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Well, it's been a while since a sermon at church has really struck my head/heart hard enough to demand blog time. This Sunday's sermon by Torrey (new discipleship pastor at my church) really did. Not just because of the topic but because it so perfectly meshed with the other big thing in my heart and made me really see something I've long wished for in a different light.
While I've been at Faith Christian Community for three years, almost four now I still don't feel the same kind of connections I did at my old church. When I first started at my old church its member directory covered just the front of a single piece of paper, when I left it it had abut 200 people. FCC has (I think) several thousand. There is so much I love about FCC that I won't even try to list the reasons. One thing I dislike, and continue to feel ill at ease about it my own sense of disconnection.
Part of that comes from lack of ministry involvement ... a first for me...part is just the sheer size. It's simply not possible to know everyone. Praying through the directory each day while on my treadmill though always brings a sense of sadness that I pray for names with no faces attached, no way to respond when something about the prayer for them leaves my heart aching. Although I could creep people out with mysterious "Praying for you today" notes.
So what was meshing in my head/heart while I sat there? Many of Torrey's questions and many of the things he read from the bible. Biblical sound bytes if you will.
What is the key to community?
How do we overcome ourselves?
Well that is an especially hard one for me as in general I'd rather stab myself to death with the first available object than have to actually speak to someone I don't know. God and I have been working on that one. For seven months now I've made it a point to speak to at least one stranger every day...it's getting easier...still have to force the choice on myself though. Sometimes overcoming ourselves is a long process, one that doesn't necessarily build community. This week I took a big step and accepted a lunch invite from some ladies at church. No idea why they asked me or what we will have to talk about but it's a step towards community and I am happy for that.
Which brings us to "What is the key to community?" and how do we get there? This is what really struck me. If I'd taken better notes, or had my bible handy to search I could be more detailed here. One of the things that was a recurring theme was that we are unified by suffering, that community builds through suffering and sacrifice. Yes it can build through other things, that just builds it faster.
I know this because I see it happen every five months with a new Team in Training group. The Kick-Off Party and first practice each season are awkward and mostly silent. Doesn't take many miles, blisters, injuries, or the need to talk about chafing to break down those walls and begin to create a family. On event weekends that small family explodes into thousands when all the chapters gather for the final big run. Every purple shirt you see is someone you instantly, deeply, unabashedly love because you know exactly why they are there and what it took fo them to be...because you've done it yourself. (Wouldn't it be nice if the same were true at church?)
This is a note left in my "guestbook" at the finish line June 23rd by a teammate from San Francisco who came to Alaska to run the 1/2 marathon:
I must admit, I wasn't sure why I ran in the first place. Or, rather, why I should run. I am unselfish and giving of myself, but my life had never been touched by anything as serious as blood cancers.
Until I opened my eyes.
I watched my best friend suffer while her father fell victim to lymphoma. Friends children succumbed to leukemia under my nose. And I never knew. Until I took this journey.
Then I realized what an idiot I'd been. And blind, too.
But I still didn't feel myself connect to the cause until today.
Mile 6 sucked. At mile 9, I wanted to cry. At mile 11, I didn't know how I'd make it the last two. But I kept telling myself, "Nothing compares to the pain the people you're running for felt. NOTHING."
And I kept going. Because if I can run 13.1 miles in a little bit of pain to keep you from worse, I will. Over and Over again.
Those words blew me away, the perfect description of what it means to become Team in Training. Wouldn't it be an amazing thing if that was how we all reached out as Christians? If a little bit of pain for me will keep you from worse I will gladly take it, over and over, and over again. Christ did exactly that for all of us, and not in just little ways. He did it in ways most of us can no more imagine the pain of than we can imagine the pain a person running a marathon for us would feel. He gave up EVERYTHING to "keep you from worse."
I think that's why at the beginning of every season what I want more than anything is to grab the videos they show at recruitment meetings and play them at church services. Not just because I'd love to be surrounded by my churchmates on the course, or have them cheering/praying from the sidelines, but because I so crave that same sense of community, that sense of doing whatever it took for someone else to infuse my whole church body. I want them all to know both how good it feels to suffer for someone, and how humblingly joyful it is for others to do that for them.
Make room in your life for community...
Be intentionally self- sacrificing ...
Change your attitude & actions ...
Enter community with tenderness and compassion ...
I know I can do that in bigger ways, more consistently than I have. I bet you could too. In reality none of us are too busy, too tired, too stressed, too anything to make it OK to do less for each other than Christ did for us.
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If so my friends I need it! Somewhere out there, maybe in your pocket is the dollar that will tip the scales from research to cures, from death to life for hundreds of thousands of people battling blood cancers. In the twenty years since Team in Training was formed they have raised over $800,000,000 for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society. It’s not enough! All across this country and around the world there are thousands of people like my husband, Bill, who are still waiting. People who are still hearing “There is nothing we can do.”
Great strides have been made since the inception of the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society in 1949. While leukemia causes more deaths than any other cancer in children and young adults it’s survival rates have tripled in the past 46 years to more than 80%. In non-Hodgkin Lymphoma the age adjusted incidence rates have risen by nearly 84% yet the five year survival rates are also on the rise, 86%. Some blood cancers though are still a long way from those numbers. Myeloma survival rates are less than 40%, Myelodysplastic Syndromes even less. There is much work left to be done!
Things have changed a great deal since I sat at this desk crafting last year’s fundraising letter. Last August in the middle of training for the Nike Women’s Marathon we were told Bill was unlikely to live another six months. We left the doctor’s office that day with me in tears and him angry. He swore he’d go back in six years and “kick the doctor’s ass” for making me cry. Bill buzzed through the six month mark feeling fine and continues to work and enjoy himself as much as possible. The need for blood transfusions and a badly functioning immune system mean the leukemia is never far from our minds. He is no longer receiving any chemotherapy though as it was only making him worse. Unless research brings something new to the fore quickly we will remain focused on quality of life and making the most of every day that we have together.
We are committed to doing all we can to raise awareness and funds, to making this journey an easier one for those who follow in our footsteps. We can’t do it without you though, your friendship, prayers, hugs are all invaluable to us. Money flowing in to the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society and back out to researchers across the country is our most cherished desire. Because that money ensures that one day everyone will be told “We can cure this!” Blood cancers will first become a tiny bump on life’s pathway then it will disappear forever.
To make that happen I’m willing to endure blisters, sunburn, sweat, (chafing), and thousands of man eating mosquitoes while putting in hours of training covering hundreds of miles. Those miles will carry me back to San Francisco in October to run the Nike Women’s Half Marathon. Your donations on my behalf are what will get me there. My personal goal is to raise $10,000 this year. That goal means enough to me that I’ve been saving my pennies since last fall and have committed to matching the first $1500 in donations received.
Somewhere out there, deep in someone’s pocket, is the dollar that will save a life … if it’s given the chance. Please, take a moment right now while it’s fresh in your heart and on your mind and donate. You can do so quickly and securely online (and save me lots of paperwork) at www.active.com/donate/tntwaak/virginia I’ve already donated the first $100 towards my goal! Come make me donate more … PLEASE! Once you’ve done that why not pass this letter along to someone else and ask them to donate as well.
Thank you in advance!
Virginia Gill
The Nike Women’s Marathon and Half Marathon are fundraisers for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society it brought in $18.5 million in 2007!
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During the sermon on Sunday the pastor gave a brief example (while talking about love, devotion, ect) that he pulled from 2:4 But I have this against you, that you have abandoned the love you had at first. 2:5 Remember then from what you have fallen, repent and do the works you did at first. If not, I will come to you and remove your lampstand from its place, unless you repent.
"Never be lacking in zeal..." the example was those times in marriage (or any relationship) when you just don't feel it. You know those moments ...
It got me thinking, and wondering. Do people really know how precious a gift are the people in their lives? Your spouse, your children, parents, siblings, friends, fellow Christians, annoying neighbors, enemies. Each brings something beyond precious.
I challenge you today to take a moment. Focus on one specific person, then pray. Ask God to show you what your life would be WITHOUT that person. Don't imagine it we can all do that and what we show ourselves is usually very general and superficial. Ask God to SHOW you what would have been if he had not gifted you with that person. Being able to see, truly seeing why it is God put someone in your life makes it possible to hold on to zeal even in the worst moments.
Profound gratitude fills my heart when I look at my husband. Our journey right now is not an easy one, but it IS joyful and even when I'm too exhausted for tears I feel zealous for the next moment, and the next. I want them all.
I pray that feeling for all of you in all your relationships.
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Yesterday at church one of the pastors, Mike, comment that I hadn't sent him any long emails of late (I send him copies of blog entries about his sermons). I laughed and replied that my husband had been too ill for me to attend in several months but that if he preached a good sermon there just might be a new blog entry. LOL Be careful what you ask for Mike!
The sermon yesterday was the last one in a series about transformed relationships. I've no clue what the other sermons focused on so this one had to stand alone. It did. There were actually a number of things I could opt to focus on for blog entries ... and I have to say I'm really proud of myself for noting them and managing to stay focused on the sermon rather than debating the other things in my head as often happens. (Good sermon Mike!)
One thing mentioned in the sermon I will address separately as it is an issue dear to me. The others I will talk about here. I thought originaly two topics, two blog entries. As I review my sermon notes though I see more that I have to say. So I'm just going to type away and see where we go.
One of the opening questions was drawn from Romans 12:9 "Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good" We were asked "Can you crush evil while filled with love?" This is still swirling in my head and it will be interesting to see what others think.
"Can you crush evil while filled with love?"
He went on to define evil as (edited list he was going too fast) poverty, slavery, abortion, pornography, neglect, unjust wars ... Must admit I questioned the definition. It does however meet the dictionary definition ... "things that are morally reprehensible" So I'll go with it.
Then came the comment that really stuck in my head.
"Hate is an indicator of love controlling your life."
Huh? I'd be more inclined to say hate is the absense of love, not the indicator of its depth...at least not positive depth. Now I know many people use hate in a very casual sense, I hate rain, I hate brussel sprouts. Even eliminating that casual hate as an idicator of love just doesn't work ... or does it?
The dictionary defines hate thusly "1 a: intense hostility and aversion usually deriving from fear, anger, or sense of injury b: extreme dislike or antipathy : loathing " Do I have an aversion to poverty? Does slavery make me feel hostile? Abortion, pornography, neglect, unjust wars? Do they leave me with a sense of injury? Yes. Do they make me angry? Sometimes, not always. Do they make me afraid? No, I can't say that they do.
So here I'd have to say, "OK Mike. I'll give you this one...the idea isn't completely unthinkable like I felt during your sermon." That said, I would still debate. Do we act against evil because we feel hate?? Or do we act against evil because we are so filled with love there is no alternative?
I don't FEEL hatred towards any of the things listed in the sermon. What I feel is an all emcompassing LOVE for the people those things touch, so I act, I reach out and embrace. Does that act crush the evil? No, it's still there. It will always be there in this world. Would I love the people any less if they were not being touched by evil?? No, I would not.
So I guess ultimately I do disagree. You can't crush evil while filled with love. You CAN however help mitigate the effects of evil on the life of another by being filled with love. Hate isn't the indicator of love controlling your life. Love itself is the indicator, the degree in which you act on the fullness of Christ's love within you. I don't believe we reach out because we hate ... we reach out because Love gives us no choice.
Well then, I guess I'm not going to ramble on as many topics as I thought. We'll leave the rest for another day.
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Have you ever noticed the things people just can't say?
People often cringe at using the correct terms for bodily parts, states of sin, marital problems, you name it and we'll find ways to avoid saying the actual words. As if saying the proper thing somehow makes it more real, more scary, more shameful. I've found this perplexing since childhood (my family actually used proper terms so encountering folks who didn't was confusing). Never more so than now though.
What is so very wrong with death, dying?
Euphenisms are driving me insane. Is it supposed to be more comforting when people say "When he passes _____" passes what? A kidney stone? Gas? The salt? A good book on the bargain rack? Passes? What IS that? Or "Once he's no longer with you ____" No longer with me? Like when he wanders off in the grocery store? Or gets lost in a crowd? Sheesh sounds more like being left for another woman! "When Bill ___" When he what? Wins the lottery? Surprises me with a trip to Tahiti? Buys me the Dr Suess books in Latin?
So far the doctor are the worst. Topping the list of annoying ways to avoid actually using the word dying, "Wow, you're really winding down." Winding down??
Winding.
Down.
What?! My husband was a mechanical toy I somehow forgot to wind up?
Death is NORMAL! Dying is something that will happen to each and every one of us at some point. Why is that word for very hard for people? I use the word often at this point. Yet without fail it makes people cringe. I chuckle when they try to correct me, "Yes he's very sick." No, actually he's not sick...he feels pretty good most days. But he IS dying, like it or not.
How can we as fellow human beings, much less Christians, help each other through these journeys if even the words are too painful for us? Sure, Christ is "no longer with" us, but we'd never say "Christ's passing" or "When Christ ____" And I'm reasonably sure no one gazed upon the cross and said "He's really winding down now" He died. For all of us.
Don't we somehow lessen the import of what is happening in the lives of those around us if we refuse to speak the truth about what is happening?
Why can't we just say the words?
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