". I can only hope that for that short 4 hours that I did in some way. One guy almost got run over because he stepped or should I say, stumbled out into the street because he was so doped up. Our group leader, Amy walked in front of him and pushed him out of harms way. It was like this slow motion event. We were all just so shocked. It literally broke my heart, church.
Our third day of service was in Brooklyn. Brooklyn is predominately a Hispanic community. We were right in the center of said community. Now understand me...I don't speak Spanish and the words I do know are very limited. I'm the type of person that feels very restricted and frustrated when a barrier is placed before me in ministry. This is what happened to me that day. I couldn't understand them...they couldn’t' understand me and all I wanted to do was tell them about Jesus. There were so many, many children there. Their eyes just shone so brightly. So how did God help me to communicate? Sidewalk chalk. I like to doodle and I just saw this as being the only way I knew best how to get through to these kids and their parents. So I just drew...and drew and talked my limited Spanish. LOL I had such a good time with those kids and I gained a better understanding about Jesus' relationship with the children.
So in three days of ministering, serving soup and bread to these people…it has made me so very thankful. So very blessed to have all that I do and you know what….I just plain don’t deserve it and I would give it all away if it meant that some of that pain would go away for those people. I just finished reading a book called, “Crazy Love”. The author, Francis Chan tells of an amazing God who is so incredibly in love with us. All he asks for is a little of our time. And all he wants is for us to love Him back. How much are we giving back? How much do we truly love our God? Are we feeding His sheep? Are we giving them a place to stay? Are we hording our own things instead of blessing others? When I came home, I called my dad to tell him that I was home safe and my first words were, “I’m back in the real world”. Then…I thought about that statement and changed it. “I’m back in the blessed world… I just left, The Real World”
I’m broken, I’m blessed. I’m forever changed and somewhat of a mess, but I know that the more I love HIS people and give sacrificially that my heart will only grow and my love for God will also grow infinitely!
Thanks for your time in reading this. I know it was long. It’s only a small glimpse of what my trip showed me. I didn’t even talk about the Subways…the busses…the people you passed on the streets. It would be much longer. You can ask me any questions if you like…that might be an easier way to tell more. I’m quite open to it.
Till ALL have heard!
Thought I would come back on here and share a picture.....this one is for you GrammyB